Finding solutions had put everyone in a celebratory mood, and my sisters had just opened a second bottle of wine when I excused myself to go to Ben’s. He and I had made plans to get together before my mother had asked me to have everyone over, and although I’d briefly considered rescheduling, I’d ultimately decided that I could do both things. After all, my mother was surrounded by her family, and although Josh had done a double-take when I told him that I was heading to Ben’s, he quickly recovered and promised to keep an eye on her and call me if she started slipping into “sundowning,” as the ER doctor had referred to her evening confusion.
Ben buzzed me in, and as I stepped into his apartment, I thought about how even with the white walls and the muted tones and the clean decor, the apartment still felt as familiar, as safe and welcoming, as it had to me when we were children.
“I love it here,” I told Ben as I slipped off my sandals and wandered into the living room. “Always have. I hope you keep the place.”
“I like that you like it,” he said, looking around like he was seeing it for the first time. “I plan to hold on to it, even if my travels take me west,” he said with a wink. “Speaking of which, how did it go?”
I broke into a smile. “Really well,” I said, then caught him up on what had happened.
He was grinning so widely by the time I was done that you’d think I’d just solved world hunger. “And that is how you do it.”
“I guess it is,” I said, grinning back at him.
“I’m proud of you.”
“Thank you. I am, too.”
“Hey, Laine?”
“Yeah?” I said, pausing near the doorway between the living room and the kitchen.
He walked over to me and put his arms around my waist. I felt my breath quicken at his touch.
“Do you remember the first day we met?” he said.
“I do. But you tell me your version.”
“Okay. So . . . I’m leaning against the fence and thinking about how much I hated this neighborhood and our new apartment and basically life in general,” he began. “In fact, I’m sulking my face off when suddenly I see this girl in the distance, and she waves to me.”
“No—you waved to me,” I said.
“That’s your version.” He winked. “And I think she doesn’t want to play with me, but I think to myself, What the heck, Ben? You’ve got nothing to lose. So, I walk over to her, because it’s not every day a cute girl you’ve never met before talks to you like you’re already friends. And I stand in front of her, and she looks at me with these big brown eyes.”
I swear I could hear his heart thumping against his chest. Or maybe it was my own; it was impossible to tell the difference. “Go on,” I said.
“So, I ask her if she wants to be friends. But what I’m really thinking is, But only say yes if it’s for the rest of our lives.”
My pulse quickened.
“So what do you think?” he asked, pulling me closer. “I want it to be only ever us again, Laine. Do you?”
“Yes.” I couldn’t help it; a tear escaped, then another. But they were the most joyful tears I’d ever shed, and I didn’t bother wiping them away. “Only ever us,” I whispered. And then I did what I’d been thinking about doing for, oh, several decades, and planted my lips on his.
I hadn’t kissed anyone other than Josh since the early aughts, so even though I technically had kissed Ben before, it was still kind of weird. His lips were not chapped and basically nothing like Josh’s, and although my entire body was humming with desire, I didn’t really know what to do with myself. Where did my hands go? What did one do with a tongue, exactly, when it came upon another tongue? I felt like I was thirteen again and not in full possession of my person.
“Laine,” he said.
“Sorry,” I said, though I wasn’t sure if I was apologizing for kissing him or for not being great at it or for being so stupid as to have waited so long for him. All of it, I supposed.
“You should be saying you’re welcome right now—not apologizing.” He inhaled, and I thought maybe he was trying to center himself or something. Then he said, “You smell exactly the way I remember.”
“And how’s that?”
“I don’t know,” he said, shaking his head. “Just . . . really good. Like the best parts of my life.”
“You do, too,” I confessed. “Ben?”
“Yeah?”
It was a risk to say it aloud. But I was done playing it safe. “I love you. I always have.”
“I love you, too,” he said. His brown eyes held mine. “I thought it’d go away, but it never did—not even after I put years and thousands of miles between us.”
I laughed with delight because the only other option was to explode with happiness. He loved me. Ben Walker loved me.
“When I saw you on Smith Street—I felt like I was a kid again and my favorite person had just appeared,” he said.
“I know,” I confessed. “I couldn’t quite admit that to myself, but I felt that, too. Since you’ve been back in my life, things have been completely upside down . . . and I’ve never been happier.”
“Me, too.” And then he kissed me.
This time, it wasn’t awkward, and I didn’t feel strange or sorry or weird. His lips were on mine and his body was taut against my torso as he ran his hands down my back and kissed me again and again.
And it was like . . .
Well, it was like I’d been gone for a very long time, and I’d finally come home.
THIRTY-EIGHT
SALLY
Six Months Later
Everyone’s here—what a treat! Hadley and Topper and Ainsley and Asher. Laine and Josh. No, Piper and Josh—that’s right—and Kai and Jae and Rocco. And Laine and Ben, in from Michigan. What a beautiful couple they make! The two of them light up a room when they’re together.
And Reggie, my Reggie. There he was, walking across the room toward me, stirring up butterflies in my stomach. Ben brought him to dinner one night right before he and Laine moved—of course I said yes when they asked if they could—and Reggie hasn’t left my side since. How funny, this family’s musical chairs! First Ben moved to Ann Arbor with Laine, then Reggie moved back into his old place, just three doors down, so he could spend more time with me and help me with Joy. That was . . . two seasons ago now. And here I still get all fluttery when he’s around. It’s a feeling that makes me feel deeply alive, and I can think of few things better than that. What a surprise, what a delight, to be reunited with him after all this time.
In the dining room, Piper’s three were clearing the table, and what a lot of dishes they had to move. But weren’t the holidays already over? My eyes landed on the credenza, where a colorful stack of presents waited to be opened. Then I remembered. They were here for me. Seventy-three—a nice long life. But as Reggie put his arm around me, I could’ve been forty all over again, with all of the pleasure and none of the angst.
“Happy birthday, Sally,” he said. “Are you having a good evening?”
It was barely evening; they’d started early for me, as I did better then. The nights had gotten harder, just as the doctor said they would. Some afternoons weren’t much easier.
“Reggie,” I said, nestling into his side, “I’m having the best evening I’ve had since the last time we were all together.”
“Happy birthday, Mom!” announced Hadley. She’d just walked into the living room carrying a cake. It wasn’t just the candles that were making her glow. The twins were a year old now, and just as I’d assured her, life had gotten easier as they grew. It would get harder again, yes, but in different ways. And then one day, she’d blink, and her children would have children of their own.
Piper was hovering just behind Laine, probably making sure she didn’t need anything. Maybe it’s Josh, or maybe it’s her sister’s condition, but Piper’s been at her best these days. As for Laine, she was just barely showing—but a mother always knows. I’d asked her a while ago, the last time they were in town, if my suspicions were correct. She’d joyfully confessed that, yes, she and Ben were expecting, and due late in the spring. I don’t need to see her with my new grandbaby to know how lucky they’ll be. Why, anyone who’d seen Laine with that beloved dog of hers would agree: she’s already the most wonderful mother.
They were singing to me now. Happy birthday, dear Sally. Happy birthday to you.