I chewed on my lip anxiously, the dry skin splitting under my teeth. I did not see our salvation ahead; only the sour dread of disaster unforeseen.
In the ghostly dawn, we ranged again at the city walls, useless spectators gathered atop the ramparts, waiting for our fate to be decided. The monotony of it, day after day for ten years, the helpless despair that pinned us there to watch – could it break at last?
The fog rolled in from the shore with the waves; a drifting tide of white exhaled by the surging sea. It cloaked the enemy encampment, stretched its tendrils out to the Trojan campfires dotted at the base of the walls. We were poised, all of us, a silent city gathered in this endless moment. I think every soul among us held their breath as the warriors massed in their ranks, ready.
Still, the eerie silence reigned, broken only by the hoarse shriek of a solitary bird that swooped low above us, the beat of its wings startlingly loud.
And then, somewhere in the murky gloom, the rumble of chariot wheels sounded. Andromache was at my side, and I felt her body stiffen. We had expected to see a Trojan charge, but before they had taken a step, it seemed that, incredibly, the Greeks approached – the battered, almost beaten Greeks. A vast body of darkness swelled behind the dissipating fog, and, at once, a great whooping cry went up, reverberating against the ancient stones of Troy. A hideously familiar helmet shone in the first weak rays of the sun, the gleaming armour we all recognised.
Andromache clutched convulsively at my hand. ‘Achilles returns,’ she gasped.
I shook my head, squinted at the mighty figure spurring on the horses, standing proud upon his chariot, flanked by the Myrmidon army whose absence we had thought would save us all. ‘No – Achilles sits alone,’ I breathed. I saw him, solitary and brooding, as sullen as the smouldering embers of the fire beside which he sat. He stared resolutely out to sea; his nymph mother watching him, her black eyes gleaming with satisfaction.
‘It is not Achilles,’ I whispered. It was Apollo’s words, burning in my throat.
Andromache, oblivious to my words, went very still beside me, her eyes wide with horror. ‘Hector.’
Of course, my brother charged forward in pursuit of Achilles’ chariot; of course he could not watch his men cut down before him. I could feel the sleek, silver menace in the air, quivering like the taut string of Apollo’s bow poised over the battle, and I felt certain that one of the two men grappling urgently on the sand below would die.
In the distant quiet of the empty Myrmidon camp, I felt Achilles go rigid with sudden tension, and I knew that he whipped his head around in the direction of the faraway battle seething at the base of our city walls. And, in the same moment, I saw the impossible – Achilles’ shield dropped into the dirt of the battlefield, his knees buckling underneath him and his great plumed helmet rolling from his head as he tumbled backwards.
The blood glittered on Hector’s sword, its scarlet shine visible even to us on the battlements.
I paused. Sometimes, in dreams, I knew myself to be asleep, and I would feel trapped in the unfolding events of my slumbering mind, unable to break free. It was like this now, as people turned to one another in dazed disbelief.
Far below, Hector finished stripping away the armour as the Myrmidons swarmed, protective and busy over the tender flesh of the body. The corpse was the seething heart of a newer fight; a raw and desperate skirmish to claim the ragged, blood-streaked remains of whichever man had fought inside the armour of Achilles.
Priam’s head dropped, defeated, as he comprehended the message that rang back across the men. ‘It is not Achilles,’ he said.
I turned away, sick and weary. I could not watch the slaughter that day. I set my eyes upon the paved streets beneath my feet, searching for the truth lost in the muffling ache that rattled my brain. Somewhere, I knew, it lurked: a shining gem, kept tantalisingly just beyond my reach. If only Apollo would let me see it clearly; if only I could trace out the path to Troy’s destruction; if only I could know exactly the shape our doom would take.
In his temple, I prayed again. I did not beg for our salvation. I wanted only to know how long the torment of waiting would last. Wreathed in perfumed smoke, the statue of Apollo stared impassively out above my prostrate body. Out on the battlefield, the war raged. Every moment that passed stretched out interminably, but, somehow, the hours wore on. Outside the dim interior of the temple, the heavy bank of clouds began to dissipate, and in their wake, pale stars glimmered in the darkening sky. The men would withdraw; those still living would limp back to bathe wounds and grieve their friends and vow vengeance upon their enemies when the sun rose in the morning. And the jackals would slink, keen and hungry, from the shadows.
Hector came. He stepped past me, between the columns, and stood at Apollo’s mighty bronze feet. I raised myself to watch him.
My brother’s hair hung in damp curls. He must have cleansed himself of the dust and filth of battle before coming before the god. The back of his neck was bare; no vast plumed helmet nodding above his head. The vulnerability of this little patch of exposed flesh twisted my heart. Today, he gleamed with health and vitality, his arms taut and muscular, his chest rising and falling, blood running through his veins. I closed my eyes, tears prickling at my eyelids.
I heard the chink of metal and the pouring of liquid. The sweet aroma of wine mingled with the scent of incense, and I knew that Hector made his libation to Apollo. He would stand before the statue, his arms outstretched, and he would pray.
Through the dim smoke, I felt a steady calm spreading through my body, clearing some of the jangling confusion in my head. I opened my eyes and saw him looking back at me.
‘Have you come to ask what tomorrow holds?’ I said through dry lips, my voice hoarse from lack of use. I had not spoken since my unheard proclamation over the battlefield, when I had seen that it was not Achilles falling under Hector’s sword.
‘Only the gods can know that,’ he answered.
I wondered how his eyes could be so mellow, so contemplative. He surely came to seek from Apollo the knowledge of Achilles’ vengeance. I glanced up at the silent, towering god behind my brother. Finally, I felt the racing blur of my thoughts settle and, piece by piece, they slid together into place. ‘I can see it,’ I whispered.
He had never scorned me or scolded me. To the Greeks, he held death in his hands, a formidable warrior with no mercy or weakness. In Troy, he was our protector, as kind to his raving sister as he was to anyone else. ‘It does not matter what happens to me,’ he said. He knelt beside me, on the floor. ‘That is not what I seek to know.’
‘The man you killed today—’ I began.
‘I killed many men today,’ he said. ‘And every day of this ten-year war. But the man you think of – he who wore Achilles’ armour – his name was Patroklos.’ He glanced at me. ‘Achilles will want my blood for it, that much I know. Patroklos cursed me as he died, warned me of what will come.’
Patroklos. The white was creeping in around the edges of my vision, but I swallowed back the bile that accompanied it and forced my gaze to rest only upon Hector’s face.
‘But Achilles is one man,’ Hector continued, his voice quiet. ‘Before today, we had the Greeks nearly overpowered. We will chase them to their ships, and he can roar and rage against us as he likes. Perhaps his grief will make him careless.’
I reached out my hand and wrapped it around his forearm. It was warm, life pulsing under his skin. By sunset tomorrow, it would be limp and dust-streaked, dragged along the earth behind Achilles’ chariot. I stared at his wrist, traced the pattern of green veins on the tender inside. I saw the inferno coming for him, ready to consume my patient brother.