“Thank you.” All I do is thank him.
“Maybe you two should go and talk.” Another voice comes from the corridor. It’s Fangli, wearing a determined expression and holding a bouquet of daylilies.
“Fangli?”
She looks over my shoulder to Mom. “I talked to Dad today. Just now.” Her voice wavers. “It’s true, what you said. He won’t tell me the whole story but I don’t want to lose any more time with my mother.”
“I understand.”
“I should have told you before I came but…” Her voice trails off. “I wasn’t thinking.”
I give her a hug. “She’s your mother, too.”
Mom has already risen out of her chair, her arms outstretched and her face alight. Both of us go and embrace her. “You look like my little girl,” she whispers. Then she begins to speak in Mandarin. Thanks to my app, I’m getting better but Sam has to translate because although Fangli opens her mouth, no words come out.
“She thinks Fangli simply looks like her daughter,” he whispers. “She doesn’t know.”
Even as he speaks, Mom’s expression changes and she opens her eyes wide, her gaze fluttering between me and Fangli. “My girl?” she whispers.
“It’s me,” Fangli whispers. “Me.”
Mom looks at me, and I give Fangli a hug. “It’s her, Mom. We found each other,” I say. “And now she’s found you.”
“My baby.” Mom’s shaking, groping at her neck for her pendant, which she clutches in her hand. “I’m sorry, my baby. Qing yuan liang wo.”
“Forgive me,” Sam murmurs in my ear.
My new sister doesn’t take her hungry eyes off our mother. “Please, let me have some time alone with her,” Fangli says. Mom looks happy so I only hesitate for a moment. Sam tugs my hand to lead me out into the hallway and then outside.
“I don’t want to go too far,” I say. Not with my family there.
“We can stay right here.” He brings me to a small, empty playground to the side of the home, a place for visiting grandchildren to play.
Now that I’m with him, I don’t know what to say. He saves me.
“I never thought it was you who called ZZTV,” he says.
“I know now.” I rub my cheek. Sam managed to tell me about his feelings. I can be as brave. “I was hurt you thought it was me, even though it was only in my head.”
“I’m sorry.” Sam sits down on the bottom of the wide slide and I join him. “I knew how I felt about you was different, but I never made it clear enough.”
“I never knew where I stood with you, whether you were acting or not.”
“Tell me what I can do to make you trust me. I’ll do it.”
I bump my head into his shoulders. “You already did when you came here today.”
He wraps his arms around me. “I missed you. Missed talking to you.” He runs a finger over my lower lip. “Missed kissing you.” A small kiss drops on my temple.
“It’s been a while.”
“Seventeen days,” he says promptly, then goes red when I look at him. “I mean, about that.”
“Give or take?”
“I was counting each day. Sue me.” Another kiss, this time on my hair.
“You were supposed to be in China.”
“I went to talk to my mother.”
“Fangli mentioned it.”
He leans against me. “It was quite the event and, as you know, culminated with her telling the media I was marrying Fangli.”
I know it’s not true but the memory of the feelings I had when I thought it was remain and they sting.
He twists around to look at me. “We’re not. I love Fangli, but as one of my truest friends.”
“I know,” I assure him. Although Fangli told me the same thing, hearing it from Sam hits deeper and releases the last bit of doubt I didn’t know I had.
We sit in silence for a moment, watching as a gray squirrel runs by, fluffy tail undulating. “Cute,” he murmurs.
It is, especially when it stops to look at us, but I’m not here to admire tree rodents. “How are you doing?” I ask.
“Good,” he says with some surprise. “It was…frightening.” He goes red. “A stupid thing to say.”
“No, I get it.” I did, too. Lili is no Todd, but there can be people in our lives who take on more of a presence and influence than they deserve. “How is she now?”
“She won’t speak with me, but my father agreed with me. She’s furious at us both.” His dimples show in a wry smile. “She’ll understand one day. I hope.”
I tuck myself under his arm. “You did good.”
“Not as good as you with Eppy.”
“Thanks to you.”
He shrugs. “No one would have cared if it didn’t work. It does. You were great on the interviews.”
“You saw them?”
“Of course. In part because I couldn’t miss them. You were everywhere.”
I grin. “I know.” There goes keeping under the radar and not taking risks. “Robin Banerjee called. I don’t have to find a job. I can work on Eppy because he’s funding me.”
Sam whoops. “I knew he would. That’s my Gracie.”
His Gracie. I probably like the sound of that more than I should.
“You’ll be busier.” He runs his hand over my hair.
“You’re one to talk,” I point out. “Don’t you leave to shoot a movie soon?”
“Yeah.” He coughs. “Hey. Do you think you can add one more task into your Eppy list?”
“Like what?”
“A relationship? I’m thinking in the long-term plans section.”
I look at him.
“I want to give us a chance,” he says. “Sam and Gracie.”
“You’re a movie star.”
“Sure am.”
“Surrounded by beautiful people.”
“Like the woman I’m with now. Should I point out you’re a CEO, surrounded by brilliant people?” He shrugs. “I trust you, Gracie. Do you trust me? Trust that what I feel for you is real?”
He pulls back completely like he doesn’t want to sway my answer. I grab him because I know. “I trust you.”
“Plus, I like that you’re a CEO.” He puffs out his chest. “A good ego boost for me.” He catches my eyes. “Don’t say it,” he warns.
“Not like you need it.”
“You said it.” He shakes his head.
I want this. His chest is pressed against me and I can feel his heart pound against my skin. It’s fast.
Despite the light tone, he’s nervous, too.
I take a chance. “I think I want to try. You and me. Let’s do it.”
“A ringing endorsement.” He leans in. “I’ll take what I can get from you.”
My lips capture his and I feel him smile against my mouth.
He pulls back. “I’m so glad you walked into that coffee shop.”
“Me, too, even though that muffin was terrible.”
He laughs and strokes my hair. This time, when he kisses me, I know it’s absolutely all for me.
THE END
Reading Group Guide
1. Gracie is biracial and at times struggles with other people’s perception of what that means. What preconceptions do you think you have about biracial identity, or what do you see in the media? How do you react when people discuss experiences that may not be familiar to you?
2. The author is also biracial. How much of an author’s experience do you think is incorporated into a book? Would you feel different about a book if the author is writing about an experience they have not had first-hand?
3. Gracie has a particular fondness for lists and organizational methods. Is this something you find useful in your own life? Which of the various methods Gracie explores would you most be interested in trying?
4. Gracie and Sam’s mothers have different philosophical approaches to life: one cautious and one assertive. How has this impacted Gracie and Sam?
5. Why do you think it was so important for Gracie to get her mother into Xin Guang? What would you be willing to do in Gracie’s place?
6. Gracie finds a moment of empowerment when she ditches her attempts to blend in and chooses her own specific power red lipstick—a shade distinct from Fangli’s. Is there a personal token (whether it’s makeup or some other item) that makes you feel powerful? What do you think it is that gives you that feeling?