Saint John spoke, his quiet voice overriding the younger man’s.
“When the world burned down,” he said, “I was alone. For many months before that, I was in a hospital, in a psychiatric ward—did you know that?” He did not wait for an answer. “They thought I was sick . . . mentally unstable . . . because I said that the god of darkness spoke to me inside my head. There are people with such sickness, you know; before the Fall and since. Some of them have joined us. Others have joined the way-station monks. After all, God speaks in so many different ways, and in the end he speaks to everyone.”
“Even heretics?”
“Even them,” agreed Saint John. “Although the heretics hear the voice of God and refuse to listen. Others—the lost ones—hear the voice and don’t, or can’t, recognize it for what it is. They are to be pitied. When we usher them into the darkness, it is always with kindness, with a gentler touch of the knife.”
The saint began walking, and Brother Peter rose and fell into step beside him.
“After the Fall, I wandered the streets of my city, watching it burn, watching the darkness grow. The Gray People never touched me. Not once.”
“A miracle, Honored One.”
“Yes. It was proof, you see. It showed others that I was indeed the first saint of this church.” They walked through the forest as casually as if the day had not been filled with screams and murder. Two scholars idly discussing a point of philosophy on a lovely afternoon. “And then I found Mother Rose. She was . . . merely ‘Rose’ then. A woman who had lost herself even before the world fell down around her. I rescued her from savage men, heretics who saw the coming of the darkness as an invitation to hurt and humiliate those weaker than themselves.”
“I remember,” said Brother Peter faintly.
“I know you do. And you remember the years that followed, as Rose accepted the darkness into her heart and became elevated as the mother of all.”
“Yes.” Brother Peter could not keep the bitterness out of his voice.
“Those were good days. You were so young and yet so bright. So eager to learn the ways of the blade and the purity that is the darkness. Pride is a sin, but I will accept whatever rebuke is due me for the pride I felt in you. Then and now. You have been the rock on which I built the Night Church.” They walked a few paces. “You, Peter. Not her.”
Brother Peter bowed his head in humility.
“Tell me,” said Saint John, “when you look inside your head and your heart . . . at those times when you are in the depths of prayer and meditation . . . what does paradise look like?”
“Look like?” asked Peter.
“Yes. If you were to paint a picture of what waits for us—what you want to be on the other side of the doorway, what you truly believe is beyond this world—what is that picture? Describe it to me.”
They walked for half a dozen paces before Peter said, “It is the darkness.”
“And—?”
“The darkness is all. The darkness is enough. The darkness is everything.”
Saint John nodded. “That is what I see. That is what I believe is there.”
“But I—”
“And when you think about this world—when you imagine what this planet will be when the last of the heretics is gone, and when the last of us communes with our own blades so that our darkness joins with eternity—tell me, Brother Peter, what does this world look like?”
They were at the edge of the forest now, and they looked out on the vast desert that stretched away before them and vanished into the shimmering horizon. Brother Peter nodded toward the endless sand. “That is what I see, Honored One.”
“The desert?”
“The peacefulness. Empty of human pain and misery. Empty of struggle. Restored to the perfection of nature.”
“And all that man has made and built?”
“It will turn to dust. This world will heal of the infection that is man. The world will be whole and perfect again.”