“Which explains Adam.”
“Pathetic, aren’t I? I can’t have a relationship with someone successful because it hurts my career, and I can’t have a relationship with someone who’s struggling because it hurts my career.” She slumped into the seat. “I need a Dennis. Unfortunately, I gave him away to Rachel.”
He ignored that piece of self-pity. “You’re making something simple too complicated. Sometimes a relationship can just be fun. Casual.”
“At what point have I ever struck you as a casual person?”
“Fair point.”
It felt good to be honest. “I’ve learned a hard lesson. Relationships compromise my work, and it’s my work that gives my life meaning.”
He kept his gaze fixed on the highway. “Since you’re so clear-eyed, it wouldn’t have to be that way with us.”
She took her time replying. “I like being with you, Thad, and you like being with me, and before long, I might end up turning down Carmen at the Mariinsky to sit on the sidelines and watch you not play.”
He shifted in his seat as if he weren’t entirely comfortable. “That could work two ways, you know.”
“Oh, really? I can see it now. ‘Sorry, Coach, I can’t show up for the game today because my lover is singing Despina in Così fan tutte, and I need to be there to support her.’”
“Okay, maybe not that.”
“You’re the anti-Dennis, and we’re not going to happen, no matter how much I might be lusting after you. I’m not saying I am, but I’m not saying I’m not, either.”
“Flattering,” he said dryly.
She needed to make sure there was no misunderstanding, but that meant revealing something she’d never confessed to another person. She steadied herself. “I want to be one of the immortals, Thad,” she said quietly. “I want to do great work. Not just good. Great. I want to do work so monumental people will still be listening to my recordings long after I’m gone.”
Her openness took him aback, and he responded in the only way he knew how, by launching an offensive. “You’re making something as simple and natural as sex way too complicated.”
“Says the man who wants to get laid.”
“You do, too.”
“And I hope it’ll happen one of these days. But not with you.” She gripped her hands in her lap. “I can’t go to bed with you, Thad Owens, no matter how much I might want to. Because, whether you admit it or not, who I am is more than a man like you can handle.”
His mouth set in a grim line. “That’s what you think.”
They rode the rest of the way to Denver in silence.
*
They arrived at the hotel at nine in the morning. Henri had kept his word. Thad and Olivia had adjoining suites. Hers had a kitchen and dining area. His didn’t. But they were back in civilization again, and as long as the door stayed open between them, he didn’t care about having the smaller space.
She went off to unpack. He hung up his jacket. Their conversation in the car had rattled him—not because he didn’t understand what she’d said but because he did, and it had tilted his perspective in a way he didn’t like. She was right. No matter how intelligent or successful the women in his life had been, they had accommodated themselves to him more than he’d ever accommodated himself to them. He’d come first. Always.
An eerie sound emerged from the next suite, breaking his train of thought. It wasn’t exactly a scream, but something close enough to make him rush into the other room.
She stood in the center of the living area, a brown envelope at her feet, a crumpled white T-shirt in her hand. He took in her ashen face and the rust-colored stains that covered the shirt.
“Jesus . . .”
She dropped the T-shirt. Beneath the bloody stains, he made out the T-shirt’s inscription. Tenors do it better.
He hurried to her side and picked up the envelope. It was postmarked San Francisco with no return address. Had whoever mailed this been in San Francisco when they were there? Had they been watching her?
She pressed her fingers to her lips and stared down at the T-shirt. “Adam . . . He . . . must have been wearing this when he shot himself. I—I gave it to him.”
Thad knelt down and examined the T-shirt. “When?”
“What do you mean?”
“How long ago was it? When did you give it to him?”
Her fingers balled into a fist. “I—I don’t remember exactly. Not long after we started dating.” She turned away.
“Did he wear it much?”
She gave a jerky nod.
He picked up the T-shirt and came to his feet. She recoiled as he held out the shirt. “Look at the tag, Liv.”
She recoiled. “Get it away from me.”
“Look at it.”
Her shoulders heaved, but she finally did as he demanded. “I don’t see—” She broke off as she saw what he saw. The T-shirt’s tag was stiff and crisp. It had never been washed.
“This isn’t his shirt,” she said as the realization struck her. “It’s never been washed, and the size is wrong. It looks like the shirt I gave him, but this isn’t it.”
“Somebody is playing a nasty mind game with you.”
They both jumped as a knock sounded on the door. A bellman stood on the other side with a gift basket so large he’d brought it up on a cart. Emerging from the cellophane were two bottles of champagne, a pair of crystal glasses, and an assortment of gourmet cheeses, nuts, crackers, and designer chocolates.
The bellman wheeled in the cart. “Compliments of Mr. Rupert Glass.”
8
The next night, Thad propped himself against the pillows in his bed with the doors open between their suites and his mind switching between insights he didn’t want to examine too closely, the fake bloody T-shirt, and the gutter. Olivia had appeared at tonight’s client dinner in full diva regalia—shiny, dark hair worn loose, dramatic eye makeup, and crimson lipstick. She’d worn a long, white gown with an Egyptian collar necklace, probably a gift from Rupert. He didn’t ask. With her stilettos, she’d been taller than all the men there but him.
He’d stuffed the T-shirt back into its envelope and tucked the whole thing in the bottom of his suitcase. Out of sight, but not out of mind.
Olivia hadn’t yet turned the light out in her suite. Maybe she was having a hard time falling asleep, too. He slipped on his headphones and pulled up YouTube on his computer. It wasn’t long before he’d found a video of her singing Carmen.
Even people who didn’t know opera knew the melody of its famous song, but now he also knew its name: “Habanera.” And there she was. Commanding the stage. Smoldering in a tatty red dress with her breasts spilling over its low, square neckline like offerings poured from a cornucopia. Dirty bare feet, skin tanned and glistening with sweat, she taunted the men, her skirt swirling around her strong, spread legs, her arms as sinuous as snakes, her tumble of hair roiling and seething around her head. And that voice. That magnificent voice.
He watched one clip and then another. No wonder she was being hailed as the opera world’s premier Carmen. Like Carmen, Liv wouldn’t let any man stand between her and the freedom to live life on her own terms. In the final clip, he saw Don José stab her, watched her die, and wanted to kill the son of a bitch, wanted to rip off his head with his own bare hands.
He shoved his computer aside. He was way too emotional for opera.
*
“You’re ridiculous,” she told him the next afternoon as he sat in the chair by her side, one foot in the water, getting a fucking pedicure. Some of his pals submitted to this affront to all that was masculine, but never him. And yet here he was because he didn’t want her going off alone, not while she was fair game to whoever was out there trying to spook her.
“No reason my toenails shouldn’t be as pretty as the rest of me,” he said.
She attempted to give him the stink eye but spoiled it with a smile. “If your looks matched your personality, you’d be one of those WWE fighters with no neck and a cauliflower nose.”
He ignored the compliment. “I’m surprised you even know what the WWE is.”