“I’m sorry, Jim asked you to do what now?”
I sighed, knowing full well how this conversation would go. My dad knew Jim Grayson personally. He’d been the one to put me in contact with Jim in the first place.
My dad’s company had been a client and hired out guards from them a few years back. I’d be surprised if Jim didn’t wake up in the morning to a strongly worded email from my father.
“He wants to keep me on the back burner so I can take shifts when they have no one else. Just daytime rounds at the community college on the weekend when no one is there.”
“That makes no damn sense, Madison. What in the hell are you supposed to do if you find a man breaking into one of the buildings? You’re not equipped to handle those kinds of situations.”
“Gee, thanks, Dad. That didn’t sound sexist at all.”
“Don’t get smart with me. You know what I meant. You shouldn’t be putting yourself in that kind of situation.” His stern voice echoed out through the speakers of my Jeep while I headed toward Jamie’s school.
“I won’t be the only female guard under their employ.”
“They’re not my daughter. I don’t care about them. With your history—”
“Please don’t go there,” I interrupted, ten seconds from hanging up. I’d called as soon as I left work to talk to my mother and get her opinion on taking an extra weekend shift, but my dad had been the one to answer.
“I need to go, Dad, I’m almost to Jamie’s school. Just tell Mama I called and have her call me later if she has the time.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll tell her, but you and I are going to talk about this more the next time you come over for dinner.”
“Love you! Goodbye!”
“Love you too.”
I turned my music up, trying to drown out the thoughts going through my head and failing. It’s not like I wanted to work yet another shift. Saturday was the only day of the entire week that I didn’t work during the day. I was tired enough as it was.
But the worst part was I’d be sacrificing even more of my time with Jamie. I knew he understood, but I hated it more than I could put into words. And who would be with him while I was gone? I couldn’t keep sending him to my parents. They had lives and full-time jobs too. They deserved a break on the weekends.
I tightened my grip on the steering wheel, breathing out slowly, but the more I thought about it, the more that thick, suffocating feeling slid through my limbs, weighing me down. No matter how hard I swam, I couldn’t ever seem to pull myself out of it enough to not let it suck me back in.
I felt the telltale burn of tears, and I blinked rapidly to contain them. The last thing I needed was for Jamie to see I’d been crying. “Keep it together, Madison.”
But the moment the first tear leaked, I lost complete control over all of them. They poured down my face silently, not caring even the slightest about the mascara they were sure to ruin.
I knew who I needed to call. Who would tell me the truth and could help me get my shit together. The only person who could. Not letting myself second-guess it, I clicked on my Bluetooth and voice dialed.
“Well, hey, baby mama.”
“Hey, I’ll be pulling up to Jamie’s school soon so I can’t talk long, but do you have a second?”
“Who do I need to beat up? I can head out first thing tomorrow.”
I laughed, wiping at my face. Leave it to my best friend to instantly know how to pull me out of my funk. “Put down the shank, Jethro. No murdering today.”
“Why does it sound like you’ve been crying?”
Of course, she’d pick up on it right away. I’d known Layla since we were ten. We’d seen each other through our worst phases, our awkward phases, and our too-drunk-to-function phases.
She’d been the one to hold my hand for fourteen hours while I gave birth. She knew what I sounded like when I screamed, when I laughed, when I cried, and when I took a shit. She knew everything. So I wrapped myself in the comfort of our friendship and let myself fall apart a little.
“Am I a bad mom for being gone so much?” I heaved in a shaky breath, ignoring the car stopped next to me at the light. Lord only knows how deranged I looked.
“What? No. Who told you you’re a bad mom for working?”
“No one.” I sniffled, wiping at my nose. “Evaline asked me to take another position which would make me work a few random Saturdays, and I said yes. Not that I had much choice in the matter.”
“You gave up your only day with Jamie?”
“Yes,” I whispered, hating to admit it out loud.
“Who’s going to hang out with him?”
“I’m not sure yet, I’ll probably have to ask my parents.” As much as I didn’t want to ask, I knew they’d do it. They may not have been happy when I wound up pregnant at sixteen, but they loved him with every piece of their hearts.
“Bitch, I’ve told you I’d move there and help you. You know I will.”
“I know.” The line went silent for a minute, apart from her shuffling the phone around.
“Well, I’m pulling into Jamie’s school, so I have to go. I just needed to verbally process my emotions.”
“You still have a spare room?”
“Yeah.”
“Perfect. Call me later and we’ll talk details, but I’m coming. Don’t even try to argue with me. I have nothing important holding me here right now. It’ll cut both our rent payments in half, and I can help watch our son.”
I huffed through my nose, “Layla Davis, I don’t—”
“What’s that you say? You see Jamie walking to the vehicle and can’t argue? No worries, I’ll call you later, bye!” She yelled it all out in the span of a single breath, and then the bitch hung up on me.
I’d squatted down to grab a new soap dispenser from under the sink when I heard the clink of a dish being set on the counter. I twisted to look over my shoulder, “And just what do you think you’re doing?”
His face puckered like he’d stuck an entire lemon in his mouth, and he threw his head back, groaning. “I don’t want to wash the dishes tonight. Not having a dishwasher sucks.”
“Do you know what you sound like right now?” I asked, narrowing my eyes.
“Ungrateful.”
“Ungrateful.” I agreed. “You have dishes. You have food. You have running water.”
He looked at his feet, shuffling them back and forth. I knew he hadn’t meant it that way, he was just a kid who didn’t want to do a chore, but I also didn’t want him growing up not appreciating everything we had.
“You have two choices, bud, you can wash the dishes, or you can clean your room. I stepped on no less than four building blocks the last time I walked in there.”
“I’ll clean my room,” he said over me, already halfway out of the kitchen. Looking at the pile in the sink, I decided he had the right idea.
I let out a heavy breath, I didn’t want to wash the damn dishes either. Promising myself I’d do them before bed, I decided to take advantage of Jamie being busy and poured myself a glass of wine from the half-empty box in the fridge. Closing the door as quietly as I could, I stepped out onto the porch.
“Leave me the hell alone.”
The words were spat out so harshly, I reared back, plastering my back against my front door. I stood there frozen, hand clenching my cup, eyes darting around the dark to find the source.
“I don’t really fucking care, Courtney.”
It was then I noticed the small red glow of a cigarette out in the neighbor’s driveway and made out the outline of his body, pacing back and forth near his Nova.
“I. Don’t. Care. Have a nice life, or don’t. Preferably the latter.” He ripped the phone away from his ear and took a deep drag of his cigarette.
I wasn’t even the woman he’d been yelling at, but I felt just as small and exposed as if I were. What was it about men that made them believe their size gave them permission to talk to women that way?