His hand brushes mine gently before he takes it firmly in his. He still doesn’t look at me, his blue eyes focusing instead on the sky. I can’t stop looking at him. I want to remember every detail of him when he’s gone. I want to remember what it feels like to be by his side, to feel his warmth, his smell, his love. Maybe I sound cloying, but the love of my life is about to get on a plane, so I have the right to be cheesy.
“Ares?” Apolo’s voice comes from behind us. It has that same sense of urgency and sadness that my voice had when I reminded him it was time to go. Ares takes his eyes off the stars and lowers his head. When he turns to face me, I strain to smile through the tears forming in my eyes, but I fall short. He licks his lips but says nothing, and I know he can’t speak. I know the moment he speaks he will cry, and he wants to be strong for me. I know him so well. He squeezes my hand tightly, and tears escape my eyes.
“I know,” I say simply. He wipes away my tears, holding my face as if it will disappear at any moment.
“Don’t cry.”
I laugh falsely.
“Ask me for something a little easier.”
He gives me a short kiss, but it’s filled with so much emotion that I cry silently again. The saltiness of my tears blends with our kiss.
“Don’t give up on me, love me, chase me, but don’t forget me, please,” he begs.
“As if I could forget you.” I smile against his lips.
“Promise me that this is not the end. That we’ll try until we can’t anymore, until all resources and means are exhausted, until we can say we have tried everything and still try a little further.”
“I promise.”
I wrap my arms around his neck and hug him. He kisses the side of my head.
“I love you so much, Witch.” His voice cracks slightly, and it breaks my soul.
“I love you, too, Greek God.”
When we part, he wipes away his tears quickly, and takes a deep breath.
“I’ve got to go.”
I just nod, tears sliding down my cheeks and falling from my chin.
“You’re going to be a great doctor.”
“And you’re going to be a wonderful psychologist.”
I can feel my face contort as I stifle my sobs. Ares says good-bye to Apolo, Artemis, and his parents. I walk with him toward the security gate. When we reach it, I stop and wipe away my tears.
“Let me know when you get there, okay?”
He nods and lets go of my hand. He joins one of the security lines, then he stops and walks quickly back to hug me one more time.
“I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. You are the love of my life, Raquel, I love you.”
The sobs escape me, so I wrap my hands around his waist.
“I love you too,” my voice breaks. “I love you.”
“Please, let’s fight for this, I know it won’t be easy, I know there will be hard times, but . . . please don’t stop loving me.”
“You won’t . . . you won’t be able to . . . get rid of me so easily,” I tell him with a broken voice. When we separate, I see how red his face is, and the tears on his cheeks. “I promise you, I will always be your stalker.”
He runs his thumb across my cheek.
“And I’ll always be yours.”
I give him a confused look.
“I was stalking you, too, you silly witch.”
“What?”
“We never ran out of internet. I asked Apolo to pretend with me. It was my excuse to talk to you. You’ve always had my attention, Witch.”
I don’t know what to say, idiot Greek god, why did he choose this moment to tell me? Ares takes some bracelets out of his pocket, and I gasp when I recognize them. I made them a long time ago for a school fair, but I couldn’t manage to sell any until a boy bought them all. Had Ares sent that boy? Had he done that for me even when we weren’t speaking to each other? Ares puts a pair of the bracelets in the palm of my hand and closes it.
“You’ve always had my attention,” he repeats with feeling, and that only makes me cry even more.
“Ares . . .”
“I have to go.” He kisses my forehead. “I’ll let you know when I land. I love you.” He gives me a short kiss and disappears through the security door before I can regret not begging him to stay.
With my hand on the transparent windows of the airport, I watch his plane take off and disappear into the sky. I feel like a hole has opened in my heart and it will never close. Maybe it will heal, but the scar will always be there.
Part of me imagines him coming back like in the movies, telling me that he loves me and won’t leave me, but it’s not like that. Real life is crueler than romance movies. I close my hand into a fist over the window.
Good-bye, Greek God.
Ares’s parents and Artemis are already gone, but Apolo remains by my side, weeping openly. The journey back to the house becomes the saddest hour of my life. Apolo and I share a taxi but neither of us speaks. Both of us are absorbed in our own sadness. Trees, houses, people, and cars pass by the window, but I don’t see anything.
I don’t even say good-bye to Apolo when I get out of the car. I walk into my house like a zombie. My room welcomes me with silence. My eyes slip to the window and pain squeezes my chest tightly. My mind teases me, imagining Ares coming through the window smiling, his pretty blue eyes lighting up at the sight of me.
I look at the front of my bed and remember that night I made him hot chocolate and he told me about his grandpa. Ares has grown so much as a person. From an idiot who didn’t value anything to a man who values everything, who finds it easier to express his feelings, who understands that it’s okay to be weak or even cry. I don’t want to take credit for that because no one changes if they really don’t want to change. I was just the push he needed to get started. I sit on my bed without looking at a specific point.
Dani opens the door with a bang. Her gaze meets mine, and that’s all it takes for me to lose control.
“Dani, he’s gone,” I say quietly. She gives me a sad look, moving closer to me. “Really, he’s gone.” I start to cry inconsolably, letting it all out. I feel like a part of me has gone with him, and maybe it has. Dani rushes over, throws her purse on the floor, and hugs me.
“He’s gone,” I keep repeating over and over.
In my best friend’s arms, I cry all night until I fall asleep. I wake up slightly to a text telling me that he has arrived, but after reading it, I just cry myself to sleep again.
Three Months Later
“And then I told him he was an idiot,” I say with the phone in front of me, talking about Joshua. “How could he even think of putting an egg in the microwave?”
Ares laughs, his face encapsulated in my phone screen. We’re Skyping while I’m cooking in the college dorms.
“And that wasn’t the worst of it,” I continue. “He put a pink shirt in the wash with his whites. Guess who only wears pink now?”
“And I thought I’d be the one making the most mistakes with this living alone thing.”
I squint at him. “You burned all the pots in your apartment.”
“I was learning.”
“You don’t even know how to make coffee.”
“You haven’t tried it.”
“Thank God,” I mumble.
Ares scoffs. “Yesterday I made pasta, it was a little sticky but edible.”
“Look who’s here,” I show him a stuffed witch he gave me when we met at Thanksgiving break a few weeks ago. “She’s my roommate.”
“Speaking of roommates. Where’s Dani?”
“At a frat party.”
“And Joshua?”
“At the same party.”
“Your roommates are at a party, and you’re here talking to your boyfriend, so loyal.”
“Parties have never been my thing.” I sigh. I lick my finger to taste the soup I’m preparing. “Mmm, it’s delicious.”
“I wish I was that finger.”
“Ares!”
“What? I miss you, Witch. I’m going to die from a lack of love and sex.”
I roll my eyes. “Only you can be romantic and sexual at the same time.”
“I need the Christmas break to come.” He runs his hand over his face. “You know what we should try?”
“We’re not having phone sex, forget it.”
“I had to try.”
“But if you behave yourself, I might send you a sexy photo,” I tell him. He gives me that cheeky grin I like so much.
“Oh, well, fair enough.”
“Christmas is a week away. I’ll stick to you like bubblegum. You know that, don’t you?”
“I love bubblegum then.”
“Are you flirting with me?”
He bites his lower lip. “Is it working?”