“You’re welcome. I’m guessing we’re soon going to be on the receiving end of some angry calls from New York about this, so be prepared.”
Lance nodded while making a mental note to add an extra fifty thousand to Andy’s bank account this Christmas, and sunk back into his seat. Now that the laughter had escaped him, he felt hollow. His nerves were like unbraided cables, and a draining weariness began to settle over him. At that moment he felt sure he could sleep without interruption, without the feeling of water running over his feet and soaking his back, without the sounds of sliding footsteps just behind him.
“So what are you going to do?” Andy asked, bringing Lance back to the sounds of the car around him. Lance sighed and rubbed his face. Up until this point, he had hoped that the words would just return. He didn’t have a contingency plan other than waiting, but when he stopped to think about it, waiting didn’t seem to be such a great idea either.
“I don’t know. Sit down at the computer and stare into the abysmal whiteness of the blank page until my muse returns?”
Andy blinked abnormally long. “I think you should go on vacation.”
“What? Why? I can’t take a break now, I’m on a break.”
Andy tipped his head toward him. “Sometimes the best thing to do is just step back and get away for a while, get a different perspective on what’s bothering you. You should go somewhere warm, lie on a beach. Bring Ellen, do nothing but have sex and drink for a week, see if that gets things going again.”
The thought of Ellen’s last words and the slamming door caused Lance to grimace. “I’m guessing Ellen wouldn’t go to the park with me right now, not to mention on vacation.”
Andy looked over at him and then back at the road before speaking. “I never liked her.”
“God, Andy!”
“I’m just telling you the truth. She always treated me like I was mentally retarded, talking slowly to me and speaking a little louder than normal. I’ve got Asperger’s. I’m not hard of hearing.”
“Noted.” The harshness in Lance’s voice didn’t go entirely unnoticed as Andy fell silent and turned into Lance’s drive.
Andy threw the car into park and glanced over at his friend. “If you don’t want to go away, then go see Dr. Tyler.”
Lance shook his head and looked out of the passenger window, a flash of anger running through his stomach like a hot blade. “I don’t need to go see him. I’m fine. I just need to calm down and be alone for a while with my thoughts. Besides, he moved to Michigan a couple years ago.”
“Then call him, you know he’d talk to you.”
“I know he would. I just want this to go away. It’s been gone for so long. I was free of it, and now this? I lost my ability to do the only thing that makes me feel worthwhile. Really?” Lance fell silent as the anger turned into a sour despair that sat burning within his chest. Andy shifted in the seat beside him and finally broke the stiff silence inside the car.
“You were never really free of it, your past. No one is. It just went dormant, that’s all.”
Lance nodded with a few quick jerks of his head. Andy may not have always been the most emotional friend through the years, but he could be damn insightful at times.
“I guess I’ll just have to sit down and grind it out, do the best I can. It’s not like my fingers are gone and I can’t type.”
“God helps those who help themselves,” Andy said.
Lance snorted and looked over at his friend, who sat frowning back at him. “Andy, I have the distinct feeling that God set things in motion a long time ago, and he hasn’t been back since.” Lance reached out and grasped the handle of the door, but stopped halfway out of the car. “Besides, that’s just a nifty way of saying ‘get off your ass and do it yourself.’”
The right side of Andy’s mouth curled up in an attempt at a smile as Lance stepped out of the car and shut the door behind him.
Chapter 5
“Happiness is always a coincidence.”
—José Bergamín