But he wasn’t gone when she came back. Not completely at least. He was gone from the living room—an empty coffee cup the only sign of his presence. But as she opened the door to the set, the sound that greeted her from behind April’s door was the unmistakable one of two people having sex.
Hannah found herself wincing as she tiptoed across the living room to her own door. Once safely inside her bedroom she shut the door and turned on the radio, a notch louder than necessary.
She had been planning to take a ten-second shower, then work on an essay in her room. Instead she showered, left her towel hanging on a peg in the communal bathroom, and went straight down to breakfast with wet hair and scrubbed face.
But to her surprise, when she walked through the door to the Hall, Will was there, eating a full English.
He saw her as she came in and waved a fork.
“Hannah! Over here!”
He had nearly finished, she saw, and as she moved across to him, frowning and trying to figure out how he had gotten down here so fast, let alone finished the best part of eggs, bacon, sausages, mushrooms, and beans, he swallowed a mouthful and spoke.
“Could I be cheeky and get you to grab me another coffee if you’re going up?” He held out his empty cup.
Hannah took it, feeling slightly dazed.
“Um… sure.”
She had turned half away from the table when she remembered something and turned back.
“Sorry, how do you take it again? I should know but—”
“Black, no sugar. Thanks.”
Hannah nodded and moved away to join the queue at the hatch, but she could not shake the feeling of unease as she stood there, Will’s still-warm cup in her hand, waiting to be served.
Had she been in the shower longer than she thought? Or…
But no. That was ridiculous. Will was… well, if not April’s boyfriend, at least a significant fixture in her life—and she had seen him going into April’s room herself that very morning. She had made a mistake, that was all. Just a silly mistake.
AFTER
In the restaurant, Hannah looks at her phone again, gnawing at a breadstick. Wednesday night is date night—it always has been, virtually since she and Will moved in together, when they realized that between book events for Hannah and accountancy exams for Will, they needed to carve out time for each other. For the first few years it was nothing fancy—fish and chips on summer evenings in Prince’s Street Gardens, the castle glowing red-gold in the sunset and the hills shining in the distance. Popcorn and a movie at the Edinburgh Filmhouse, then McDonald’s on the way home. Lately, as Will has moved up the ranks at Carter and Price, the restaurants have become nicer—and tonight’s is one of their favorites, a cozy little Italian place tucked along one of the winding medieval lanes leading down from the Grassmarket, not far from Tall Tales.
But Will is late, and now, as Hannah stares down at the menu she knows practically by heart, pregnancy hunger growling in her stomach, she notices the prices for perhaps the first time since they started coming here. It’s… not cheap. In fact, tonight is going to set them back about the same amount as their weekly supermarket shop. They are going to have to cut back when the baby comes.
“Can I get you anything to drink or are you still waiting for your companion?” says the waiter, passing her table with his order pad in hand. Hannah is just about to reply when a tall figure appears behind the waiter’s shoulder.
“Will!” Relief washes over her.
“Sorry,” Will says, half to her and half to the waiter. “I’ll order fast, I promise. Can you come back in five?”
The waiter nods and departs, and Will bends to kiss her. As his lips, still cool from the crisp evening air outside, meet hers, she closes her eyes, feeling her body go liquid with it—that need that never goes away, that still unbelieving realization that Will is her husband.
“I love you.” The words come out in spite of herself, and he smiles, holding on to her hand as he takes his seat, his strong fingers linking with hers as he picks up the menu with his free hand, scanning the specials.
He is her kryptonite, she thinks as she watches him read, one thumb absently stroking the back of her hand. She has never told him this, but she knows how Superman feels when they brandish the green sticks in his face, the way his strength deserts him and his limbs go weak, because she feels exactly the same way when Will touches her. Dazed. Stupid. Meltingly soft. And it has always been so, ever since that first day in the hall at Pelham. He has always had that power over her. Sometimes the realization makes her almost afraid.
After they have ordered, Will runs his hands through his black hair, making it stick up like a hedgehog’s spines, and sighs.
“I’m sorry I’m late. Massive cock-up with a client account that needed sorting and I couldn’t really run out.”
“It’s fine,” she says, because it is now that he’s here. “I get it. Now isn’t the time to be coasting, what with the partnership thing.”
“I know, but today of all days…”
“I’m fine. I didn’t sit at home all day moping. I went to the park, then the cafe. I talked to Mum—she’s going to come for a visit sometime, bring some maternity clothes. And, well, actually—” She pauses. For some reason the words don’t quite come naturally. “I, um… I also talked to Emily.”
“Emily?” Will raises an eyebrow. She’s not sure if he’s surprised or just… making conversation.
“Yes. She called me, in fact—she’d seen the news. Did you know she was back in Oxford?”
“Yes, I told you, remember? I heard it from Hugh.”
Hugh is the one person from college they both still see regularly. He and Will are best friends—have been since they were little prep school boys in short trousers, and perhaps because of that, their bond survived the earthquake of April’s death. It helps that Hugh also lives in Edinburgh, in a beautiful bachelor’s flat in the elegant Georgian quarter near Charlotte Square. He and Will play cricket for a local team in the summer months, and Hugh comes into the bookshop most Saturdays, buying whatever literary hardback the Sunday Times has recommended. The three of them meet up for dinner or brunch every few weeks.
But until today she had no idea that Hugh and Emily were in contact at all. They weren’t even particular friends at Oxford—they hung around together because Will was dating April, and Hannah was April’s roommate, and Emily liked Hannah. But beyond that, they had nothing in common. Hugh was shy and bookish, and thirteen years at an all-boys’ school had left him awkward around girls. Emily was sharp and spiky with absolutely no time for the kind of old-fashioned courtesies Hugh had been brought up to think were necessary when dealing with women.
“Emily said he’d been down for the Gaudy,” Hannah says now. “It’s weird, I would never have put them down for the ones to keep in touch.”
“I know.” Will takes a breadstick and crunches it meditatively. “They were never that close at Pelham. In fact I always got the impression she thought he was a bit of a joke.”
“He is a bit of a joke,” Hannah says, but not unkindly; she doesn’t mean it as a put-down. It’s just that Hugh is… well, he’s Hugh. Posh, floppy hair, smudged glasses. He’s Dead Poets Society crossed with Four Weddings and a Funeral—everyone’s caricature of a public school boy grown up.