“Oh my God.” Fiona rushes toward me, yanking me out of Dillon’s arms and squeezing me to death.
“Eh, Fi. You might want to let Vivien breathe, or she won’t live long enough to make your dresses.” Shane appears behind his fiancée. “Thank you,” he tells me.
“It’s my pleasure.”
Fiona gives me the measurements for her sister and Ash, who are the only bridesmaids, and little Chloe’s measurements. They try to give me money for supplies, but I won’t hear of it. “Consider it my wedding gift to you.”
Dillon hauls me back against his chest, almost smothering me like his soon-to-be sister-in-law. “That was unbelievably generous. Thank you so much. I’m in awe of you.” Before I can respond, he kisses me passionately, holding me tight in his arms, surrounding me with his love. When we break our lip-lock, he doesn’t let go, his protective arms keeping me close to his chest. Cath smiles at us, leaning her head on her husband’s shoulder.
We leave a short while later. Ro isn’t coming back to the city as he has to stay home to study. His Leaving Certificate exams are only eight days away, and his parents are refusing to let him play with the band until after the exams are over. The second we pull away from the house, Dillon levels Ash with a fierce look through the mirror. “Start talking.”
I toss a sympathetic look over my shoulder at her. Her hands are knotted in her lap, and she looks like she’s sweating bullets. “I told Ma and Da that Cillian showed up unannounced and he was trying it on. I said I stupidly kissed him, you found us and then went apeshit on his arse.”
“What really happened, Ash?” Dillon growls, pulling out onto the road.
She gulps nervously. “Mostly that. He appeared in the orchard. I told him to go. He begged me to talk to him. I took him around the side of barn so no one would see us. He said he still loves me and he’d leave her for me.”
“Jesus Christ, Ash.” Dillon rubs his temple.
“I knew it was bullshit. I know he won’t leave her even if he is as miserable as he says he is.”
“Why the hell did you let him fuck you then?” he barks, and tears spill down Ash’s cheeks. Running my hand along his thigh, I urge him to calm down with my eyes. He blows air out of his mouth, visibly pulling in the reins. “I shouldn’t have shouted at you. I’m sorry. I’m just worried, Ash. He’s bad news. Look what happened the last time.” His voice cracks.
“Pull over,” I say. His eyes lock on mine. “Pull over and let me drive. I only had three pulls on that joint, and one glass of wine at dinner, and it was hours ago. I’m not drunk or stoned. You get in the back and talk with your sister.” He doesn’t argue, pulling to the side of the road, and we swap around. When we take off again, the conversation resumes, and I listen as I drive us home, casting quick glances in the mirror at them every so often.
“I’m sorry, Dil. I’m so, so sorry.” Ash cries into his shoulder.
“Shush.” He hugs her tight. “You don’t have to apologize. But I do need you to promise me you’ll stay away from him. He’s a selfish prick to keep preying on your emotions like this. He had his chance with you, and he blew it. Tough shit if he’s not happy. That’s all on him.”
She sniffles, nodding.
“He’s not good for you, Ash,” Dillon continues. “You deserve so much better than Cillian.” Our eyes lock through the mirror as he repeats the words he said to me, a little over an hour ago. “You deserve better than Jamie too,” he adds, shocking both me and his sister.
Poor Ash. She looks like she’s going to throw up. “You know?” she croaks. He nods. “How?”
“I’ve had my suspicions since last summer. I asked him once, and he denied it, so I let it go.” Dillon looks briefly out the window as I pull out onto the highway. “I warned him off you, and I probably shouldn’t have done that.” He looks back at his sister. “I just wanted to protect you. You were vulnerable, and I didn’t want anyone else to hurt you. Jamie is sound, but I’m not sure he has it in him to do the relationship thing.”
“No one thought that about you either, and now look at you,” Ash says, peering up at him.
Dillon smiles softly at me. “Valid point.” I return his smile, wishing I could kiss him right now. Dillon looks at his sister again. “Which is why when he asked me this morning if he could go out with you, I said I wasn’t the one he should be asking.”
Ash jerks her head up. “Wait! He told you about us? This morning?”
Amusement lingers in Dillon’s tone. “Yes, this morning when I went home to get changed.”
“Oh God.” Ash buries her head in her hands. “I’m such an idiot. I was feeling low and upset after our argument last night, and that dickhead Cillian played on my vulnerabilities. Jamie won’t want anything to do with me when he finds out.”
“Ahem.” I clear my throat. I’m not having that. “Jamie’s been fucking Aoife and God knows who else for months.” I hate double standards.
“He hasn’t been with her since April,” Ash says. “We’ve only been with each other, and it was an unspoken rule that it stays like that.” She has a point, and she shouldn’t have fucked anyone else, especially not her cheating ex, but Jamie hasn’t been a saint either. He’s hurt her, and it’s clear Ash’s broken parts aren’t mended—they’re only glued together. I’m going to suggest she sees my therapist when we’re alone. Sheila has really helped me to process my feelings and move on, and I think Ash could use her support too.
“You weren’t officially going out,” Dillon says. “And it’s only an issue if you tell him. I don’t see that he needs to know.”
“You mean you’re not going to tell him?” Her jaw slackens.
He shakes his head. “I’m not.” His mouth curls into a lopsided grin. “Don’t look so shocked, Ash. You’re my sister.”
“But he’s your best friend.”
“He is, but you’re my sister. If it comes to sides, I’m always on yours.”
“Well, what’s the impression of your first Irish wedding?” Dillon asks, twirling me around the dance floor of the ballroom of the gorgeous hotel just outside Gorey, County Wexford.
“It’s been magical. You can just feel the love in the air.” I beam up at him, throwing my head back as he spins me around.
He chuckles, pulling me in close to his chest. “You’re such a romantic.” His arms encircle my waist.
I swat his chest. “Says the man who sang a song he wrote for me at his brother’s wedding.” My throat swells, and I choke up.
“Oh God. Don’t cry again,” he says, looking genuinely panicked.
My lower lip wobbles, and happy tears well in my eyes. “I still can’t believe you did that.”
Fiona and Shane hired a local band to play at their wedding because they wanted their brothers to enjoy the night, not to have to entertain their guests. However, the band was a good sport and let the guys play a few songs while they took a short break.
Ash barely held me together as Dillon told the whole wedding that “Terrify Me” was a song he’d written for me and about me. Thank God, Ash had the foresight to record it on her cell—and I’m sure the official videographer captured it too—because I was in such shock I didn’t fully appreciate the lyrics or the fact it’s a much softer, more romantic sound for Toxic Gods.
“You must know you’re my muse,” he says, breaking me out of my head.
My heart thuds proudly behind my chest. “I am?”
He nods, sweeping his fingers across my cheek. “I’ve been writing nonstop in that journal you made me. You’re the inspiration behind all my lyrics.”
I found a songwriting journal at a local store, and I crafted a Toxic Gods cover, incorporating their logo, out of crushed velvet. The other guys in the band were so envious I ended up making them similar notepads just to shut them up.