Boring Girls

“Yeah, I guess that’s part of it too,” she said. “I mean wouldn’t that be part of it for everyone? Wanting attention and to stand out and everything?”


I was mulling over my goal, my reason for wanting to do Colostomy Hag. Was it because I wanted attention? Because I wanted everyone to think I was cool and talented and original? I guess part of it was that. I think I really also wanted to show people, the type of people who were going to naysay us, and me, and make fun of us, that they were wrong. I wanted to surprise people. If they thought that a girl couldn’t lead a metal band, I wanted to prove to them that they were dead wrong.





TWENTY-FOUR


Socks and Edgar joined us in line. We told them all about meeting Marie-Lise and what we’d talked about. Socks lamented that we hadn’t had a demo to give her and reiterated that we needed to get into a studio and record songs, release an album.

We heard a shout and looked back — it was Craig and Yvonne. We invited them to join us.

“How have you been?” Yvonne asked me. “It’s been so long. I hear you guys are in a band. I can’t wait to come see you. When’s your next show?”

“Nothing planned right now.”

“Yeah, I couldn’t make it. I’m really sorry. But you sing! How cool is that? I seriously can’t wait to check the music out. Remember how you punched that guy in the face at Surgical Carnage? I can’t think of any chick who’d be better to front a metal band than you, Rachel.”

We filed in shortly, telling Craig and Yvonne everything we could about Heathenistic Bile. The concert began — and I was horrified to see that Blackskull had the chain on and everything. “They’re totally going to do it again!” I shouted to Edgar, and we laughed.

The place was packed — hundreds of people. Bigger than the Surgical Carnage crowd had been. We found a place along the back of the club where we could all see the stage. Heathenistic Bile definitely upped the ante this time — Kate and Jennifer wiggled wildly, fishnet-clad on each side of the stage, and Paul was even more dramatic, but the crowd didn’t seem into it. A few heads moved at the front, but there was no mosh pit or anything, and the cheer that would rise after each song was lukewarm.

When it was time to unleash the beast, there was no crowd response at all. Paul and his band steeled themselves and pressed on, Blackskull emitting the same weak howl as before, but no one responded except for a few random shrieks here and there.

“Probably their friends,” Socks said. “Same guys from the Toe.”

I noticed a few people in the crowd laughing at the pro-ceedings, which made me smile. Morons. They thought they were better than us, and it was vindicating to see that we weren’t the only ones who thought they sucked. It would have been nice to land this gig, opening for Gurgol. It would have been a good opportunity for us, especially because of Marie-Lise. If the crowd was into her being in the band, maybe they’d be into our band too.

Heathenistic Bile finished their last few songs, and the crowd halfheartedly cheered them offstage. Immediately the vibe in the room picked up. Gurgol was next.

We all hung out chatting a bit while we waited, and Craig came up beside me. I’d seen him around school, but I hadn’t been thinking about him or boyfriends or school — or anything, really, except the band.

“How have you been?” he said.

“Fine. You?”

“Oh, busy with school and shit like that. I totally want to come out to your next show.”

The last time I had really talked to Craig was the day he’d given me Heathenistic Bile’s CD. “So, those guys are your friends, eh?” I said, gesturing to the stage.

He blushed a little. “Yeah, kinda. I mean, I know they aren’t very good, but you know, at least they’re nice guys.”

“Not really,” I corrected him. “In fact, Paul is a complete asshole.”

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