Something very scandalous has transpired on Hulbert Avenue. Rumor has it that Michael Bick, husband of Heidi Bick and the father of four, had an affair with their next-door neighbor Lyric Layton, and Lyric is now pregnant. This story is so salacious that Blond Sharon will be able to dine out on it all summer long. Apparently, Heidi Bick found Lyric’s eye shadow in her makeup drawer, Lyric’s René Caovilla stilettos in her closet, and Lyric’s positive pregnancy test inside the Jennifer Weiner novel Good in Bed. (Is there symbolism in this choice of book? There must be!) Heidi invited the Laytons over for dinner on the deck, faking normality, but as soon as the first cocktail was poured, she confronted Michael and Lyric. It was a surprise attack so they couldn’t confer and get their stories straight. Whoa, did this cause an uproar—mostly from Ari Layton, who had been mentally keeping track of how many times Michael checked out his wife these past few years. Ari had always suspected a flirtation between his wife and Michael but he was enraged to find out it was something far more. Ari had been so happy about Lyric’s pregnancy (he was hoping for a little girl after three boys), but what if it turned out it wasn’t his baby? Ari stood up, fists at the ready.
Both Michael and Lyric vehemently denied the accusation. They had never been together in any capacity, nor would they ever. Lyric was appalled that Heidi thought so little of her. She wasn’t sure what her eye shadow, shoes, and pregnancy test were doing in the Bicks’ house, but for the record, if she were having an affair with Michael, she wouldn’t be stupid enough to leave those things behind!
Here, we had to admit, she had a point.
Michael claimed he was being set up. It was probably someone from his office who had found out he and Rafe were starting their own company. They’d sent a spy into the house. The guy who came to fix the internet, perhaps?
Ari said, “But how would anyone from your company get into our house? How would he know to take the eye shadow, shoes, and pregnancy test, which he must have found in our trash?”
Right, we thought. It made no sense.
Lyric was, by all accounts, calm but emphatic. She was happy to have the paternity of the baby tested as soon as that was an option. Michael, however, kept spewing conspiracy theories and generally acting like a man with a guilty conscience.
This made us wonder.
There has also been a shake-up at the Deck, one so disruptive that the restaurant announces a temporary emergency closing on Sunday, July 17. The Deck hasn’t closed on a summer Sunday in fifteen years of operation. What is going on?
Romeo down at the Steamship Authority reports that he saw Christina Cross driving her bright orange Jeep onto the ferry, her belongings packed to within inches of the roof. It’s Romeo’s job to regulate that kind of thing—drivers are supposed to have a foot of visual clearance out the back window—but when Romeo approaches the car, he sees Christina is sobbing, so he waves her on. He has been doing this job for decades and knows a heartbroken woman leaving the island for good when he sees one.
Christina has left the Deck. Is that why they closed? Yes and no. Christina could easily be replaced by Peyton as hostess and Goose as sommelier. But Goose, who is JJ’s closest confidant, tells his sister Janice, the dental hygienist, that JJ closed the Deck so that he could take a “personal day”—which involved a case of Cisco beer, a couple of three-way sandwiches from Yezzi’s food truck, and a ride with Goose out to Great Point to fish. He told Goose that Christina had left, but that wasn’t the problem. The problem, JJ said, was that he had gotten mixed up with Christina in the first place.
“I had the best woman I could have asked for,” JJ said. “Lizbet was my friend, my confidante, someone I knew I could spend the rest of my life with. And I blew it.”
“You blew it,” Goose agreed.
17. Hot-Girl Summer
Business at the Hotel Nantucket has picked up considerably! Grace notes this with delight, and although it feels immodest to say, she knows it’s all thanks to her. By the end of July, every room at the hotel is booked. Word has gotten out that the hotel is haunted by the ghost of Grace Hadley and everyone wants to experience the phenomenon. This is Grace’s fifteen minutes of fame, and she can’t afford to squander it. She’s very busy in the nighttime hours making benign room visits. She knocks on walls, flickers the lights, messes with the electric shades (this is so much fun), and plays the guests’ favorite songs out of nowhere.
These shenanigans delight the guests, but Grace begins to worry that cheap stunts will dilute her brand. Can she put her powers to better use? Yes! For example, seventeen-year-old Juliana Plumb wants to come out to her parents. They’re staying in suite 314 and they’ve just had a lovely dinner at the Languedoc Bistro. As they were walking down the hallway toward their suite, Mr. Plumb teased Juliana about the cute busboy who had been flirting with her at dinner. Juliana looked uncomfortable, and Grace knows exactly why.
She watches Juliana stare at herself for a long time in the bathroom mirror after brushing her teeth. Grace marvels at how wonderful it is that one can just state one’s sexual orientation and preferences in 2022. Back in 1922, well…Grace had a feeling that the hotel’s GM, Mr. Leroy Noonan, preferred gentlemen, but he could never have said it. He was more “closeted” than Grace was!
Grace follows Juliana as she knocks on her parents’ bedroom door.
“Come in,” Mrs. Plumb says.
Juliana and Grace enter. Grace hovers close to Juliana, providing as much warmth and support as she can muster.
“I’m gay,” Juliana says.
The Plumbs seem…taken aback. Mr. Plumb clears his throat; he exchanges glances with Mrs. Plumb. Grace nudges Mr. Plumb toward his daughter, and Mr. Plumb gets the hint and holds out his arms. “Juliana,” he says. “We love you, sweetie.”
“Thank you for trusting us enough to tell us,” Mrs. Plumb says. “We’ll support you any way we can.”
My work here is done, Grace thinks, leaving the Plumbs to a group hug.
Grace discovers that the Elpines in room 203 have been experiencing some problems in the bedroom and that they’re taking this vacation to “spice things up” and “reignite the romance” in their marriage. But despite the mood lighting and the fine linens, Grace reads the room and senses the Elpines are headed for disappointment—and, very likely, some counseling.
She positions herself just so in front of the full-length mirror and within Mr. Elpine’s line of vision. Is he supernaturally sensitive? Let’s hope so, for Mrs. Elpine’s sake. Grace blows cold air toward Mr. Elpine and opens her robe. He looks over Mrs. Elpine’s shoulder, and his eyes widen. It turns out that being watched by a beautiful, young, and naked female ghost is just the thing to cure Mr. Elpine of his chronic issue. Grace slips out, leaving the Elpines to get down to business.
Kimber goes to the Darya Salon at the White Elephant and returns with her hair dyed flame orange. Richie loves it, Wanda and Louie are nonplussed, and Doug the dog barks so sharply when he sees her that Kimber has to put on his muzzle (Grace is not unhappy about this). Now, nearly every night after the Blue Bar closes and Adam heads home, Kimber slips down the hall to the lobby to visit Richie. Their fooling around has gotten too serious for them to stay out in the open in the lobby—what if a guest should appear or one of the children wander down?—so they are constantly looking for more private places to be together.
Kimber suggests the fourth-floor storage closet, but thankfully, Richie shoots this idea down. “It’s spooky,” he says. He thinks they should go out to the adult pool and get busy on one of the extra-wide chaise longues. They try this, but although the chaises are sturdy, they aren’t that sturdy, and Kimber complains about the mosquitoes. Kimber tries to lure Richie down to her suite but Richie is concerned about the children. They finally consummate the relationship in the break room. When Richie plays Marvin Gaye on the jukebox, Grace knows what’s coming and floats out.
The break room becomes the regular site of their sneaky links. Grace notices that after Kimber heads back to her suite, Richie often falls asleep on the sofa, then jolts awake like he’s being chased (Grace has nothing to do with this; she suspects it’s his conscience at work). Sometimes he sits for long periods with his head in his hands; sometimes he goes into Lizbet’s office, opens the safe, and stares at the piles of Kimber’s cash (though Grace is happy to report he doesn’t take a single dollar). He stays at the hotel until the birds begin to sing, then he slithers out the side door like a cat burglar.
Kimber tells Richie that she has to go off-island overnight the following week to meet with her divorce attorney, and she doesn’t want to take the children with her. She asks Richie if there’s any way he can sleep in her suite after he’s finished work and spend the two days that Kimber will be away with the children.