“Okay,” she said finally. “I think this is a bad decision, but I’ve made lots of those.”
This was what he’d learned from being Remy’s shadow: if there was a problem, he was supposed to throw himself at it. He was supposed to let himself get captured so he could try to kill an ancient Blight, was supposed to give up his freedom to make sure the Cabal wouldn’t feel threatened. If there was a terrible task, he was the one who was supposed to do it. If there was a difficult emotion, he was the one who was supposed to feel it.
His golden lashes caught the light as they swept down over his cheek, hiding the smoke of his eyes. “Sometimes there are no good decisions.”
And wasn’t that just the truth. “If I can’t talk you out of it, then how about I distract you? I bet we’ve got a couple minutes before they kick me out.”
His eyebrows went up, clearly astonished. Maybe he thought she’d have a problem with his smoke-filled eyes, or the fact that he was a Blight. Or maybe he thought that no one was crazy enough to want to screw around in a cold, concrete room with someone whose ankle was cuffed to the floor.
Well, welcome to the absolute mess that was Charlie Hall. She reached up and dragged his mouth to hers.
For a moment, he went utterly still, and she wondered if he was going to push her away. Shame heated her cheeks.
Then he kissed her as though he had never thought to do so again, hands cradling the back of her head, fingers in her hair. For a moment, there was only the sensation of lips and teeth and tongue. Of skin, and the scent of him that wasn’t masked by bleach or soap, like a charge of electricity in the air.
And when he pressed her back against the wall like he had outside the bar that first night, she grinned up at him.
“Charlie Hall,” he whispered into her hair. “There will never be anyone like you.”
“For which we can all be grateful,” she whispered back, regretting wearing the stretchy pants, which were hell to get off.
* * *
The hard part was walking out of the room. But she did, stomping down the hall. Waiting for him to call her back to tell her that he’d made a huge mistake and they should run after all. He didn’t, despite how much she wished he would.
Once she’d gone down four flights of stairs, she found her way back to Bellamy and his red velvet beanbag. He wasn’t alone. Vicereine was there, and Malik. Neither of them seemed particularly surprised to see her, but they also didn’t seem happy about it.
“Hello,” Charlie said, brushing past Malik to find a cushion of her own to settle on.
“You did us a service,” he said. “The Cabal owes you something. We like to settle our debts. If the larger world gets involved, our disputes will only make them nervous.”
“We reward our friends,” Vicereine said. “And punish our enemies. You’ve proved to be our friend, Charlie Hall.”
Pirate justice. Carrot and stick.
“We want to help you,” Malik said. “Ask us for something.”
“You know what I want,” Charlie said. “Let him go. Or at least let him be unbound. Haven’t you learned from the last Hierophant?”
“What we learned was not to trust Blights,” Malik said. “Imagine how much worse it would have been if the Hierophant had been unbound.”
“Not worse for Stephen,” Charlie said.
“Stephen stole shadows,” said Bellamy. “Quickened shadows, shadows of vulnerable people. Sold them to dealers. Don’t have too much sympathy for him.”
Malik nodded. “And the problem wasn’t Stephen. We believe that Lionel dosed him with something that allowed the Hierophant to take possession of his body. Over time, it either learned how to do that on its own—or they continued to drug him.
“Ask us for something that doesn’t have to do with the Blight. You’d be surprised what we can make happen.”
Charlie supposed the Cabal could give her a lot of stuff. Her sister re-registered for school in the spring. A scholarship. Pay off Charlie’s medical debt while they were at it. Get her a spanking new car. Hell, they might give her Salt’s Phantom if she asked.
But Posey had never wanted to go to college, and Charlie didn’t want to be bribed. “I want you to let Vince go.”
Malik made a frustrated sound.
She couldn’t help it. It was her nature. Charlie Hall, refusing to learn from her mistakes. Eager to throw herself against the same wall again and again, no matter how much it hurt. “What did Adeline Salt give you to let her become his guardian?”
Bellamy looked surprised. “I think you misunderstand the situation.”
“You’re letting her take him home, aren’t you?” Charlie said.
Vicereine gave a cruel little smile. “In a manner of speaking. But this isn’t something she chose. Do you know what she will be expected to do?”
“Hunt Blights,” Charlie said.
“And do you know why it’s considered a punishment, a way to make up for past crimes?”
“Because it’s dangerous?” she guessed.
“Very,” said Malik in slightly horrified tones.
What was it that Balthazar had told Charlie—that she could steal the breath from a body, the hate from a heart, the moon from the sky? Well, in this case, maybe she didn’t need to steal anything. Maybe they’d give her everything she wanted.
All it would cost was her secrets.
Charlie pasted a smile on her face. Glanced at the old “fear less” tattoo looping across the skin of her inner arm. “Fine,” she said, through gritted teeth. “In that case, I’d like to confess.”
“Confess?” Vicereine echoed, puzzled.
“Do you remember when Brayan Araya had his secrets written with a laser on grains of rice and kept them in a glass jar under his pillow? I snatched that like I was the tooth fairy. Or remember when Eshe Godwin got that book with all the detailed illustrations and no one could make head or tail of it? The secrets were written in the artwork, so I cut those pages straight out. I’m not sure she’s opened it up to know they’re missing. I took Owain Cadwallader’s eighteenth-century memoir and discovered a whole pile of notes stitched into the interior binding of another book—I forget the title, but it had these cool metal catches on the side—and took those without anyone being the wiser. Oh, and I grabbed Jaden Coffey’s whole collection of seventies shadow magic zines. Want me to go on? I’ve been doing this for years.” She felt giddy, like she was sliding down a hill, no way to stop now. All the exultation of finally admitting to something.
“You cut out pages from Eshe’s book?” Vicereine sounded pissed.
“I’m a bad person.” Charlie reached into the pocket of her jeans, took something out, and threw it to Malik. Startled, he caught it. When he looked at what was in his hands, his brows drew together. “I also grabbed your wallet when I brushed by you. Sorry.”
“You are making some very dangerous enemies,” Vicereine told her.
“What’s all this about?” Malik was tight-jawed. “What are you doing?”
“Punish me,” Charlie said. “I’m loads worse than Adeline.”
“You want it tied to you?” Bellamy asked.
The idea of someone inside her head, someone she couldn’t hide her worst thoughts from, someone she loved, made her feel a little queasy. “Yes. Reward or punishment, give him to me. I’ll be the Hierophant.”
* * *
When Vince came into the room, necklaces of onyx draped over his throat, and one attached to his arm like a leash, his eyes changed at the sight of her. He turned to Bellamy. “But where’s Adeline?”
“We sent her home,” Malik said.
“Then who—”
“Me,” Charlie said. “If you can make a stupid decision, then I can make one too.”
He shook his head. “This is supposed to be a punishment.”
“Oh, I know,” she said. “You’re going to be stuck in my head, with all my secrets. Even I don’t know all my secrets. It’s going to be awful.”
He appeared to be seriously considering strangling her. “Char.”
“She’s volunteered,” Vicereine said. “And confessed to quite a few crimes just to convince us.”
The look he gave her was scathing. “Did she?”