Dreaming of Flight

“Just, like . . . too much all at once.”

“Oh, that,” he said. And sighed. She was still brushing his hair with her fingers, even though it had been properly removed from his forehead. It wasn’t like her to be so physically affectionate with him. It felt nice. “Yeah, kind of. I was sort of just thinking about that right before you came in. It is an awful lot, especially for all in one day. Most of them I don’t even really know all that well. I know Louise the best, but the others I just know a little. But then I thought, well . . . I’ll get to know them. You know. When more time goes by it’ll just happen, sort of all on its own. That’s what happens with new people. Time goes by and then they don’t feel so new anymore. It’s like I was telling Marilyn about her roommate when her roommate was new. You feel like you can’t settle and get used to it because it’s so new, but if you can just open your eyes and look down the road and see that new things don’t stay new forever, then it’s not so hard.”

“That’s a very good way to look at the thing, Stewie. I wonder what Dr. Briggs will say about all this?”

“He’ll probably say, ‘Hmm. That’s interesting.’”

“Interesting? Interesting how?”

“No, never mind. That’s not really what he’ll say. That was just kind of a joke I was telling myself. He’ll say it’s really good.”

“Think so?”

“I know so.”

“Okay, then,” she said. “You get some sleep.”

She kissed him on the forehead and then rose and let herself out of his room. He stopped her at the doorway, though, before she could get away.

“Hey, Stacey.”

“Yeah, Stewie?”

“You think it’s true that all those people asked to adopt me because they like my company?”

“I think it’s indisputable.”

He rolled his eyes, but of course in the dark he knew she wouldn’t see.

“I have no idea what that means.”

“It means yes.”

“That’s a pretty long, complicated way to say yes.”

“Sorry. My bad. I forgot who I was talking to. It means they like you. Everybody likes you.”

“Oh, no,” Stewie said, and shook his head hard in the dark. “Everybody doesn’t like me. Talk to the kids at school if you don’t believe me.”

“Okay, then. Smart people like you.”

“Hmm. That’s interesting.”

“You can live with that, right?”



“Yeah. I guess I can. I can live with that.”

“Now get some sleep,” she said, and closed the door behind her.

And even though Stewie thought his mind was too full of thoughts and ideas for that, he was wrong about it in the end, and he slept.



He walked to school with Theo in the morning, matching his pace to his brother’s uneven stride. Now and then he glanced over his shoulder for possible trouble, but there was never anybody there.

“I guess I’m just a little jealous,” Theo said.

It seemed to Stewie to come out of nowhere. They hadn’t been talking about anything that would make Theo jealous. They hadn’t been talking much at all.

“Of what?”

“I’d like to have grandparents, too, you know.”

“But you do, Theo! You already do.”

“How do you figure? Are you saying you’re going to share them with me?”

“I don’t even need to share them. It’s just the way it already is. They’re my grandparents and you’re my brother, so they’re your grandparents.”

He glanced over at his brother, who looked a little skeptical.

“They might not think so, though, Stewie. Because we’re not all blood relations.”

“Then I’ll just have to explain it to them,” Stewie said. “It’s not even . . . I mean, there’s nothing to argue. It just is. It’s like math, except it’s not math. But like math, sort of, because there’s only one right answer. It’s just . . . what’s the word?”

“Genealogy?”

“I don’t know that word.”

“Like family tree stuff.”

“Yeah. Like that. How do you feel about grandfathers?”



“I don’t know. I never had one. But it sounds like a pretty good idea.”

“Good. Because you’ve already got two. And that’s just . . . what was that word again?”

“Genealogy.”

“That’s a hard word,” Stewie said.

He glanced behind them again, but there was no one there.

“They’re not back there,” Theo said.

“How do you know?”

“Because they take the bus now.”

“Oh,” Stewie said. “Good!”

“Yeah, things are looking up all around,” Theo said.

“I’m not sure I understood that sentence,” Stewie said. “Does it have anything to do with looking up and around?”

“No, it just means everything is better.”

“Oh,” Stewie said. “Then that’s good.”

They walked the rest of the way without talking. Apparently, at least for the moment, nothing more needed to be said.





BOOK CLUB QUESTIONS


The main protagonist in the book, Stewie, takes his responsibility for caring for his grandmother’s chickens and egg delivery business very seriously. When one of his favorite chickens, Mabel, is dying, Stewie tells his sister that he will stay at Mabel’s side because “nobody should have to be alone at a time like that.” What does this say about Stewie’s values as a person? Do you think that some of his reaction to Mabel’s illness comes from losing his grandmother?

Stewie insists that animals know when you care by your actions and your words. He believes they are much easier to connect with than others may think. Do you agree with him? Do you think his sister made the right decision letting him stay home from school to care for Mabel?

In an effort to comfort Stewie after Mabel’s death, Marilyn makes the effort to visit Stewie for the first time. She tells him, “It’s always ‘something is lost, but something else is gained.’” What are some examples in the story that show this to be true?

The book deals in a sensitive way with the many layers and stages of grief. The author explores the concepts of deciding when the time is right to move on, and that experiencing grief is not a straight line. How do Stewie and Marilyn differ in the way they experience grief?

Marilyn and Stewie have a very complicated yet deeply rooted relationship. How does their friendship ultimately help them get through difficult times?

When Stewie hopes to teach Elsie to fly, he soon comes to realize, to his disappointment, that it’s inhumane and not fair to expect Elsie to do something she’s not built to do. Why do you think he worked so hard to help Elsie feel that she is not to blame?

Stewie’s sister worries that he feels responsible for fixing everyone around him. What are some of Stewie’s biggest challenges he has to face to overcome this issue?

One of the many things Stewie takes away from his counseling sessions is that there are no wrong feelings. What do you think his counselor meant by this, and do you agree? Why do you think people tend to bury their emotions, and how does Stewie come to realize that may not be best?

A large part of Stewie’s inner struggle and anger comes from the fact that he never got to say goodbye to his grandmother. Dr. Briggs tells Stewie that “anger is not without its purpose.” He is trying to give Stewie a compass to help him find his own way. What are some of the main insights and healings that Stewie draws from these sessions?

After Marilyn’s death, Stewie becomes despondent about starting to care deeply about people again when they’re just going to die. He weighs out the concept that either you have no one at all in your life, or you have people you care about but risk losing. How does he come to resolve this dilemma and decide how to move forward?





ABOUT THE AUTHOR



Photo ? 2019 Douglas Sonders