We sat either side of the entrance rock, our usual place, the red stone warm against our skin. It was only the third time we’d done this, but already it felt familiar, almost sitting back to back – if it weren’t for the huge stone wedged between us.
We settled down as eagerly as children waiting for a present. The way Perseus had leaped up the path from his boat towards my cave had touched me deeply. Back in my village on the edge of Night, the people had turned on us. Was I crazy to be risking the same happening? Probably, but I had to take the risk. This island was so remote, I might never meet someone like Perseus again.
I closed my eyes, imagining him accepting what I had to tell him, putting his warm arms around me, his hands either side of my face, his mouth offering a kiss …
No, Medusa, I told myself. Remember what Athena said.
‘You said you had something you wanted to tell me?’ Perseus said from the other side of the rock.
‘Yes, except … I don’t know how to say it.’
‘Is something wrong?’
‘What do you know about … Poseidon?’ I said. ‘Other than the fact he saved you from the sea?’
‘Nothing. He probably only did it as a favour to my father. After Mum and I washed up on the shore of Seriphos, I never saw him again.’
‘I knew Poseidon too,’ I said, trying to control my distress. ‘When I was fourteen.’
‘Was it Poseidon who disfigured you?’
‘He noticed me, Perseus. The same way Zeus … noticed your mother.’
‘Oh.’ There was a pause. ‘Right.’
‘Yes. Except I didn’t want to make a bargain. I liked my life as it was. I loved it, in fact. I was happy on the edge of Night. But Poseidon didn’t care about that. He wouldn’t leave me alone. He threatened me until I … promised.’
‘Promised? Promised what?’
‘That’s just it,’ I said sadly. ‘I had no idea. I just said I’d promise him anything he wanted.’
‘If you make a promise, you should probably be specific about it, Merina.’
‘Perseus, he was threatening to murder me.’
‘What?’
‘He put a storm in the waters that would have drowned me if I hadn’t made the promise.’
I closed my eyes, feeling the choppy waves inside me, seeing the sky darken again to steel, the stars disappearing as if a sulphurous cloak had been thrown upon their light. ‘I said anything, to save myself and Argentus.’
‘I see,’ Perseus said quietly.
‘He calmed the storm, but after that, he began to follow me every time I went fishing. At first my sisters said, Ignore him, he’ll go away. But Poseidon didn’t go away. Every time I went fishing, he was there. Every time. I was fourteen and I felt like ninety.’
‘You should have stopped going fishing.’
‘Why should I have stopped doing what I loved? Poseidon shouldn’t have been there in the first place. He should have stopped following me!’
‘But … yes. Yes,’ said Perseus. ‘All right. Yes, I see that.’
‘There’s something stubborn in me. I’m a half-finished map and I’m always trying to plot my points, and I won’t have anyone do it for me. It was my boat, Perseus. My life. But up from the deep, there was Poseidon.’ I shuddered. ‘I would see his shadow rising, larger and larger, as it loomed towards my boat. He never broke the water’s surface, but he was there all right. Hovering. Sometimes, when my back was turned, I felt a tug on my hair, and when I looked? Nothing. He’d forced me into this open-ended promise by threatening my death, but day by day he was taking my life anyway.’
‘What did you do?’
‘You’ll be pleased to hear I stopped fishing,’ I said. I heard Perseus sigh. ‘Going out into the waters no longer made me happy. Argentus wouldn’t even get in the boat any more, so I was bobbing alone up there while my sisters dived for fish.’
‘Didn’t he ever bother your sisters?’
‘No. I was worried about them. While I was sitting there like a target in the little skiff, they were actually in the water with him.
Euryale said they were both big enough and immortal enough to look after themselves, but this was Poseidon – what might he do to them too? It was madness. The villagers had taken away my walks by the shore for being too vain and beautiful, and now Poseidon was stealing the last of my freedom. I didn’t belong to myself any more. I belonged to Poseidon.’
‘At least you were safe on land,’ said Perseus.
I had to laugh. ‘You don’t think he gave up, do you?’
‘Oh.’
‘No. He started making storms again. Huge ones. The rivers burst, the fields flooded and the crops were destroyed. Then there was the lack of fish swimming shorewards from the ocean. The villagers began to get hungry, and Poseidon told them he’d stop it all if I would keep my “promise”. She’s snagged Poseidon, my neighbour Alekto said. Sitting out there, hanging over the side of her boat. Flaunting her curves all right, but won’t give him what he wants. She made a promise, won’t keep it – typical, fickle – and now we can’t eat. She’s taunting him.’
‘But you weren’t!’
‘Of course I wasn’t. I was just existing. Like your mother was trying to exist with Polydectes bothering her the whole time. But Poseidon managed to make it all my fault. I’m not doing anything to him! I yelled at the villagers. I was so angry, Perseus. I’d never really experienced anger, but it grew inside me like a gift to myself. Stheno had always told me to be polite, but where had politeness got me? Making promises I didn’t want to make or keep. We’re all suffering because of you, said neighbour Leodes. I think she should go in the water, said Alekto. Let her go and land her big fish. Just give him what he wants, and he’ll leave you alone, she added to me. It’s how it goes, child, said Leodes. It’s how to keep the peace.’
‘But you didn’t go in the water, did you?’ said Perseus.
I leaned my head against the warm red rock and closed my eyes. ‘One day, Perseus, as I was walking through the village, my legs gave way. I literally couldn’t walk. I’d become so exposed, so sad, so desperate to press away the creeping conviction that I was doing something wrong, that my legs refused to work. The villagers made a crescent round me, but not one of them came to my help. My sisters were still out in the water, gathering their nets. I wanted to be free of feeling responsible for everybody’s feelings, for the storms, for Poseidon. I didn’t want to be a girl any more. I wanted to be a fish. I wanted to be caught and grilled by my sisters, then eaten to tiny bits inside their stomachs. Hidden forever, never to be me again. But despite the villagers’ bullying, and Poseidon’s pestering, no: I never went in the water.’
‘You’re very brave,’ said Perseus.
I thought about this. ‘I would have been just as brave a person even if I’d given in.’
We were silent for a while.
‘There’s … more,’ I said, scrunching up my eyes, willing the tears not to fall. ‘The story isn’t over. My sisters called to the goddess Athena to help me.’
‘You’ve met Athena?’ said Perseus.
‘Yes,’ I replied dully, touching my snakes.
‘Me too,’ he said.
‘Oh?’ I couldn’t hide the hardness in my voice. ‘When?’
‘Quite recently. She was really nice to me,’ he said. ‘Very generous.’
‘Lucky you. I got her on a bad day. She must have heard my sisters’ pleas, because she turned up at our house one afternoon when Stheno and Euryale were out fishing and I was watching them from the cliffs. She said to me that I didn’t look well, and I told her that she probably knew the reason for that. I begged her to help me get rid of Poseidon, because I’d tried everything and I didn’t know what to do. And Athena said, Just because a god looks at you, you think you’re special? Who exactly do you think you are? Everyone has problems.’
‘That was helpful of her,’ said Perseus.
‘I got desperate. I told her I’d never sought Poseidon’s attention, that I’d do anything to have him never look my way again. I said I’d tie my hair up, cut it off …’ I hesitated, my breath ragged.
‘Are you all right?’ said Perseus.
‘I’m fine. I’m just remembering.’