“I don’t know. Some girl from Our Lady of Heaven.”
“Okay,” Mom said. “This is exciting! You’re going to a party. Is it a birthday party?”
“No, Mom, it’s just a regular party,” I said, which silenced them both again. I began to feel the familiar skin-crawling sensation of annoyance creep up my body. I wanted to go to my room.
“Will there be alcohol involved?” Dad asked slowly.
“No, Dad. They aren’t like that. It’s just to hang out.”
Dad frowned. “Rachel, don’t forget: I’m a teacher. I deal with kids your age every day, and I know what goes on at these parties.”
“Oh, Rachel, I don’t want you drinking,” my mother said.
“Or doing drugs either. Smoking pot, causing trouble.” My dad was getting into preach mode, and it was all I could do not to roll my eyes. “Doing acid. I know what goes on. It’s dangerous. You’re a smart girl, you don’t want to start making bad decisions. You have to be very careful.”
“Guys, it’s fine. Don’t worry about me.”
“Be home by nine,” my mother said.
“But it’s eight o’clock! I’m not even meeting Josephine until nine!”
“Oh, right. Well . . . be home by midnight.”
“And if you need a ride home, call us. Don’t get into a car with anyone who’s been drinking,” Dad said. “We want to keep the doors of communication open. Don’t be afraid to come to us to talk about drugs, drinking, sex, whatever you need advice with.”
“I get it, all right? I’m going to go get dressed.”
xXx
I put on one of my best outfits, a dark blue plaid jumper with a black puff-sleeved blouse underneath. Black tights, and my trusty old winter boots. I put on a bit more makeup than normal, trying to channel a hint of Marie-Lise despite my boring brown hair and protective parents, and after insisting to my mother that what I was wearing was fine for a party, I left for the park.
Josephine was waiting there for me. We headed off across the neighbourhood. She babbled away about which of her friends would be there tonight, about some cute guy who was supposed to go also, and about who was going to bring the beer. I was nervous. I wished I’d brought my Discman along so I could have one ear in while she talked, listening to something that would make me feel stronger. Fuck, it was so frustrating dreading these social situations. Josephine knew I was nervous and reassured me that everyone would be really cool. “Once you’ve had a few beers, you’ll be fine.”
Yeah, great.
xXx
After a bit of a walk into a neighbourhood I’d never been to before, we walked up to a house with loud music playing and people hanging out on the driveway.
“Oh, I don’t know about this,” I said, stopping at the bottom of the walkway leading up to the house. I felt shaky, and my stomach was upset. My stupid palms sweated. “I’m nervous.”
Josephine turned to me and touched my arm. “Rachel, you’re wonderful. And I promise I will leave with you if you want to go. Just give it a chance.”
She smiled, and I appreciated her so much in that moment. “You promise?”
“I won’t abandon you,” she said.
We smiled at each other and then walked up to the door. She flung it open and strolled in as if she owned the place.
I knew immediately it was a bad idea that I had come. The music was fucking annoying, too loud and it was some kind of bullshit you’d hear on the radio. There were people everywhere. Just hanging out and laughing it up, all of them holding beer bottles or drinks, smoking cigarettes, and all of them looked like assholes. I expected to see Brandi. A bunch of people looked over as they noticed us walk in. Mostly they just went back to their conversations, but two girls came running over.
Squealing, they embraced Josephine and launched into immediate chatting bullshit. I squeezed in behind her so I could close the front door, trapping us in that awkward living room.
“This is my friend Rachel,” Josephine said, gesturing to me. “Rachel, these are my friends Erica and Heather.”