Disguise those feelings, Charlie.
“Then, show me how good you can be.” With a gentle nudge, he guides his cock to my lips, and I gaze up at him as I run my tongue around the head. The feeling of butterflies assaults my insides at his words and the way he teases me with that tone.
He hums, low and gravelly, as I wrap my lips around him. I play with the head of his cock first, licking into the slit and letting my teeth graze the underside. His hips jolt forward, and I tease him a bit more before letting him slide in deeper.
Relaxing my throat, I pull him in farther and farther each time. Wrapping my hand around the base, I stroke in rhythm with my mouth, moving faster and tighter, waiting for his groans or words of praise. I’m dying to hear his pleasure.
Finally, he lets out a tight, “Oh fuck, Charlotte.”
For that, he gets a reward, and I suck even harder, giving his cock head a little more attention.
He shudders and squeezes a handful of my hair in his grasp. “Keep doing that.” So, I do, moving from the base to the head, twisting and squeezing and practically swimming in the grunts and groans of pleasure my actions are eliciting.
I reach my other hand between his legs and gently knead his sac, watching his expression change as I do. His free hand slams against the wall to hold him upright and his eyes close.
“That’s my girl,” he groans, and I light up inside.
My movements pick up speed, and I know what’s coming when his mouth falls open and his head falls back. “I’m gonna come, baby.”
And maybe that was meant to be a warning, but when I don’t move or take my mouth away, he seems to pick up the hint.
“Are you gonna swallow me down, Charlotte? You gonna take my cum like the dirty girl you are? My dirty girl.”
His voice is strained and he barely gets the last word out before I feel the salty jets hit my tongue. I expect to be grossed out by it, but the minute I taste him, I realize this is him. This is my Emerson, and I want it all. I love everything about him.
So as he fills the back of throat, I eagerly swallow before pulling my mouth off. Strings of cum hang from his cock to my lips when he moves his body, letting the water wash it all away. Then, I’m lifted abruptly from my knees and pressed against the wall.
His hand is under my jaw, pressing my face upward to see his.
“That was so fucking hot,” he says, kissing me. I try to push him away out of fear that he could still taste himself on my tongue, but he doesn’t let me. His mouth assaults mine with fervor. When he pulls away from our kiss, his words come out with conviction. “Just when I think you can’t get any more fucking fantastic, you do. You keep surprising me, Charlotte. And not just with sex. You are so perfect for me, and I do want to keep you forever.”
My mouth falls open as I stare up at him, thinking this is it. The moment he finally tells me he’s going to put me first and tell Beau everything, so he and I can be together for real. For the long term.
But then he buries his face in my neck as he mutters, “God, I wish I could.”
And all of that hope and elation goes down the drain.
RULE #30: GIVE IT ALL TO HER—SHE CAN TAKE IT.
Emerson
“I’m a little embarrassed it took me this long,” Garrett says, as he walks into the back office of the club where I’m going over the numbers from last night.
“To do what?” I ask without looking up.
“To look up your new girlfriend online.”
Well, that gets my attention. My head snaps up, looking at my partner holding out his phone, which is open to Charlotte’s Instagram page. You don’t even have to scroll far to find pictures of her and Beau together. There’s not a single picture of me on there, for obvious reasons, but it still grates on my nerves.
I freeze, looking at the photos and waiting for him to say something.
He puts his phone in his pocket as he says, “I’m certainly not one to judge.”
“That’s good,” I reply coldly.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” When I notice the hurt look on his face, I feel the guilt I probably should have felt two weeks ago.
“No one was supposed to know.”
He lets out a laugh. “Well, you blew that whistle yourself last night when you got in that bidding war with Kade and carted her off the stage like a caveman.”
“I’m aware,” I grumble. “But I don’t need everyone knowing her connection to Beau, so if we could keep that under wraps…”
“You got it,” he says, holding up his hands. As he comes farther into the office, taking a seat in one of the chairs, I know he’s not about to drop the topic. “So, I assume you didn’t mean for this to happen.”
“Of course not.” I lean back in my chair. I’ll admit…it feels good to finally have this out, at least to Garrett. I don’t need the rest of them knowing, but not being able to talk to my best friend has been difficult. Especially in these last two weeks when my feelings for my son’s ex-girlfriend have gotten even more complicated.
I let a lot of things slip yesterday. I was in the moment, and when I’m with Charlotte, I feel as if I can say anything, and that is dangerous, because she suddenly has me telling her I want to fuck her forever.
She must think I’m insane. First, I said it would just be temporary. Then I start showing up at her family’s events and begging to see her on the weekends. Even today, I’m forcing myself to work to keep from texting her.
“So, what happened?” Garrett asks.
“She and Beau broke up. She came over one day looking for a security deposit from their apartment I co-signed for him, and I mistook her for one of the girls you send.”
“Oof,” he says with a grimace.
“Yeah.”
I let a moment linger while I think back to that day, the first moment I saw her in my office, the way she dropped to her knees, how I knew in that moment that this one was different. That in just five seconds flat, I knew she was somehow made for me.
“I offered her the job. I made it very clear that it was just a regular secretary job, but then… I crossed every little line one at a time until we started fucking two weeks ago.”
“Jesus.”
“I know…”
“I assume Beau has no idea.”
“He’s still not really talking to me, but I’ll be honest…after things started up with Charlotte, I haven’t been calling him as much.”
He watches me while I keep my eyes averted, letting this whole shitshow run through my mind again. How did I let this happen? I tried to be so careful. I set strict rules for myself, but she has me breaking all of them.
When I finally look up at him, there’s more sympathy on his face than judgment. “What the fuck is wrong with me?”
“I don’t think anything is wrong with you.”
“But…”
“But…” He shifts in his seat. “I can tell you really like her. Maybe more than like?”
I’m not going to answer that. If I put that thought into words, I’m risking so much. Letting myself believe this thing with Charlotte is more than muddled emotions and hot-as-sin sex makes everything a lot more serious than I intended.
I rub my hand across my forehead. “I do like her. I mean…you’ve seen her.”
He nods, unspoken words clearly on his lips.
“What’s that look for?”
After a moment of deliberation, he lets out a sigh and leans forward. “Emerson, I’ve known you for over a decade. I’ve seen you with a lot of girls. All of them were beautiful. This is different.”
“I know it is, but there’s nothing I can do about it.” I can’t seem to hide the subtle frustration in my voice. He’s pointing out the obvious but failing to see the problem. It’s not as simple as to just admit that I have serious feelings for Charlotte because, no matter what, I can’t have her.
“Why not?”
I have to give my friend a minute of grace because he’s not yet a father, so he has no idea what it feels like. This torment, struggling with the idea of losing my son forever.