Maud lay absolutely still, hardly noticing the ache between her legs. There was no room in her mind for the pain of her body or the bloodied state of her nightgown; her entire being was filled with terror in case the cousins came back.
She stared into the darkness, seeing Simon’s greedy gloating smile, seeing Thomasina’s face red and ugly with excitement, and hearing her voice urging Simon to go on…
Thomasina had gone into the nearby bathroom; Maud could hear the clanking of the plumbing as Thomasina washed and brushed her teeth as she always did before going to bed. Was Thomasina going to come to bed as if this was an ordinary night? If she so much as touched Maud, Maud thought she would scream.
But when Thomasina came back she got quietly into bed and lay without speaking. Maud did not move; she was reliving the feel of Simon’s body, and the deep spiking pain. What if Thomasina and Simon intended to do this to her every night? She could not bear it. She would do anything other than endure it.
With the thought, the germ of a plan slid into her mind. At first she thought she would not dare follow it, but when she considered a bit more, she knew it was worth taking any risk if it meant she would get away.
She waited for about ten minutes and then got out of bed, not particularly troubling to be quiet, and went across to the big walkin cupboard. Almost at once there was a movement from the bed, and Thomasina’s voice, a bit blurry from all the wine she had drunk earlier, said, ‘Maud? Where are you going?’
Maud’s heart leapt up into her throat and the palms of her hands turned clammy with nervous sweat, but she said, ‘Bathroom. To wash and get a clean nightgown. I’m in a bit of a mess.’ She waited, willing Thomasina to open her eyes and see the blood.
Thomasina did open her eyes. She looked at Maud and said, ‘Oh. Oh yes, I see. It’s on the sheet as well. We’d better tell the servants that it’s your monthly bleeding, not that it’s anything to do with them. It’s stopped though, hasn’t it?’
‘I think so.’
‘Poor little virgin bird,’ said Thomasina, and closed her eyes again.
Poor little virgin bird. The words ought not to have stung–virginity was something to be prized, it was what every good girl saved for marriage–but there had been a patronizing pity in Thomasina’s voice that Maud hated. She clenched her fists and thought that one day she would make Thomasina pay.
She took her dressing gown from its hook on the back of the cupboard door, and made a play of putting it on. In fact she put on her dark woollen cloak, wrapping it firmly around her, then draping the dressing gown on top of it. If Thomasina was watching in the unlit bedroom it was not very likely she would realize what Maud had done. Even so, Maud was careful to keep the cupboard door wide open to screen her from the bed. Under cover of pretending to look for her slippers, she took the day-gown she had worn that morning, and crammed it under her dressing gown. Underthings were in a small drawer; she grabbed several garments more or less at random, and thrust them into the dressing-gown pockets along with stockings. Shoes? She remembered she had rubber boots in the little room near the sculleries; she could slip those on downstairs.
Her heart was hammering as she left the bedroom. Supposing Thomasina came after her? But there was no movement from the bed, and Maud reached the bathroom safely, shut and locked the door.