“Long-term will have to be adaptable.” She closes her eyes, her expression becoming more and more relaxed. “I don’t suppose your mother was bluffing about still wanting me dead?”
I wish I could let her believe that will happen, but I can’t. “No. Aphrodite doesn’t bluff.”
“Then we’ll just have to find a way to force her to call off this attack. Easy, right?” She laughs, the sound bitter. “At least my mother isn’t rampaging this time.”
“There is that. Have I mentioned lately that she’s terrifying?”
“Pot, meet kettle.”
I grin, but the expression fades quickly. “We’ll find a way. My mother is hardly a rational individual, but she’s only a danger because of how powerful she is. If we can find more allies and use the public’s goodwill in our favor, it might be enough.” It’s still a long shot, but there’s the tiniest chance that once she realizes she’s outmatched, she’ll cease any further attacks. Or at least keep it in the area of reputation, rather than literal life and death.
“Then we stick with this plan and adapt as necessary, depending on what she does.” Psyche gives me a tired smile. “We’ll figure it out, Eros. We’re wonderfully matched when it comes to this. Between the two of us, we’ll find a solution.”
The casual faith she puts in me is staggering. My chest goes tight. “Yes. We will. I promise.”
“Mmm.”
It takes me several minutes to realize that Psyche has fallen asleep. Several more minutes pass before I force myself to set her foot down and rise. She looks different in sleep, something in her relaxing that I hadn’t realized was tense. It’s not that she seems younger, exactly, but that she’s put down a burden she carries with her always.
I have the strangest urge to offer to carry it for her.
It’s not late enough for me to sleep yet, which is just as well. I have a call to make. I leave Psyche on the couch for now and head to the safe room. Tomorrow, I’ll drill her on the code again a few times to ensure it’s properly memorized. I don’t plan on leaving her unattended more often than strictly necessary, but I already know she’s going to crave some independence before too long. I’m not sure how I’ll handle security outside the penthouse; a problem for another day. I softly shut the door and do the last thing I want to right now.
I dial my mother.
I half expect her to ignore my call. Her favorite punishment is icing me out, depriving me of any contact or attention. When I was young and she’d do it, it always felt like she’d sliced me right down to the bone. Aphrodite is so much larger than life, and to a child—to her child—it’s even truer. Having her turn away from me…
I give myself a shake. Her tactics don’t work as well as they used to. Not since I grew up enough to realize she uses her love and her attention as both lure and punishment. But some things are impossible to shuck off, and I can’t quite pull in a full breath until she answers.
She doesn’t make me wait long. “So now you decide you’re available for a conversation? I should block your number.”
“You won’t.” It’s an effort to keep my voice even. “How will you convey your disappointment in me then?”
She makes a sound suspiciously like a hiss. “Insolent child.”
“I’m twenty-eight, Mother.” I hurl the term like a weapon. “I’m more than capable of making my own choices, including who will be my bride.”
“She wouldn’t be your bride if you’d carved her heart out of her chest like I asked. I don’t know why you’re balking, Eros. It’s not as if you didn’t do that and worse to Polyphonte. Killed her right in front of her parents. Did you know her mother committed suicide this week? Tragic, that.”
I’m not prepared for the guilt that swarms me. “That’s different.” The words feel like a lie on my tongue.
“It’s really not. Did you convince yourself you’re like that precious wife of yours?” She laughs. “Silly boy. You’re nothing like her. You’re like me. We are the only two people in this world who can understand each other, and you’re putting that at risk for a little bitch with good hair. The moment that woman realizes what you’re truly capable of, she’ll turn from you. Don’t you understand that I’m trying to help you?”
There are very few things I care about in this world. Most of the time, I hate that Aphrodite numbers among them. I’m old enough now, independent enough, to understand that she’s constantly attempting to emotionally manipulate me. It’s a good portion of the reason why I have systematically carved out the softer feelings from my personality, removing all possibility of traction. I thought those parts of me were gone forever, but Psyche’s presence has them waking as if from a long slumber.
They won’t serve me now. All they’ll accomplish is giving my mother a foothold that I’ve worked too damn hard to eradicate.
“Mother,” I say slowly. “If you cause any harm to come to my wife, you will regret it.”
“Not as much as you’re going to regret this marriage.” Her tone goes just as cold as mine. “What were you thinking, Eros? I send you to remove the girl and you marry her? Have you lost your mind?”
“Plans changed.”
“Not mine.”
I know that. I don’t know why I’m reaching out now, hoping that I can work a miracle and change Aphrodite’s mind. Still…I have to try. Reacting in fear will just give her a larger target to aim at. I have to be cold, colder than I ever have before. “I never ask you for anything. I’m asking you for this. Leave Psyche alone.”
She’s silent for so long, a foolish part of me starts to dare to hope that this is the moment things change. That, for once, my mother will put my needs above her selfish desires.
I really should know better after a lifetime of being her son. Finally, Aphrodite says, “I see that she’s gotten to you. Pity.”
“Mother.”
“Do not say ‘Mother’ in that tone of voice. Not to me.”
Something akin to panic tightens my chest. “Let me have her, and put this behind us and I’ll never question you again. That’s what you want, isn’t it? A good little fixer who stops giving you attitude.”
She takes a slow breath, and when she speaks again, she sounds almost calm. “Everything I do, Eros, I do for love.” She hangs up before I can formulate a response.
I stare at my phone. “Fuck. Fuck.” I knew it wouldn’t make a difference. I knew it, but I still tried. I close my eyes, but an image imprints itself on the back of my eyelids, of Psyche’s body bent and broken, her hazel eyes gone blank with death, the thing that makes her her gone forever. I press my hand to my chest, hard, trying to breathe past the pain the image brings. I won’t let it happen. I know all my mother’s tricks. I just need to hold her off until we can come up with a plan to neutralize her for good.
I know how to neutralize her. She’s the one who taught me.
I can’t do it. I thought I had no lines left to cross, but not even I can kill my own mother. No matter how evil she is. Not even to keep Psyche safe.
I leave the safe room with slow steps that increase in pace the closer I get to the living room. Psyche’s only been out of my sight for ten minutes. She’s fine. I know she’s fine. But I don’t breathe easy again until I walk into the room and find her exactly where I left her.
What the fuck is happening to me?
I gather her up into my arms, ignoring her sleepy protest that she’s too heavy, and carry her into our bedroom. We end up in bed, me spooning her as she sinks back into sleep. I press my hand to her upper chest, counting her slow inhales and exhales until my nerves finally settle enough for sleep to take me.
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