Ben pants, a hint of frustration on his features. “I can’t even remember what we were talking about five minutes ago,” he confesses. “So you’ll have to ask it again.”
I curl my fingers around him, my fingertips not quite touching as I squeeze the base of his cock. I haven’t forgotten that I wanted to ask about his age. I’m still stinging from Gwen’s remarks about how young I am, what a baby I am, and I worry I’m too young for Ben. That horse might have already left the barn, so to speak, but the thought of him seeing me as just some idiot youngster won’t stop nagging me.
Of course, he’s going to say whatever I want to hear as long as my hand is on his cock. So I reluctantly let go, sit up, and gaze down at him. “Does my age bother you?”
His dark brows knit together. “Where’d this come from?”
“I know you’re like a million years old—”
“Ouch.” Ben sits up, a frown on his face. “I’m five hundred, but we age differently, Reggie. You’ll see that age matters very little after the first hundred years or so.”
“First hundred years?” I echo, surprised.
“Well, yes. You have the same ambrosia in your blood that I do—the bloodline of magic. If you start practicing on your own, you’ll be just as long lived as the rest of us.”
“I . . . Oh.” It’s not something I considered before now. “Then you don’t mind that I’m young? Gwen said—”
He rolls his eyes, reaching for me. Ben grabs me around the waist and drops onto his back again, pulling me back down with him. “When will you realize Gwen was pricking at you? She was bringing you down to make herself look good. As if I’d be swayed by that. I know how Gwen is, trust me.” He buries his face against my neck. “And you have nothing to worry about when it comes to her.”
The nagging worry eats at me. Ben might look like he’s only a few years my senior, but he’s got centuries on me. If people get hung up on age differences between normal couples, what are we going to seem like? “I just worry the age difference is going to be too much for you. Like you won’t have anything in common with me—”
“Like magic? Like the card games? Like our parents?” He arches an eyebrow at me. “How many things do we need to have in common before you decide we’re good together?”
I bite my lip. “I don’t want you to feel like being with me is a mistake—”
He cups my jaw, pressing a soft, reverent kiss on my mouth. It might be the sweetest kiss yet, and the most erotic, because he still tastes like my body. “Reggie. When you get as old as I am, you learn pretty quickly to recognize the people in your life that feel fleeting and the people in your life that feel right, deep in your soul. And you feel right to me. Perfect.” He slides his hand to his chest and makes a fist over his heart. “Like you’ve always been right here. I love you.”
I go still. A vague sense of dread washes through me, even though the look on Ben’s face is utterly earnest and full of emotion. I . . . don’t know what to say. Love is terrifying to me. My parents said they loved me, and they treated me like I was there only for them to use and abuse. I’ve had ex-boyfriends who said they loved me and showed it with their fists. I’m not good with love. But Ben stares at me, waiting, and I know I should say something.
I lick my dry lips. “Ben . . .”
“It’s all right,” he murmurs, reaching out to tenderly brush a lock of hair back from my face. “I know what you’re thinking. You think I can’t understand you, because of our age differences, but you and I are very similar, Reggie. You’re thinking that people use the word ‘love’ as a tool against you. That just because they say they love you, it somehow gives them permission to do awful things.”
Oh god, he does know me, so very well. It makes me ache deep inside. “Everyone I’ve loved has used me. Except Nick.” I manage a watery chuckle. “It took me a long time to trust him, and even now, I still sometimes think he just used me for free housekeeping.”
Ben shakes his head. “Don’t doubt that people love you, Reggie. You’re an amazing person. Nick loves you because you’re his friend. Penny loves you, too. I was expecting her to attack me on your behalf at any time.” His mouth crooks up in a half smile. “I know me saying this makes you nervous, but don’t be. You don’t have to say it back, Reggie. I know how I feel, and that’s all that matters. I’ll prove it to you. Just give me time.”
I feel shy and full of hope but still scared. “I would love that.”
He gives me a beautiful smile and leans in to kiss the tip of my nose. He’s so damned tender and sweet that it makes me ache . . . and then I want to make him ache. “Do you have more questions for me?” he asks.
“Just one.”
“Mmm?”
I reach between us and grip his cock again. “Did you still want to come on my freckles?”
Ben’s eyes flare with heat, and then neither of us speaks again for a very long time.
31
BEN
When Willem meets us at the coffee shop, his gaze immediately goes to the twin bracelets Reggie wears, one on each wrist. His mouth thins with disapproval, and I know what he’s thinking. He thinks I’m stealing my aunt’s familiar while she’s under a curse. Or he thinks that I cursed her myself.
I’m not surprised. Others have taken out rivals just to steal their familiars. Finding one that can handle all the casting a warlock wants to do is a tall order. Finding one you don’t want to strangle is a difficult task, too. That Reggie is both makes her priceless in my eyes. Plus the fact that I’m in love with her. But I wouldn’t steal her away from my aunt. I’d just monopolize her time a little.
I wait for Willem to comment on the bracelets, though, and I’m not disappointed. He lifts his cup to his lips, arching a brow at me. “Determined to ruin any shreds of reputation you have left, Magnus?”
“I don’t give a damn about my reputation.”
“Obviously.” He stares pointedly at Reggie’s neck, where I’ve left multiple love bites all over her skin. It was on accident, but I don’t regret them. I like seeing her wear the evidence of my touch.
Reggie gives me a worried look. “What’s he talking about? What’s wrong?”
I don’t want her to worry. “It’s nothing.”
“It’s not nothing,” Willem corrects, giving me a thin frown. “Reputation is everything among the warlock community. You’re already on thin ice as it is. The only reason you haven’t had sanctions put on you is because they shit their pants at the thought of angering you. But if you push too far . . .” Willem shrugs. “You don’t want to end up like me.”
The look on Reggie’s face becomes even more distraught. She looks to me for reassurance, and I lean over, sliding my arm around her shoulders. “It’s frowned upon to make advances on another’s familiar. Since my aunt is currently under a spell, there are those that would assume I’m responsible for it.”
She looks down at the bracelet on her arm, realization dawning on her face. “Oh god. No, it’s not like that. Ben hasn’t done anything wrong.” She shakes her head at Willem. “He’s just borrowing me for a spell to protect me, and we’re trying to figure out how to save Dru. He’s going to release me the moment she’s awake again.”
“Mmm” is all Willem says.
I say nothing, too. The truth is, I like Reggie wearing my cuff. I like having that part of her that belongs to me. Warlocks (and witches) as a rule tend to be possessive and secretive, and we’re bad at sharing. I would never steal her from Aunt Dru, but the thought crosses my mind at least once an hour. Maybe twice an hour.
“Just because it looks bad doesn’t mean that it is,” Reggie says defiantly. “Ben has been working tirelessly to save Dru, and he deserves your respect. And as for what the other warlocks think of him, I agree that it doesn’t matter. Ben’s retiring. He’s going to teach.”