Which is good. Because I have other plans.
I hurry down the hall toward the guest bedroom, pausing in the open doorway just in time to see Ash, naked from the waist up, his back to me. He bends over slowly, as if it pains him, and snatches a T-shirt from the bed, then tugs it on.
Deciding I’m a total creeper who needs to make herself noticed, I clear my throat and knock on the door lightly. “Can I come in?”
He keeps his back to me. “As long as you don’t fling a plate of food at me, Callahan, we’re good.”
“I didn’t fling the plate—” I clamp my lips shut, annoyed with myself. I don’t need to defend what happened earlier. I was seriously so shocked by his condition, I couldn’t help but react. And now, as usual, he’s trying to play it off as one big joke.
“I almost wore eggs and bacon this morning.” He turns to face me, and I hold everything in. The words, the pain, the surprise at yet again seeing him like this. His beautiful face, marred. Almost unrecognizable. “All thanks to you.”
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “It was just so…”
“Don’t apologize.” He starts pacing briskly, then immediately slows his steps, and I know he has to hurt. “And don’t—don’t tell anyone what I look like, okay?”
“I won’t talk about you at all,” I promise.
He stops in front of me. “Really? You won’t?”
I shake my head.
“They’re all gonna talk anyway.” He’s not wrong. Our school is one big gossip fest. “I texted with Rylie a little last night before I went to bed, but I didn’t tell her where I was,” he says.
“You didn’t?” Why not?
“I don’t want to bring her into this.”
“Speaking as a someone who’s been a guy’s girlfriend, and depending on how serious you two are, I think she deserves to know. She’ll only worry about you.”
“We’re not really together.” He shrugs, and his admission makes me happy, which means I’m a terrible human. “Why would she give a shit? Why does anyone give a shit?”
Oh. I’ve been around a variety of Ashes, but never a poor, pitiful Ash. “I’m guessing Rylie gives a shit about you. She’s a nice person.”
He squints at me with one eye, since the other is pretty much swollen shut. “You friends with her?”
“Sort of?” My answer is like a question. We’re not close. We have mutual friends.
Ash nods once, then reaches up, tentatively running a hand through is unruly hair. “Rylie won’t like this. This might be too messy for her.”
I’m frowning. “Too messy?”
“She likes things to look a certain way. Sort of like you, Callahan, and your pretend life.” He smiles, but it fades fast.
I’m guessing he saw the hurt flicker in my eyes. I have no idea what he’s talking about, or if that’s an insult. I think it was.
“I have to go.” I smile brightly. Falsely. “See ya later.”
I exit the room before he can say anything else, which he doesn’t.
He doesn’t stop me from leaving either.
Nineteen
The high school is humming with gossip about Ash all morning long, to the point that by lunch I hear a rumor he’s hooked up to machines in a hospital and near death. I remain quiet, though it downright kills me not to correct anyone. All the stories about what happened between Ash and his mother’s boyfriend have a hint of truth wrapped up in a bundle of lies.
I’m in the quad as usual, eating with Kaya, Daphne and our group of friends, when Rylie Altman approaches our table.
Of course she does.
“Hey Autumn.” She smiles, and it immediately wavers. There’s so much emotion swirling in her eyes, I’m afraid she might burst into tears at any moment. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Sure.” I set my sandwich down on its wrapper, ignoring the curious looks Kaya is shooting me. I haven’t even said anything to her, and she’s my best friend. I told her my parents said I couldn’t talk about it, because she knew Ash was with my father yesterday, thanks to Jaden, who was at practice when it happened.
But that’s all she knows. I’ll reveal all when I can, what I can, but right now, I have to stay true to my word.
Stay true to Ash.
I follow Rylie to a little alcove behind the library building, and we both sit on the empty bench with plenty of space between us. I refuse to speak first. She’s the one who wanted to talk to me, and I don’t want to slip and say something I shouldn’t.
She’s the only person on this entire campus who I believe deserves to know what really happened. Even if it’s just glossed-over details, she still should know that Ash has been hurt, but he’s safe. Even though he said they’re not together, they have some sort of connection. Why else would she want to talk to me?
It’s when I hear sniffles that I realize Rylie is crying. I glance over to find she’s sitting with her head bowed, clutched hands resting in her lap. She’s wringing her fingers, the tears falling onto her hands, and I scoot closer to her, slipping my arm around her shoulders and giving her a squeeze.
We’ve barely said more than twenty words to each other in the years we’ve gone to school together, but I hate seeing her pain.
“He won’t talk to me,” she finally says, her voice trembling. “I keep texting him and he won’t respond. I don’t know where he’s at, or how badly he’s been injured. All the rumors are scaring me so bad, and everyone keeps coming up to me since we’re together and I look like an idiot, because I. Don’t. Know!”
The last three words explode out of her and then she starts sobbing in earnest. I think about what she said, that they’re together, when he claimed last night that they’re not. Who’s telling the truth here?
I don’t know.
All I can do is hold Rylie as she cries, pat her back, make sympathetic sounds. I let her get it all out, glaring at anyone who dares to check on us, but there are very few. When she finally quiets, her crying minimalized to a few hiccups and lots of sniffles, I say something.
“He’s safe. He stayed at my house last night.”
Rylie pushes away from me, her tear-filled eyes wide. She’s really pretty, even when she cries—blonde and pink-cheeked, with golden eyes. No wonder Ash is drawn to her. “He’s safe? He stayed at your house?” She rests a hand over her chest. “Your dad is a hero.”
He is my hero, and I don’t like hearing anyone talk about him like that. Makes me feel possessive. “He did the right thing. They were supposed to take Ash to a doctor this morning. Maybe that’s why he hasn’t responded to your texts yet.”
Relief makes Rylie sag a little, and she exhales raggedly. “So he was never in the hospital. Or jail.”
“No. He’s moving slower, and he’s definitely been beat up, but it’s not as bad as everyone is making it out to be,” I reassure her. “And he definitely isn’t in jail.”
“Thank you for letting me know.” Her gaze meets mine, direct and so grateful. This girl is an open book. “Thank you for…” Her voice drifts and she slowly shakes her head. “For letting me cry on your shoulder. Literally.”
We both laugh a little. “You’re welcome. You’re the only person I thought who should know, since you two are—together.”
It took me a second to get that last word out, like the lameass I am. I need to get over my weird feelings for Ash, once and for all. We’re nothing. We’ve never really been anything. All that crap he said to me last year was just that—crap. He didn’t mean a word of it. Plus, he has Rylie now, even if he denies it.
She appears to be totally into him.
“You know, I always thought you two got together when I was a freshman and you were sophomores.” Rylie tilts her head, contemplating me. “During homecoming.”
I sit up straighter, my spine rigid. Not something I want to talk about. No one really paid attention to us during that time.
At least, that’s what I thought.
“I’ve liked Ash for years, since the beginning of my freshman year. So I couldn’t help but notice you two together during homecoming week and I was soooo jealous.” Rylie laughs and laughs, but what she said wasn’t that funny. “Dumb.”