Once Upon a Time: New Fairy Tales Paperback

“You’ll know soon enough,” said Tailcather. “That’s where we’re going.”


That was the palace.

Ivan had never seen a building so large. His father’s mill could

have fit into one of its towers. With a sense of unease, he rode up to the gates.

“State your business!” said a guard who had been crouching in the

gatehouse and stood up only long enough to challenge them.

Ivan was about to reply when Blanchefleur poked her head out of

the pannier. “I am Blanchefleur. My mother is the Lady of the Forest, and our business is our own.”

“You may pass, my Lady,” said the guard, hurriedly opening the

gates and then hiding again.

They rode up the long avenue, through the palace gardens, which

were magnificent, although Ivan thought they were not as interesting as the Lady’s gardens with their cat gardeners. They left the horse with an ostler who met them at the palace steps, then hurried off toward the stables. At the top of the steps, they were met by a majordomo

who said, “This way, this way.” He reminded Ivan of Marmalade.

They followed the majordomo down long hallways with crimson

carpets and paintings on the walls in gilded frames. At last, they

came to a pair of gilded doors, which opened into the throne room.

There was the King, seated on his throne. Ivan could tell he was the King because he wore a crown. To one side of him sat the Lady. To the other sat a girl about Ivan’s age, also wearing a crown, and with a scowl on her face. Before the dais stood two men.

“Ivan,” said the Lady, “I’m so pleased to see you. I’m afraid we have a problem on our hands. About a year ago, a dragon arrived on the coast.

At first, he only attacked the ports and coastal villages, and then only occasionally. I believe he is a young dragon, and lacked confidence in his abilities. But several months ago, he started flying inland, attacking market towns. Last week, he was spotted in the skies over the capital, and several days ago, he landed on the central bank. That’s where he is now, holed up in the vault. Dragons like gold, as you know. The King has asked for a dragon slayer, and I’m hoping you’ll volunteer.”

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? Theodora Goss ?

“What?” said Ivan. “The King has asked for a what?”

“Yes, young man,” said the King, looking annoyed that the Lady

had spoken first. “We’ve already tried to send the municipal police after him, only to have the municipal police eaten. The militias

were not able to stop him in the towns, but I thought a trained

police force—well, that’s neither here nor there. The Lady tells me a dragon must be slain in the old-fashioned way. I’m a progressive

man myself—this entire city should be wired for electricity by next year, assuming it’s not destroyed by the dragon. But with a dragon

sitting on the monetary supply, I’m willing to try anything. So we’ve made the usual offer: the hand of my daughter in marriage and the kingdom after I retire, which should be in about a decade, barring ill health. We already have two brave volunteers, Sir Albert Anglethorpe and Oswald the—what did you say it was?—the Omnipotent.”

Sir Albert, a stocky man with a shock of blond hair, bowed. He

was wearing chain mail and looked as though he exercised regularly

with kettlebells. Oswald the Omnipotent, a tall, thin, pimply man in a ratty robe, said, “How de do.”

“And you are?” said the King.

“Corporal Miller,” said Ivan. “And I have no idea how to slay a

dragon.”

“Honesty! I like honesty,” said the King. “None of us do either. But you’ll figure it out, won’t you, Corporal Miller? Because the dragon really must be slain, and I’m at my wits’ end. The city evacuated, no money to pay the military—we won’t be a proper kingdom if this keeps up.”

“I have every confidence in you, Ivan,” said the Lady.

“Me too,” said Blanchefleur.

Startled, Ivan looked down at the white cat. “May I have something

to eat before I go, um, dragon-slaying?” he asked. “We’ve been