Pam glanced at her, her lips pressed together. She nodded reluctantly. “All right. But John is going to kill me, and I won’t blame him! I don’t understand. Just tell me why, Cathy!”
There was a tense silence. Cathy turned to the window. “It’s just all finally gotten to me. At the apartment, I can bawl my head off and not worry about waking you and John.”
Pam shot a startled look at her sister. Tears welled in her eyes. She tried to make a joke of it. “Okay. It must be shit to be a superhero, Wonder Woman.”
Cathy choked on a hoarse laugh. “You have no idea.” She was grateful that Pam wasn’t going to hassle her anymore. She was grateful, period. She didn’t really know what she would have done without her sister’s unfailing support, especially during the early days of Chloe’s long recovery.
On the way to the apartment, each was caught up in her own somber thoughts. Pam insisted on coming into the apartment with Cathy to make sure the heat was turned up and that there was still food in the refrigerator-freezer and pantry. “Not that I can trust you to cook for yourself,” she grumbled.
Cathy shrugged. “I haven’t been all that hungry lately anyway.” As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she realized her mistake.
“You have to eat better,” said Pam softly. “Cathy, you’ve lost too much weight since you broke up with Michael.”
It was a refrain that Pam had been repeating all too often. Cathy groaned. “Pam, don’t!”
Her sister’s chin squared stubbornly. “Cathy, you owe it to yourself and to Chloe! You’ve got to take better care of yourself. And you’ve got to get over this thing with Michael!”
Cathy smiled with affection at her sister. “That’s why I wanted to come here tonight. I want some time alone to get my head together.”
“Oh.” Pam bit her lip. She grimaced. “I’ve been too much of a mother-hen, haven’t I?”
“Yes, but I love you for it.”
Pam pulled her knit scarf closer around her neck. Her gaze roved over the meager furnishings. “The lease is up soon on this place, isn’t it?”
“Yes.”
“I’m glad.” Pam’s voice was clipped. “I’ll be glad when you’re out of this dump!”
“Not now, Pam. Please.”
“I know. I’m being a bitch.” Pam hugged her and kissed her on the cheek. “I just hurt for you so much.”
After Pam left, Cathy locked the door. She walked back to Chloe’s bedroom and stood in the open doorway. The room was as Chloe had left it the last time she had been there. Her gaze roamed over the ruffled curtains, the pink-and-white dresser, the spangled canopied four-poster. It all looked oddly peaceful and welcoming.
Cathy crossed the room to lie down on the bed. Her daughter was getting stronger by the day. It was a blessing so dazzling that she could still scarcely comprehend it. However, her affair with Michael was as good as ended, and her emotions had been on a see-saw ever since.
She didn’t know what she was going to do about Michael.
It was a long night. She didn’t sleep much. She just lay on the bed in the dark, thinking. As the shadows changed and grayed with the dawn, Cathy sat up. She pushed her hair out of her face then got up and went into the bathroom. She splashed water in her face.
Without turning on a light, she walked into the small living room to pick up her phone and speed-dial her sister’s number. When she heard Pam’s sleepy voice, she said quietly, “Pammy, I’m pregnant.” She listened for a minute. “Yes, it’s Michael’s. Of course I was on the pill! I–I must have missed taking it, what with everything—I don’t know if I’m seeing him again. No! I am not going to call him right now. Just come pick me up, okay? I don’t need to be here anymore—love you too.”