I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him even closer until the entire top half of his body covered my own. I slanted my mouth, opening for his tongue to dive in. I was a flame, pure star fire straight from space, ready to explode and take the earth with me. I dug my nails into the muscles of his shoulders, drowning in the feel of his tongue and full lips.
He pulled away, just far enough to drag his mouth down my jaw, leaving hot, searing kisses in his path before dropping to my neck. He nipped and sucked along one side and then the other until I was a panting, heaving mess. Then he was back at my mouth, opening me up and stealing every last piece of my soul.
It wasn’t enough. I wanted his skin painted against my own, I wanted to hear him groan in my ear and feel his breath ghost across my skin. And I didn’t just want it now. I wanted it every damn day.
It was that thought that had me coming to my senses, dowsing me in cold water. I tried to pull away, but the hand on my neck tightened, keeping me in place.
I sighed against his mouth, “Garrett.”
His lips pressed to mine again, then again, growing softer each time. Once. Twice. Four times. Finally, he retracted his hand from my neck, resting his forehead on mine and brushing his hands over the curve of my shoulders.
“I knew tasting your lips would be amazing, but if I’d have known it’d be fucking life altering, I’d have kissed you a long time ago.”
I dropped my hands to rest on his chest. “This doesn’t change anything, Garrett. It doesn’t change my past or my head or mean I’m suddenly fixed.”
His eyes zeroed in on me. “You don’t need to be fixed. I’m not expecting you to throw out your past like it never happened. I just don’t want it to be forefront in your mind when we’re together. I want you to feel safe to fight with me.”
He shook his head, breaking eye contact and staring at my hands. “You’re a fucking treasure, Maddie. A goddamn crown jewel, and everyone who meets you sees it, including your bar friend. I saw you sitting out there tonight with him, and my jealousy got the best of me. I can’t stand the thought of another man claiming you before I’m able to make you mine.”
Could your heart grow too large for your chest? I raised a hand and let my fingers rest against his cheek, already wanting to bring his lips back to me.
“There’s no other man, Garrett. Not yesterday, not today, and not tomorrow. I just need time.”
He closed his eyes and sighed, kissing my palm. “I can’t promise I’ll survive it, but I’ll back off until you’re ready. Just tell me when, baby, I’ll be here.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
She gaped at me. “I’m sorry, he did what?”
I didn’t repeat the story, instead knocking my head back to down my wine. Snagging the bottle next to her, I poured another ungodly full glass, emptying the bottle and licking the dribble from the neck.
Yep, I’d splurged and purchased an actual bottle the following morning. What could I say, I was having a crisis.
“Then what happened?”
“We both went home. Our own homes. Alone.”
Layla stared at me with wide, unblinking eyes. It was rare to see her speechless. “He said all that to you, and you just went home?”
It was one of my more cowardly moments, for sure. I balanced my glass between two of my fingers, twirling it back and forth, wondering if I should actually eat lunch. “Yep.”
“What in the hell is wrong with you? He’s a catch. A good one, Mads. And Jamie loves him. He’s always talking about him and asking if he’s coming over.”
I set my glass down and pushed it away from me. I needed to get my shit together and be an adult. My shift tonight wasn’t going to disappear just because I’d kissed the man I was in love with and chose to have wine for a meal.
“I know he is, but it’s not fair to him or Jamie for me to jump in before knowing it’ll work out.”
“No one goes into a relationship already knowing it’ll work out. That’s literally the point of dating.”
I grumbled, passing by her position at the bar and throwing myself face-first onto the couch. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be dating material, Layla. I’m a mess.”
She followed, plopping down on top of my ass. Both dogs jumped up from their positions on the floor, excited for a cuddle party, but luckily for my face, she waved them down. I couldn’t help but chuckle at the way they both seemed to huff in disappointment.
She smacked my thigh, “Yeah, you are a mess. A hot fucking mess, to be exact. But that doesn’t mean you’re not worth it, nor does it mean you shouldn’t try. You’ve been single for years, Mads. It’s time to take a chance.”
“I don’t just have me to think about. You said it yourself, Jamie loves him. I can’t do that to him. I can’t tease him with the idea of finally having two parental figures in his life only to rip it away if things don’t work out.”
“Just test the waters then.”
I sent a glare her way even though she couldn’t see my face from her perch on top of me. “I can’t sleep with him. We’re neighbors. If we ended up having no chemistry, and he decided he wanted to hit-it-and-quit-it, he wouldn’t be able to. He’d be stuck seeing my face all the time. Hitting-it without the quitting-it part.”
“So, you’re saying there was no chemistry when he kissed you?”
Even smooshed to the couch, a full-grown woman using me as a cushion, I flushed to my toes, replaying Garrett’s kiss for the one millionth time that morning. There’d been more than chemistry, a lot more. I just hadn’t decided what to do about it yet.
Garrett wanted me right now, but would the excitement of being with me fade after he finally fucked me? He claimed to be willing to wait until I was emotionally ready, but how long would he actually be willing to wait before losing interest? Chemistry didn’t automatically equal long-term feelings.
Not to mention, had he really thought through the fact that being with me meant also being with my kid? That was a huge ass commitment for anyone.
I thought about my sweet, protective, sassy, oddball child, who was currently at a movie with his grandpa. I couldn’t imagine a single person who wouldn’t enjoy having him around, but I was a tad biased.
Did I want to see Garrett every day? Yes. I wanted to watch him and Jamie argue over video games and wrestle on the floor while Rugsy yapped at them. I wanted him to walk up behind me and kiss me sweetly while I cooked dinner or folded his clothes. I wanted to dote on him and be doted on.
Did I also want to strip his clothes off and see if he could back up his claim to have me seeing stars for the first time? Ab-so-fucking-lutely. Pun intended.
But as I’d learned long ago, life didn’t often work out as smoothly as envisioned. In fact, the train usually went off the rails a few times in the process.
Deciding it was in my best interest to change the subject, I rolled to the side until Layla was propped on my hip rather than my rear.
“He said he left Aaron in a porta-potty.”
She shifted forward toward my head, causing me to grunt and squish deeper into the couch. “As in, sat him on top of it or…”
“Or.”
“Oh my fucking God, that’s it. He’s husband material. I’m serious, I’ll take him if you won’t.”
I shoved her off me, laughing and throwing a pillow down on top of her. “Hearing that would break Rick’s heart.”
“Ugh,” she groaned, sliding onto the floor like a slug. Taking that as their official cue, the dogs leapt up, stepping all over her for snuggles and scratches.
Layla had been trying to gently break things off with Rick for a few days now, but the poor guy wasn’t getting the hint. She cared about him and enjoyed playing music both in and out of the sheets, but he just wasn’t passing the soulmate vibe check.
Rick had professed his love the last time she’d hinted at just being friends, and she was desperately trying to avoid breaking the claws out and scarring his lovesick heart for life.
I chuckled, not feeling the least bit sorry for her. She’d done it to herself, and it was only more proof that I shouldn’t jump into dating Garrett. Because if he broke things off, I already knew I wouldn’t recover.
The truth was, I’d rather feel a tinge of sadness every time I looked at him and couldn’t have him, rather than walk through life with a shattered heart.