Yinka, Where Is Your Huzband?

I can come with you, I’m thinking, but instead I say, “No problem.”

He smiles again and licks his lips, and I go all shy as I smile back. Note to self: Google “What does it mean when a guy licks his lips?”

I shove my phone into my bag, feeling excited and really good about myself. God, I can’t believe my plan is working. And who knew Alex would be so fit! I can’t wait to tell JoBrian when I see them tomorrow.

“So,” Alex says as we resume a comfortable stride, “what does Yinka like to watch on Netflix then?”





The updated, updated plan



OPERATION WEDDING DATE: MY PLAN TO HAVE A DATE FOR RACHEL’S WEDDING IN JULY!!!

                                                        OBJECTIVES

              TASKS

              DEADLINE

              KPIs



             1. Find out more about Alex

              ? Find him on Facebook and do a bit of snooping

              ? By next Sunday

              ? I like what I find ? Alex is not a douche



             ? Set up an Instagram account and find him



             ? Spend time with Alex

              ? At lunch after church next Sunday





Giant pandas


MONDAY

    RACHEL

Hey chicas

So, bridal meeting’s this Friday

Nando’s. Holborn. 6 p.m.

And pls . . .

NO AFRICAN TIME!!!



Love ya Xxx



“And theeen . . .” I deliberately pause for effect, glancing between Joanna and Brian as I relish their anticipation. Brian drums the table. “He asked me for my number.”

“Get out of here!” Joanna is genuinely surprised.

“Are you being serious?” Brian’s eyes widen.

“Yup.” I beam and reach for my G&T. “My number.”

It’s eight in the evening and we’re catching up at All Bar One, though not the one that we usually go to (God forbid I bump into my former co-workers). Instead, we’re at the one not too far from London Bridge station. I can’t wait to tell them about the phone call I just had too.

“Do you have a photo?” asks Joanna over her glass of red wine.

“Sadly not,” I admit, shifting on my stool. “His WhatsApp picture is currently one of a beach, and despite playing with the search filters, I couldn’t find him on Facebook. Or Instagram. Though I’m not sure if I’m using it right. I only just joined.”

“Perhaps his profile is private,” says Joanna, crossing her legs. “I think there’s a setting on Facebook where you can choose to only be looked up by your friends.”

“And not everyone uses their real name on Instagram,” Brian chips in.

“Oh, right.” I nod. “Oh, that reminds me.” I whip out my phone. “What’s your Insta Name? I mean, handle. Whatever it’s called.”

“We’ll tell you later,” Joanna says, flapping her hand. “We want to hear more about Alex—who, by the way, sounds gorgeous.”

“He is,” I breathe. I wonder what Nana and Rachel will think of him. I can’t wait to tell them this Friday. And Ola. Let’s see if she’ll still have the balls to call me closed-minded.

“So what made you change your mind?”

This question comes from Brian, who is stirring his drink, a mischievous grin on his face. “How come you suddenly decided to meet Alex? The last time we spoke, you were against the idea.”

“I dunno.” I shrug. “Guess I just had a change of heart.”

Joanna and Brian narrow their eyes. They can sense BS.

“Fine, okay.” I put down my drink. I tell them about my ex-boyfriend’s impromptu visit and our awkward interaction and how he’s now engaged to a might-as-well-be Instagram model.

“No, my decision has nothing to do with him being engaged,” I have to stress far too many times. “I simply need a plus one for my cousin’s wedding so I don’t have to admit I lied. A plus one who happens to be called Alex or is happy to be called that for the day.”

“Well, I could have pretended,” Brian says. He doesn’t even manage to keep a straight face, and we all cackle.

Then Joanna gasps. “Oh, no. Does this mean that Derek is out of the picture?”

“Jo, if you like him that much, then you date him! Anyway, enough about me.” I take the tiniest sip of my drink. This has to last me a few rounds. “What’s going on at Godfrey? Any word on redundancies?”

“Well, Louise is still around,” says Brian, scrunching up his nose as though he’s got a waft of something foul. “And everyone in the team is pretty anxious. So, yeah, it’s a shit time.”

Joanna sighs. “No whispers of more redundancies yet, but that hasn’t stopped me from looking for a new job. Oh, sorry, Yinka—how’s the job hunt going?”

“Yeah, I forgot to mention. I’ve got an interview next Thursday.”

“Oh, wow. Congratulations!”

“Already?”

“What company?”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

Joanna and Brian speak over each other.

“I only got the call this morning.” I ignore Brian, who says, “Too busy thinking of Alex, eh.”

“It was from a recruitment agency,” I carry on. “They think I’d be perfect for a VP Operations role at Oscar Larsson.”

“Oscar Larsson,” echoes Joanna.

“Oooooh, the enemy,” says Brian.

“Yup.” I nod. “Anyway, the interview next Thursday is only the first round. It will be with HR, obviously.”

Joanna snaps her fingers. “This means we could do lunch. Larsson’s office is literally next door.”

I laugh. “Jo, when was the last time we had lunch together? We always ate at our desks and I imagine I’d be doing the same thing at Larsson. And yeah, let me get the job first.”

“Well, we can do after-work drinks,” says Brian, raising his glass.

And Joanna says, “Yeah, and we’ll be keeping our fingers crossed for you.”

Brian holds up his crossed fingers.

“Thanks. I appreciate it.”

As I take another sip, I feel a fizzle of excitement. How did I go from being booted out of my job to getting an interview and bagging a hot guy’s number in a matter of days? That magical moment Alex and I shared—the bit when we looked into each other’s eyes—I’ve replayed it in my head like ten times already . . . I’m replaying it right now . . . and when he licked his lips. Damn, so sexy.

“Guess who recently signed up to Tinder?” Joanna says, flashing her phone at us.

“About time too,” Brian says as I quirk a brow. He reaches for Joanna’s phone and taps away. “I mean, look at this beauty of a man.”

Ooh, the guy on the screen is cute. His display name says Marcus, and he has the bluest eyes and a kind smile to match.

“Twenty-eight. Lives in south London.” Brian flickers his brows at Joanna. “I’m telling you, Jo. You’ve been depriving yourself for months. Want me to swipe right, yes?”

“Brian. I like older guys.” Joanna snatches her phone. “I know I don’t look it, but I’m kicking forty, you know.”

Oh, yeah, I always forget Joanna’s a few years older than me.

“What about all those paid dating sites? What made you suddenly change your mind?”

“Sex,” says Joanna matter-of-factly. She’s so blasé about it, I nearly spill my drink.

“But I thought you were after something serious?” I ask.

“I am,” Joanna cries. “I mean . . . but . . .”

“She hasn’t had sex in a long time,” Brian finishes.

“Two years,” Joanna clarifies. “Two whole years. Not saying that I want to jump in bed with the next Tom, Dick or Harry—”

“But what she is saying isss,” Brian cuts in, “she can’t afford to make it three years.”

“Yeah, three years is definitely pushing it,” says Joanna, shaking her head as though to even fathom the thought was too much to bear. She puts down her wine. “Yinka, be honest with me. Two years is a long time to deprive your vagina, right? Hasn’t it been that long since you and Femi . . .”

“Hmm?” I reach for my glass. I need to hold on to something.

Brian and Joanna stare at me.

I take a sip. “Well . . . it could be longer.”

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