He opens his mouth, hesitates, and finally covers my hand with his. “It’s difficult to argue with that.”
“Because I’m right.” I take a deep breath. “Whether or not what we have gets to love, that’s not something either of us can control.” Even if it’s too late for me on that note. “But never doubt that you’re capable of it.”
Eros studies my face for a long moment and then his face relaxes in a smile. “I really don’t deserve you.”
“You really don’t.” I laugh a little. “But not for the reasons you’ve stated previously. I’m just a gem of a human being.”
“I know.”
The moment spins out between us, and those three little unforgiveable words dance on the tip of my tongue. I love you. I can’t say them. Not now, not after that conversation. It will look like I’m trying to manipulate him or, worse, that I expect him to say them back right now.
Desperate for a distraction, I clear my throat. “I’m starving.”
That springs him into motion just like I suspected it would. “Let’s get you fed, then.”
An hour later, we’ve eaten and showered. We’re plotting out the rest of our day when my phone rings. I hold my breath when I see my mother’s name. “Hello?”
“Poseidon is out. I’m sorry, Psyche. I tried every bit of leverage I have, but he refuses to get involved.”
Disappointment takes the bones right out of my legs. I barely manage to land on the chair instead of the floor. “I see.”
“He’s a young stubborn fool and he still thinks he can play the game his way instead of sinking down to the depths the rest of us occupy. If you give me some time—”
“Thank you, but that won’t be necessary.” Time is one thing we don’t have. Even now, Aphrodite will no doubt be ordering the next assault. She’s not one to take disappointment lightly, and from her point of view, I’ve bested her twice now. She won’t let it happen a third time. “I’ll take care of it.”
“Psyche…” For the first time in as long as I can remember, my mother sounds unsure. “Let me help.”
Horribly poisonous words threaten to surge forth. I wouldn’t be in this situation if Aphrodite didn’t hate you so much. I wouldn’t even be in Olympus if your ambition weren’t so strong. I don’t say them. Ultimately, I bear nearly as much responsibility in this situation as the rest of the players. I could have been like Persephone and tried to find a way out of Olympus. That was never my goal. I’ve played the game, too, and now I need to play it better than I ever have before.
To fail is to die.
I inhale slowly. “I have things under control. I’ll call you later.” I hang up and glance over to find Eros watching me. “Poseidon won’t offer his support.”
“It was a long shot, but I hoped I was wrong.” He’s gone still the way he seems to when he’s thinking hard, ice creeping into his features. “I’ll take care of it.”
“Eros, no.” The strength rushes back into my body, born of pure panic. I cross to him and take his hands. “No. You can’t hurt your mother.”
“I don’t want to.” He sounds like he’s in pain. “But we both know she won’t stop.” Eros slowly shakes his head. “There’s no other way. We’re running out of time.”
I know that. I’m achingly aware of the seconds ticking by. “Eros, please.” I skate my hands up his chest and cup his face. Gods, I think I’m going to cry. “I love you.” A cruel move to say it now, underhanded and just as manipulative as I feared it would be. I don’t care. I’ll say worse to keep him from doing this. It’s the truth, after all.
I thought he was still before; he’s practically frozen in place now. “Say it again.”
“Eros, I love you.” The words spill so easily from my tongue. I dig my hands into his golden curls. “I love you.”
He looks almost agonized. “I meant what I said earlier. I don’t deserve it.”
“Love doesn’t much care whether you deserve it or not. It’s not exactly a conditional thing—or at least it shouldn’t be.”
He coasts his hands over my hips. “I, in particular, don’t deserve to be loved by you.” Eros shudders out a breath. “But I don’t give a fuck. You’ve said it. You can’t take it back.”
I find myself smiling even though it feels like my heart is breaking. “Please don’t go. Please give me time to find another way.” To put things in motion that will save him from this.
He covers my hands with his own and lifts them from his hair. Eros kisses one palm and then the other. “I promised to keep you safe. That’s exactly what I’m going to do.” He releases me and steps back. “Go to the panic room and stay there until I return. Don’t open it for anyone but me.”
I’m losing him. Maybe I lost him the moment Poseidon removed himself from the equation. I don’t know, but I can feel Eros slipping through my fingers even though he’s standing right in front of me. He might think himself a monster in truth, but if that were accurate, he wouldn’t be able to care for me the way he does.
If he harms his mother, he’ll lose what little there is left of his soul.
I can’t let him do that, not for me. “Eros, please.”
He kisses me gently. It feels like goodbye. “The safe room, Psyche. Promise me.”
“I promise,” I whisper. It’s the first time I’ve lied to him since we were married.
He nods and releases me. “I won’t be long.”
I stand there, my heart sinking, and watch him pull on his coat and shoes. The sound of the door opening is obscenely loud in the quiet of the penthouse. I find myself counting softly. “One…Two… Three…” At twenty, I force myself to move.
The first step is the hardest. I’m taking a gamble of my own with this. Not only with my life but Eros might never forgive me for what I’m about to do.
It doesn’t matter. I’ll bear that price and gladly if it means I spare him from carrying the weight of harming one of the few people he cares about in this world.
I scramble for my phone, nearly dropping it in my haste. There’s only one person I can call to pull this off, and it’s a gamble of the highest order. I take a deep breath and dial.
When she answers, Helen sounds like she’s been sleeping. “Hello?”
“Helen, I need Aphrodite’s number.”
“Hi, Psyche. So nice to talk to you. I’m doing great, thanks for asking.”
I swallow down my need to scream. “Helen.” I speak slowly. “Eros is in trouble, and I need Aphrodite’s number. I don’t have time to explain why.”
She’s silent for a beat. “I like you, Psyche, but Aphrodite will skin me alive if she finds out I gave her contact information to you. Ask Eros.”
“Helen!” My voice spikes despite my best efforts to stay calm. “Eros is going to kill Aphrodite.”
“What? He wouldn’t. They have a toxic as fuck relationship, but she’s his mother.”
“I know. That’s why I need her number and need it now.”
Another pause, shorter this time. Finally, she says, “If this is all some ploy that will hurt him in the end, I’ll grind you to dust. There will be nothing left of you when I’m done.”
“If I fail with what I’m about to do, you’re more than welcome to try. The number, Helen. Please.”
She curses and rattles off the number. I hang up without saying goodbye. Time is of the essence, but I still allow myself a few seconds to take some breaths and get my head on straight. I only get one shot at this; I can’t afford to screw it up.
My heartbeat isn’t anywhere near normal as I dial Aphrodite’s number. It’s just as well. She won’t believe me if I’m too calm. She’s smart enough to sense that there’s more to this than it seems, so it’s my job to ensure she’s too focused on the possibility of getting to me to worry about a trap. Or at least too arrogant to think that any trap of mine could hold her.
When she answers, she’s as cold as ice. “Aphrodite speaking.”
“I’ve changed my mind.” I don’t have to fake the quiver in my tone. “I didn’t sign on for all this, and I want out. You can get me out of Olympus, can’t you?”