God.
Tossing the package on the couch beside me, I cradle my head in my hands. This is not how I saw today panning out.
“I can open it, if you want,” Ash says, plonking down beside me when she’s finished her call.
I lift my head, staring at the package like it’s a ticking time bomb. I suppose it is, of sorts. “I don’t know if I want to open it at all.” I flick my gaze to my friend. “Why is he doing this?”
“I think he’s regretting his actions and he’s worried he’s lost you for good.”
“You could be right, but I’m not sure I can deal with this today.” Dillon’s gorgeous smile surfaces in my mind’s eye, and my heart jumps in elation. Whatever will happen or not happen with Reeve in the future doesn’t change what’s happening in the present. I swore I wasn’t going to let my ex interfere in my life, and I meant it. Knots loosen in my shoulders as I reach a decision. “I need to contact him and tell him I have a new boyfriend.” I wave my hands around the room, gesturing at the flowers. “This has to stop. It’s not fair to Dillon.”
“It’s not fair on you either. It’s making things harder.”
I nod, exhaling deeply. “It is,” I agree, “and it’s going to end here. But first I need to see what he sent me.” I rip the paper open before I change my mind.
I’m going to give myself to Dillon tonight, and I need to see what’s in this gift to know I can leave Reeve in the past and move forward.
I remove the heavy bubble-wrapped interior package, unpacking it with slightly trembling fingers. Ash scoots in closer to me as I open the leatherbound album. Our names are printed within a love heart on the front, and inside, Reeve has filled the album with memories from our past, from the time we were little right up to now. I don’t dwell on the photos, unwilling to revisit the past today, so I skim through the book until I come to an envelope about halfway through the album. The rest of the pages are blank, and I can guess why.
“Wow. He knows what he’s doing sending you this. It’s the sneakiest form of psychological torture.”
“I know,” I whisper, running my finger under the envelope. I suck in a gasp when I withdraw the card and the recent photo of Reeve. I raise trembling fingers to my lips as my gaze roams over the heart-shaped tattoo with my name inked over Reeve’s chest. The message on the card is short and simple, but it drives his point home:
You’re now imprinted on my skin the same way you’re imprinted on my heart. You’re in my blood, Viv, and that will never change. I miss you. I love you, always yours, Reeve.
At the back of the album is a larger envelope containing architect sketches of a vast property.
“What’s that?” Ash inquires, curiosity overriding her derision.
“It’s our dream home,” I whisper. “We’ve been talking about the kind of house we wanted for years. I’d drawn rough sketches. He must have kept them and commissioned someone to draw these.”
“That’s super intense for being so young,” she murmurs.
“Reeve grew up in an empty house with a father who abandoned him after his mom died. Yes, he spent tons of time at my house, and yes, my parents stepped in to help raise him, but he still spent a lot of time alone in a massive house with only paid staff for company. More than anything, he wanted a home to call his own and a loving family. It’s why we had such grand plans. He always seemed so sure of what he wanted.”
“Pity he didn’t remember that before he threw away what you two had,” Ash scoffs.
Sadness washes over me, and I’m regretting opening the package. I didn’t want to feel this today. Reeve really has upped his game. Usually, he’d buy me diamond jewelry for my birthday, so this is not the norm. I get what he’s trying to do. Remind me of the happy memories and the plans we made for the future. Inking my name on his body isn’t just for me. It sends a clear message to the world. But I can’t forget what he’s done. I think I’m moving into a space where I can forgive him, but forgetting is that much harder.
Reminding me of the plans we made for our future only strengthens my resolve. He threw away everything the first time he was truly tested, and that speaks volumes.
I close the album, smiling sadly. I can’t hold on to this. It will only keep me tethering on the edge of sanity, seesawing between the present and the past.
I need to move on.
I’m ready to move on.
Maybe things might be different in the future. Maybe we both need time apart to fully appreciate what we had. Maybe we need space to experience the world with other people. Maybe we’ll eventually come full circle and find our way back to one another. Or maybe this is the end. All I know for sure is that I want to move forward with Dillon, and I can’t do that while clinging to the past.
I know Reeve didn’t mean for his gift to have this effect, but in a warped way, it’s actually helped. “I’m going to return the gift, and I’ll talk to Ciara downstairs and see if they can use the flowers around the building instead.”
Relief floods Ash’s face, and I realize she was worried on her brother’s behalf. Those two are so close, and I’m slightly envious of their relationship. “That sounds like a plan.” She squeezes my hand. “I’m so proud of you. You are much stronger than I was.”
“You are one of the strongest people I know, and I’m sure that’s not true.”
“What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, right?”
“Damn straight.”
Ash glances at the time on her cell. “We have a couple of hours before the makeup artist and hairdresser get here. We’re low on food, so I was thinking we could run out and stock up now. Trust me when I say you’ll be incapable of doing much of anything over the next two days. The Trinity Ball is hardcore.”
Snagging our jackets and purses, we head out into the city to the nearest grocery store. We grab enough food for the next few days so we don’t have to step foot out of the apartment if we’re as hungover as Ash predicts we’ll be. We’ve just paid for our purchases, when the headline on OK! grabs my attention from a nearby newsstand. My feet move of their own volition, and my heart is pounding erratically behind my chest as I walk toward the magazine stand.
Bile swims up my throat as I stare at the cover of the magazine in horror. The headline reads “Reeveron cozy up with PDA on Mexican beach!” Splashed across the front is a picture of Saffron and Reeve on a sun lounger by the sea. She’s straddling his waist, wearing only a thong, leaning into him with her face angled to the side so her features are clearly visible. Reeve has his hands on her bare ass, and his face is buried in her naked chest. It’s not as easy to discern it’s Reeve from the pic as most of his face and torso are hidden, but I know it’s him. I know his body, and he’s wearing the board shorts I bought him when I was in Europe last summer.
“Fuck.” Ash comes up behind me, sliding her arm around my waist. “What a fucking shithead.”
I pick the magazine up, but Ash snatches it from my hand. “Do you really want to look at that?”
My chest tightens, and tears cling to my lashes.
This is just like Christmas all over again.
Reeve is trying to hide his betrayal behind a grand gesture. Sending me that birthday gift is another attempt at manipulation. But just like Christmas, it won’t work.
“Don’t do it, Viv,” Ash pleads. “All it will do is hurt you even more. That bastard has claimed enough of your tears.”
She is right. I don’t need to see inside to read what’s written or stare at more damning pictures. Swallowing thickly, I nod, placing it back on the stand, letting her drag me out of there before I change my mind.