"Unless it's Wes," she said, clarifying.
I just looked at her. "That's different. He's in a relationship, too, so it's not weird or anything."
Her eyes widened. "Oh, my God!" she said, slapping a hand over her mouth. "I totally get it now."
"Get what?"
She didn't answer me. Instead, she leaned over the bed, rummaging beneath it for a few seconds. I could hear things clanking against each other—what did she have down there??and glanced at Monica, who just exhaled, shrugging. Then Kristy lifted up her head.
"You and Wes," she said, triumphant, "are just like this."
She was holding a book, a paperback romance. The title, emblazoned in gold across the cover, was Forbidden, and the picture beneath it was of a man in a pirate outfit, eye patch and all, clutching a small, extremely busty woman to his chest. In the background, there was a deserted island surrounded by blue water.
"We're pirates?" I said.
She tapped the book with one fingernail. "This story," she said, "is all about two people who can't be together because of other circumstances. But secretly, they pine and lust for each other constantly, the very fact that their love is forbidden fueling their shared passion."
"Did you just make that up?"
"No," she said, flipping the book over to read the back cover. "It's right here! And it's totally you and Wes. You can't be together, which is exactly why you want to be. And why you can't admit it to us, because that would make it less secret and thus less passionate."
I rolled my eyes. Monica, across the room, said, "Hmmm," as if all of this actually made sense.
Kristy put the book on the bed between us. "I have to admit," she said wistfully, crossing her arms over her chest, "an unrequited love is so much better than a real one. I mean, it's perfect."
"Nothing's perfect," I said.
"Nothing real," she replied. "But as long as something is never even started, you never have to worry about it ending. It has endless potential." She sighed, the same way she'd sighed at seeing Wes running by without a shirt: with emphasis, and at length. "So romantic. No wonder you don't want to go out with Sherman."
I was distracted, thinking about what she'd said, until she got to this last part. "Sherman?" I said.
She nodded. "That's John and Craig's friend. He's visiting from Shreveport."
"Sherman from Shreveport?" I said. "This is the guy you're determined I go out with?"
"You can't judge a book by its cover!" she snapped. When I slid my eyes toward Forbidden, she grabbed it up, shoving it back under the bed. "You know what I mean. Sherman might be very nice."
"I'm sure he is," I said. "But I'm not interested."
She just looked at me. "Of course not," she said finally. "Why would you be, when you have your very own sexy, misunderstood pirate Silus Branchburg Turlock to pine for?"
"Who?"
"Oh, just forget it," she said, getting up and stomping out of the room. A second later the bathroom door swung shut with a bang. I looked at Monica, who was staring out the window, her face impassive as always.
"Sherman." Saying it aloud, it sounded even more ludicrous. "From Shreveport."
"Donneven?" she said slowly, exhaling.
"Exactly."
And so it was that at ten-fifteen, when John and Craig and Sherman from Shreveport pulled into the driveway, headlights flashing just once before going dark again, I crept outside, following Kristy down the stairs. Stella didn't stir as Monica eased the door shut behind us, then started over to the car, the guy in the passenger seat climbing out to meet her. Kristy waved at the driver, who waved back, then turned to me. There was someone else in the backseat, but I couldn't make out a face: just a form, leaning against the window.
"Last chance to change your mind," she said to me, her voice low.
"Sorry," I told her. "Maybe another time."
She shook her head, clearly not buying this, then pushed her purse up her arm. "Your loss," she said, but she squeezed my arm as she started over to the car. "Call me tomorrow."
"I'll do that," I said.
As she got closer, the guy driving smiled at her, then opened the back door. "Watch out for Sherman," he said as she started to get inside. "He started his night a few hours ago, and now he's already out."
"What?" Kristy said.
"Don't worry," the guy told her, getting back behind the wheel. "We think he puked up everything he had in him already. So you should be okay."
Kristy looked at the slumped body beside her, then at me, and I raised my eyebrows. She shrugged before pulling the door shut and waving to me as the car slowly backed out of the driveway and up to the road, the engine chugging softly.