Fuck him. Fuck all of this.
I settle Reggie into the bed. She’s pale and wan, her freckles standing out on her skin. Abernathy pulled too hard from her, drained too much. He doesn’t care if he pushes her beyond her limits, but I fucking care. The thought of Reggie hurting because a too-powerful spell drained her wrecks me.
The thought of Reggie hating me because she thinks I did this wrecks me even more.
There was no mistaking the look of betrayal on her face as Abernathy cast. As she realized it was going to spell out my name.
I don’t understand it, but I need to make her realize it wasn’t me. That I’d never injure my aunt like that. That Dru’s the only family that’s ever stood by my side. I might have some dark spots on my soul, but not that. Never that.
But I don’t expect Reggie to believe that. We’ve known each other for months, not centuries. She doesn’t believe me when I say it’s not me. And I get it. I understand why she can’t quite trust . . . even if it still makes me ache.
I watch her as she sleeps. I don’t get into bed with her, because I suspect I’m not welcome. Reggie loves and cares for people openly, giving them everything she can of herself, but when she feels betrayed, it goes deep. I understand that, and it’s why I need to talk to her, just to explain myself to her so she’ll understand it wasn’t me. So she’ll give me another chance to prove to her that I’m trustworthy. That I’m not the monster she thinks I am.
I doze in a chair fitfully, watching as she sleeps.
My phone rings just after dawn and I jump to my feet. Clutching it to my chest, I glance over to see if it’s awoken Reggie, but she still sleeps. I answer the call and step out of the room, heading down the hotel hallway as I do so I won’t accidentally wake her. “Hello?”
“It’s Lisa. How did it go?”
I shake my head in frustration. “Not good. We found Abernathy, but he miscast the spell. Pointed the finger at me.”
“Oh no.” Lisa sounds upset. “You would never, Caliban.”
I know that. Of course I know that. “Like I said, it misfired. We’ll have to figure something else out. How’s Aunt Dru?”
Lisa sighs, her tone more annoyed than sad. “The same as always. Are you guys returning soon? I could use a break, and I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow. Jim’s warlock is getting a little impatient, too.”
I want to snap that Jim’s warlock can fuck right off, but I don’t. Lisa has been helpful, and she doesn’t deserve my wrath. However, if I see Abernathy again . . . “We’ll catch a flight back today.”
“Super. We’ll be waiting. Safe travels!”
I hang up and shove my phone into my pocket, and my hands into my pockets, too. I want to grab my phone and fling it down the hall, to watch it smash into a million pieces against the wall, but I don’t dare. I need to stay in contact for Lisa and for Aunt Dru, just in case my aunt takes a turn for the worse . . . or she magically wakes up.
I don’t know what to do. I pace down the hall, lost and frustrated, and when I finally return to my room, I’m not entirely surprised to see that it’s empty. While I was gone, Reggie snuck out. She must have been faking sleeping and decided to flee me when the moment arose.
She thinks I’m guilty.
She’s left. She’s done with me.
This time, I don’t resist the urge to throw my phone. I fling it from me and let it crash into the wall, watching as it shatters into a hundred pieces. Instead of making me feel better, I just feel worse. Hollow. Angry.
Defeated.
I shouldn’t be surprised. Reggie has trust issues, and I have a long and ugly past and a bad reputation. It’s obvious that she shouldn’t trust me. Yet I’m still disappointed that she doesn’t.
I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up. Shouldn’t have hoped that someone would see me for me, and not just the reputation. I stare at the empty hotel room and feel completely, utterly alone.
36
REGGIE
I’ve made a huge mistake.
The words echo in my mind over and over again as the Uber takes me to Nick’s apartment, the one I used to share with him.
I’ve made a huge mistake.
Hot tears roll down my face, and I bite back a sob of misery, because the driver’s already giving me weird looks. It’s just . . . I’ve fucked up so badly. I look at the time on my phone. How long has it been since I left Ben and ran out of the hotel? Nearly a full day. I’ve spent the last twenty-four hours taking planes and cars back toward Dru’s house, only to realize that I can’t go there.
Not right away.
I need Nick’s help because I have to somehow fix this.
More tears roll down my face, and I swipe them away, furious with myself. It’s my own fault. I stare down at the twin cuffs on my wrists, and I touch Ben’s over and over again.
Ben.
I’m so damn stupid. I take another shuddering breath. I was so tired and loopy from Abernathy’s spell that I immediately thought he’d betrayed me. It didn’t matter that he’s never done anything to indicate he would do so. I just assumed Ben was like my parents, only using me for his own ends. I let that hot panic sweep over me, and I ran away. I got a car to the airport and booked a flight with a stupidly long layover on a commercial airline, just because I didn’t want to meet up with Ben again on the private flight.
When I got on the first plane, I was convinced he was guilty and that he’d simply manipulated me. That he’d put his own aunt at risk to get me to stay.
But then small things didn’t add up. The ugly wound he sliced into the center of his palm because he was so rattled about Dru’s curse. Climbing down in the well after me and kissing me silly. Showing up at the party even though it would destroy what little he had left of his reputation. His confessions about his parents. If he’d wanted to keep me at his side, he wouldn’t have said anything about them. He wouldn’t have me wearing his bracelet and angering every warlock on the continent.
He wouldn’t have looked so completely and utterly betrayed when I pushed him away.
I made a knee-jerk reaction and panicked. By the time my second flight landed, I’d worked through my thoughts and realized it wasn’t Ben. The spell had misfired, like he’d said. Dru is his only family. Ben would never harm her.
After my plane landed, I called Ben.
No answer.
I texted him.
Nothing.
I waited at the airport for an hour, not sure if I could go back home to Dru’s house. I wasn’t sure if I’d be welcome. After all, Ben’s had centuries of people abandoning him and thinking the worst. It probably cut him deeply when I didn’t trust him.
But Ben didn’t answer my calls. He made it clear he wanted nothing to do with me.
So I’m panicking and utterly distraught. I’m on my way to talk to Nick. He’s better with people than I am. He’ll know what to do.
The moment the Uber pulls up to Nick’s apartment building, though, I bite back a groan of dismay at the sight of my parents’ van. Of course they’d be here on the worst day of my life. They’re like sharks that can smell blood in the water. I yank the hood of my sweatshirt over my head to hide my face, and make for the front door of the building. Maybe they won’t see me—
“Reggie!” My mother’s voice is like nails on a chalkboard. “There you are!”
I do not have time for this shit today. I don’t stop walking, increasing my speed as I race for the door.
“Reggie! Stop right now! We need to talk!” My father, too. Footsteps sound on the pavement behind me, and when a hand touches my arm, trying to stop me, I lose it.