The ship is a lot bigger than I originally anticipated. It looked big on the outside, but moving through the empty halls makes me realize just how vast the interior is. The long hallways wind and twist, and I pass door after door, some of them rusted shut, others with flashing red lights on their panels. It’s obvious that this ship has been in a crash, and it’s also obvious that it’s been cannibalized for parts at some point. There are panels removed and loose wiring here and there, and stacks of things set into corners. Old footprints cover the floor gratings from long-dried mud. There’s a faint musty smell in the air.
Aehako’s big body is a few steps behind mine, and each movement makes the floor shake and rattle, as if a hundred metal plates are upended with every step. I cringe at each movement, worried the floor won’t hold us both.
The track lighting in the floor stops in front of a yawning archway with a seam down the middle. It looks as if it might be double doors. It looks like part of the wall, but there’s writing of some kind on one side, and a control panel on the other. A broken light flickers overhead and then goes dark.
The moment it does, the chirping sounds in my earpiece again. Report back on what you see. Are the stasis pods intact?
“Please, open up,” I say, pressing my hand to the door. “I need this thing out of me!”
The metal is warm under my hand, which surprises me. It gives a small shiver and creaks open, and I step inside.
“Kira?” Aehako asks as I enter. “Be careful.”
The time for being careful is past. I just want this thing gone. I put a hand to the translator and walk into the room, gazing at my surroundings.
I’m not going to lie, it looks a bit like a laboratory. That’s scary. There’s tables, and a few benches, and a row of space-like cots jutting from a wall in the distance. Another wall is nothing but screens and monitors. As I step inside, they fire up one by one, scrolling unintelligible words across the screens.
I swallow hard. I don’t like the looks of this, but I’ve never been a fan of the doctor’s office. “Do you have something that can remove foreign objects, computer?”
“There is a self-assisted surgery compartment,” the computer intones. “I shall activate it.”
Self-assisted surgery? Not high on the list of things I want to have done. I’m even more alarmed when one of the walls opens up and spits out a long bed. Monitors flicker and dance with messages.
“Please enter the surgical compartment.”
I swallow hard and walk slowly toward the bed. I can do this. It’s just like getting a CAT scan back home, right? No big deal. I’m sure these people have – or rather, had – some sort of anesthesia or pain numbing sort of thing. Even if they don’t, it still has to come out.
I still have nightmares of when the aliens implanted the thing in my head. Of being held down and strapped down to a table, their voices chirping around me. Of the cool metal object placed against my ear…and then things burrowing into my brain, sending blinding pain through my body. I’d had a migraine for a week after it was implanted.
I can’t imagine what the extraction is going to be like.
Mouth dry, I sit gingerly on the edge of the bed.
“Please lay flat upon the indicated pallet.” The computer’s voice is changing, turning into a gentle, soothing counterpart. Bedside manner, perhaps. Whatever it is, I relax a little and start to lie down.
Aehako immediately appears at my side and grips my hand in his. “Kira.”
“What is it?”
He looks at the walls, full of monitors and flashing lights and computerized technology that I can’t comprehend. He looks…more than a little alarmed. This must be terrifying for him. His hand squeezes mine. “You do not have to have this thing removed. I will protect you from the aliens with my life.”
I give him a wan smile. “Aehako, they have laser guns and technology that both you and I can’t even comprehend. Spears and slings won’t do much against them. If they want to take me, there’s nothing I can do to stop them. I’m trying to get rid of this thing because I want to hide, not because I think you can’t protect me.”
His broad face studies me, and I can see the worry etched in his ridged brow and the set of his jaw. He doesn’t like this, not one bit. It’s startling to see in one as easygoing as Aehako.
“You can let go of my hand now,” I tease, trying to keep my voice light.
“Kira,” he says, and his voice is low and husky. Instead of moving away, he leans in. He clasps my hand tighter in his and presses it against his breast. “Be my mate.”
I stare up at his big body in shock. Was that…the alien version of a marriage proposal? “Your mate? But I thought we had to resonate—“
He shakes his head, big horns cutting through the air. My hand is pressed against his thudding heart, the tough, platy ridges covering it. “We will not be resonance mates. Just mates.”
“What’s the difference?”
He stares at me, so intent and serious. His other hand reaches out and brushes lightly along my jaw in a tender caress. “We choose to be mated to each other until we are separated.”
“Separated?”
“By death or by khui.”
I can’t decide if this is romantic or heartbreaking. “But if you resonate for someone—“
“I will not.”
“But how do you know?”
“I don’t. All I know is that you are my mate, and I will not listen to anyone or anything – even my khui – that says otherwise.”
Yeah, and I’m sure his newly resonated mate would just love that.
He’s looking at me, waiting for an answer, though. And I’m…torn. Not because I don’t want to be his mate. The thought sends happiness shooting through me. Aehako and I have flirted for weeks now, and he’s shown himself to be caring and funny and kind and just all around wonderful. If I could pick a guy for my mate here on this frozen ice ball of a planet? It’d absolutely be him.
But I’m barren. I can’t have kids.
We’d just be mates until his khui decides that it’s time for him to add to the gene pool. Then he’ll mate with Harlow, or Claire, or one of the other unmated humans, and I’ll be left all alone. Again.
And I don’t know if I can take the abandonment. I’m not strong like Liz or Georgie. I’m weak and wimpy and the thought of being put aside for a new mate hurts fiercely. And I’ve seen Aehako around the others. He comes from a good-sized family. He loves his mom and dad, and his younger siblings. I’d be robbing him of everything but my company if I agreed to be his mate. I can’t have children. I’ll never resonate for him. If he pins his hopes on me someday resonating for him? He’s in for a rude awakening.
It’s something he deserves to know before I make up my mind.
I should tell him. I look up at his big, broad face.
The words that come out are, “Do you want children?”
Aehako blinks in surprise. I can tell the question wasn’t one he expected. But it’s worth asking. If he doesn’t want children, I’ll feel better as his ‘mate’. Maybe because at that point, I’ll know that I’ll still have a place in his heart even if his khui kicks in and decides he should be a daddy. But his words shatter that hope. “Of course I want children.” A slow smile curves his mouth. “What man doesn’t dream of a family of his own?”
I feel about as big as an ant. A tiny smushed ant ground into the carpet. I let go of his hand. “Okay, that’s what I wanted to know. Thank you.”
He laughs and cups my face in his big hands. “Kira, do not worry so. I have seen the khui resonate amongst those mated for many years. It is as if it can sense the love between two people and decides to unite them in every way.”
Yeah, right. More like the khui gives up and gives one last shake just to get a little something out of its host. I don’t think it’s as romantic as he thinks. And it wouldn’t happen anyhow. I give him a thin smile. “We’ll talk about it when I get out, okay?”