It’s scary dark. I put on my reflective tape, hoping I’m not about to become a life lesson. Since I got myself into this mess, there’s nothing for me to do but go home. Shortly after I set out, my cell phone rings. A glance tells me it’s Aunt Gabby, and I don’t want to listen to a lecture while I’m trying to keep from being run over by semis, so I let it go to voice mail. Then I text her, I’m fine. Home late.
Hopefully that will keep her from losing her mind. After this, she’ll probably send me back to the group home, something I’ve tried so hard to avoid by being the best possible kid in the whole world. But now I just don’t care anymore.
My bike wobbles as cars zoom past me. I hope that nobody stops. And they don’t. People don’t care as much as they used to, or maybe they’re scared. I might be a lunatic or a lure, so when they pause to rescue a girl alone at night, six armed men will burst out of the bushes and mug them. Whatever. I wouldn’t get in a car unless they sedated me anyway. My principles feel like all I’ve got left.
Four hours later, I’ve never been in so much pain. My thighs burn, my arms ache, my back, too. Hell, even my ass hurts. It’s close to midnight now. I’ve got twelve messages and twenty texts from Aunt Gabby. I answer periodically so she knows I’m not dead in a ditch. That’s all I can manage at the moment, as the drainage area beside the road is starting to look inviting.
Eventually, I pass a green sign that tells me I’m ten miles from town. That’s an hour if I can pick up the pace. I’ll be home by 1:00 a.m. Jesus. I’m so cold I can’t feel my fingers anymore; it’s like they’re frozen to the handlebars. Seems like it’s almost chilly enough to snow, but lucky me, I get rain instead. The clouds open up as I pedal on, leaving me soaked and shivering.
I can’t do this. I can’t.
But somehow, pressing on has become the only thing in the world that matters anymore, like I’ll be giving up on myself and Shane if I stop moving. So I move my numb feet on the pedals, round and round. I haven’t seen any cars for a while, so I’m startled when a truck swerves off the road and stops on the shoulder in front of me. The rain pounds the pavement, glimmering red in the taillights.
If this is Dylan, I think I have to kill him. As I consider whether I can strangle him with my bike lock, my aunt jumps out of the passenger seat. I realize this one is silver, not black. Right. This is Joe’s truck.
I can hardly process what Gabby’s saying, my mind is working so slow. She’s yelling at me and hugging me, and saying stuff like Do you know how long we looked for you? We’ve been driving up and down between here and the motel all night.
I just stare at her and she sighs. “Get in the truck, Sage.”
She’s soaking wet too now. My teeth are chattering with cold. Joe swings down from the driver’s seat and I back up. If she lets him manhandle me, if he puts me bodily in the cab, I will never forgive either of them. This is the only choice I have left, and I’ll break into a million pieces if they take it away from me. I don’t care that it’s stupid. I started this journey for Shane, my way, and I’ll finish it for him, even if they think I’m insane.
“What do you want to do?” Joe asks my aunt.
“Get my bike out of the back.”
What? She’s gonna ride with me? No.
“You can go home. I’m okay.” I’m not. I’m freezing and drowning and sadder than I’ve ever been in my life, because my mom didn’t care, and Shane’s dad doesn’t, and I’m hurting Gabby, the only person who’s cared about me in years.
Aunt Gabby grabs my shoulders as Joe lifts her bike from the back of his truck. “I don’t know how much you’re hearing right now, but understand this: I love you. And I will never, ever leave you. No matter what you do or where you go, I’m there for you. If you need to ride a bike home in the pouring rain, I’ll be right behind you.” Then she’s hugging me so hard that it hurts.