Chapter 37
I awoke to an empty room. Alex apparently had kept his word and left when things got bad. I hadn’t even felt any weakness, but I guess my sleeping blocked it out. I felt good, actually, for the first time in a while.
I felt charged, like my peaceful dream had reenergized my body.
My stomach let out a growl. Apparently it wanted to be reenergized too.
I got to my feet and padded to my bedroom door. The house was quiet, so I assumed everyone was asleep. As I stepped out into the hall, I noticed something wasn’t right. I couldn’t quite place my finger on what it was, only that something was off…or missing maybe.
I shook off the feeling and tiptoed downstairs, giving a quick glance into the living room where Alex usually slept.
But the couch was empty.
I scratched my head and started to turn away. Maybe he was sleeping in one of the guest rooms, but something caught my eye that made me pause.
An envelope with my name printed on it lay on the table.
Something about it made my stomach drop. I flipped on the light and stared at it for a while, too afraid to open it. Finally, with shaking hands I picked it up, tore it open, and took out the folded piece of paper inside it.
I took an unsteady breath and unfolded the paper.
Gemma
I know you may not understand why I need to leave, but I need you to try. I don’t believe that your end comes when you think. I believe there is another way, and I’m going to do whatever it takes to find it. But I can’t do it while I’m around you. I can’t keep hiding what I feel, but if I let it all out, I know it will be the end for both of us. And I can’t let that happen.
I will always save you, Gemma, I just need you to hang on until I do.
Alex
The letter slipped from my fingers and floated to the floor like a feather as I stood there, stunned.
I will always save you.
He had said this to me once before, in a dream. But how could he leave without saying anything to anyone. And then it dawned on me, and I took off up the stairs. Without bothering to knock, I barged into the room where Laylen slept and turned on the lights.
He jumped out of bed, startled by my appearance and blinked at me with tired eyes.
“What the heck are you doing?” he asked, rubbing the tiredness from his eyes.
“Please tell me you didn’t know,” I said, trying to stay as calm as possible.
His face fell. He knew.
“But you’re supposed to tell me everything,” I said in an alarming high-pitch voice. “We tell each other everything.” He sighed and ran his fingers through his blond hair, which was sticking up in all kinds of directions. “I couldn’t tell you this.”
I walked into the room and sank down on the foot of the bed. “Why not?”
“Because I agreed with him.” He sat down next to me.
“He needed to leave…it was too hard for him to keep turning off what he felt for you.” He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me against his bare chest. “If he stuck around, you two would end up killing one another.”
“But he thinks he can find a way to save me,” I whispered.
“At least that’s what he said in the note.” Laylen pulled me tighter against him. “And maybe he will.”
I twisted the ring on my finger—my supposed loophole.
My heart was breaking. I got where Alex was coming from. I got that our feelings for one another were getting harder and harder to control. But it didn’t make the empty void inside my heart feel any better about him leaving.
He left.
I can’t believe he left.
I turned over my hand and stared at the fresh cut. “Do you know what he promised me?” I asked, glancing up at Laylen.
Laylen nodded. “He promised you everything would be alright…and maybe it will.”
“Maybe,” I said, but the hole in my heart told me otherwise.
We sat there in the quiet, and I could feel the hole in my heart growing bigger with each passing moment.
“He told me to keep an eye on you,” Laylen finally said.
“While he was gone.”
“I don’t need to be watched,” I said. “I can take care of myself.”
“Yeah, you can, but you’re also precious cargo,” he tried to joke. “And precious cargo needs to be taken care of.”
“I am not precious cargo.” I frowned more at myself than at him and I could feel this icky bitter feeling building up inside me. “I’m destructive…without me, there would be no star, and therefore, there would be no problems.” He pulled away from me so he could look me in the eye.
“That’s why he told me to keep an eye on you…he didn’t want you to sink into this sad pit of despair because he was gone…You need to keep going—we need to find a way to save you.”
“Why does everyone want to save me?” I asked. “And what about Alex—he needs to be saved just as much as I do.”
“Everyone wants to save you because you’re worth saving, Gemma,” Laylen said. “Haven’t you figured that out yet?”
I shook my head as tears dripped down my cheeks. I wanted to say something, but there were no words, so instead I leaned my head on his shoulder and cried until I was too tired to keep my eyes open. Then I went back to my bedroom and drifted to sleep, dreaming of fires, stars, and the missing pieces of my heart.