Things We Know by Heart

Before I can finish, a cute blond girl who looks vaguely familiar steps out of the shop. “Hey, Colt, can you get the—”

She stops short when she sees me, looks from me to Colton and back again. “Oh hi. I’m sorry. I didn’t know there was anyone else out here. Can I help you with something?” Her tone is friendly and helpful, like I’m a customer.

My stomach drops, and I stand there without saying anything for a moment. This is Shelby. The Shelby whose words and thoughts I’ve read. Whose joys and fears I’ve seen. Who I feel like I know, maybe even better than Colton.

My conscience comes rushing back at me, the full weight of all my rules and the reasons I’ve broken them behind it.

“I was actually just going,” I say quickly. Meeting Colton was one thing, but this is a line I didn’t even anticipate crossing.

“Wait—what about kayaking?” Colton says, like it’s something we were in the middle of discussing. His eyes catch mine for a tiny moment, and something flickers through them.

“I, um . . . I changed my mind.” My mouth goes dry, and I take a step back. “Maybe another day? I didn’t mean to bother you at work.”

“Wait,” Colton says again. “You’re not—it’s fine. I was off work a half hour ago.”

Shelby laughs at this. “Wait—all that aimless pacing earlier was work?”

Colton shoots her a look, then turns his eyes back to me. “Quinn, this is my little big sister, Shelby. Shelby, my friend Quinn. She had her first kayak experience yesterday, and now she’s back for more. Think we might head over to the caves again.”

Shelby raises an eyebrow at Colton, then smiles and reaches out her hand “Always nice to meet a friend of Colton’s,” she says, a hint of something in her voice. It’s the same tone I got from the nurses at the hospital at first, and I deserve it. She gives me a quick smile, then turns back to Colton.

“That’s awesome, but you’re booked already, Colt.” I can hear it in her voice. She doesn’t want him to go anywhere with me.

“Booked?” Colton laughs. “I’m not booked. I’m not even allowed—”

Shelby gives him a look. “Exactly.”

“C’mon,” he says, stepping toward her. His eyes plead, and there’s something in his voice that sounds like it has to do with more than just me.

She puts up a hand. “Don’t. Mom and Dad would kill me—you know that.” Her eyes, level and serious, stay on his.

Colton sighs, exasperated, then seems to remember me and smiles, but this time it’s tighter, more for show. “Dad’s not here, Shel. And besides, she’s not a customer, she’s a friend.”

“Colton, I can’t because they’re not here. And he left me in charge. And if something happened—”

“Nothing’s gonna happen. We won’t take a shop kayak. I’ll take Dad’s—it’s in the back.”

Shelby heaves a heavy sigh and chews her bottom lip, clearly debating. “That’s not the point.”

“Then what is?” Colton says, with more force behind his voice than I’ve heard him use yet. “It’ll be fine. I’m fine.” He brings his hand to his chest for a moment, which maybe wouldn’t be a noticeable thing for anyone else, but I understand it and so does she.

“Colton—” There’s a waver in her voice, like she’s torn.

“Say yes,” he says, flashing a dimpled smile. “Please. Quinn wants to kayak, she’s a beginner, and it wouldn’t be right to let her go alone. Dad would be pissed if we did and he found out about that.”

Shelby looks at Colton for a moment longer, and I can see her reluctance turn to resignation, and it makes me think of the post she wrote about Colton’s first time back out on the water, and how proud and happy he was to be back doing what he loved, even though it made her whole family nervous.

“Fine,” she says after a long moment. “But you have to be back in a few hours. I have a four-person tour at three o’clock, and you really do have an appointment.” She holds his eyes for a long moment. “Don’t forget your—”

“Got it,” Colton cuts her off.

“And make sure you take your phone with you,” she adds, “and if anything happens—”

He wraps an arm around her shoulders and gives her a squeeze. “We’ll be fine, I promise. Right?” He looks at me, and all of a sudden I feel this big sense of responsibility. This is his sister I’m talking to, the one who’s been with him and supported him and helped take care of him all along. Who worries about him more in the way a mom would than a sibling.

I glance at Shelby, asking for some kind of approval, but the smile she gives me doesn’t seem to grant it.

“Right,” I say finally, and the word feels heavy on my tongue. Laden, somehow, with responsibility and the knowledge that I’ve just sunk myself in even deeper.

Colton claps his hands. “Good. I’m gonna pull around back to load the boat up, and I’ll meet you out front in a minute.”

“Okay.” I nod. “I’ll just . . . I’ll go get my bag.” I turn to head back to my car, not wanting to stand there alone with Shelby, but she stops me with a gentle hand on my arm.

She glances down at the stitches in my lip. “You’re the girl Colton took to the hospital the other day?”

My heart pounds in my chest under her direct look. “Yes.”

“Be careful,” she says, looking me right in the eye. “Those aren’t supposed to get wet.”

I know she’s talking about the stitches, but I can’t help but hear the echo of the nurse’s be careful when she says the words. I nod like I would to my mom telling me something.

“I will.” I take a step back. “It was nice to meet you.”

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