Chapter 46
(Gemma)
Death wasn t bad. Death was warm and bright and weightless, like air. It was like I d soared off to the sun, away from my pain, forgetting everything.
Until I heard the Banshee wail and I opened my eyes.
Then I remembered the bargain I d made with Helena. I d promised her my soul, handing it to her on a silver platter. To her, it was the best kind of soul. In exchange, Alex would live, continuing on with his life, free from his father and the star.
It might have seemed like a crazy choice, but once Helena spoke it, I knew there wasn t a choice left. When faced with the option to save everyone and only have to let myself go, I had to pick death. Otherwise I d never have been able to live with myself.
And so we meet again.
Helena s old tattered body was perched in her throne. Her silver eyes were eager, happy to collect my soul.
And so we do,
I said, stepping onto the red podium, no longer afraid. What was done was done.
So what do I do now? Become your slave? Turn into one of your mummies?
Her lip twitched at my tone.
You do whatever I want you to do.
Then she clapped her hands.
In fact I have the perfect place for you. You will live inside my ring, close by, where I can always feed off your power.
My power’s dead.
I spat.
There s nothing left inside me.
You sound very ungrateful.
She stood to her feet, her twiggy legs wobbling her toward me.
Must I remind you that this was your choice you wanted this.
It was never a choice.
I got in her face, not angry, not calm, not anything.
I did what I had to do.
She tipped back her crinkled head.
You re a stupid little girl. And I m going to eat you up.
She paused with a clever look in her silver eyes.
I think I have a better place for you.
Then she opened her hollow mouth, her breath stinking of a corpse.
You can live inside me.
I stood inert as she breathed me in. I didn t feel like working up a fight. I felt like my old self, empty and numb emotionless. I shut my eyes, preparing for my real end, hoping I could go into the dark forever.
Helena.
My eyes snapped open. Behind the throne was Annabella. Her white lily hair blew like fire. Her red lips were pursed, and her silver eyes narrowed.
Let her go,
Annabella said.
She s not yours to take.
Helena whirled, her crippled body popping as she stormed for Annabella.
This doesn t concern you.
Annabella stepped slowly onto the podium and swished her black dress to the side. As they stood in front of each other, Helena was much smaller than Annabella.
You feel that,
Annabella whispered.
You can t take her soul because it belongs to someone else.
She gave it to me!
Helena roared, stomping her foot.
I can take it!
You ve always been so greedy,
Annabella said.
No wonder mother liked you less.
Helena s hands moved for Annabella s throat.
I hate you!
Annabella seized her hands, trapping her in place.
Her soul is connected to another. You can t have it, even if you made a bargain with her. You have no right and if I have to, I ll bring down mother to talk to you.
Helena kicked and yanked, like a child.
We had a bargain! We had a bargain!
Annabella s eyes fired ferociously.
I m going to take her now. She s not staying.
Then she let Helena go.
Helena sank to the floor, her head falling into her hands as she wailed.
Annabella extended her hand.
Come with me, Gemma.
Given the two choices, I took Annabella s hand.
Where are we going?
She led me to the back of the throne and a light curtained around us.
To your mother.
She carried us away in a light full of essence and warmth and landed us underneath the cape of the willow tree. Then Annabella was no longer there. The branches danced around my mother and me as we faced each other, unblinking.
Mom.
I threw my arms around her neck and sobbed.
I thought I d never see you again.
She smoothed my hair.
Shhh & everything s going to be okay.
She let me have a moment, let my tears soak her shirt. Then she pulled me away so she could look at me.
Do you know why you re here?
I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand and sniffed.
Because I crossed over. I m essence now.
She shook her head, her dark hair twirling in the wind.
You re here because of who you are.
Who am I?
I asked.
This is all so confusing.
You re my daughter, brave and loving. Both are wonderful gifts.
I think you re wrong.
I frowned.
Those don t sound like me at all.
She smiled delicately.
But they are, Gemma. They really are.
Is that why I was freed from Helena?
I tucked my hair behind my ears.
Because I sacrificed my life.
She walked for the middle of the tree, her blue dress whipping behind her.
You re here because everything happens for a reason. You re here because both of you made the sacrifice.
I m not sure I understand.
I followed her.
Both of us made the sacrifice. Did Alex die too?
She quickly shook her head.
You re here because you carry the soul of another, which means Helena can t make a bargain with just you. She d also have to make one with Alex. No one can own either of your souls without the other.
So I m an essence?
I turned over my arms, wondering if I was going to turn into an orb.
Is that what you want?
Her blue eyes were pressing.
Do you want to be here?
Do I have another choice?
She sat down on the grass.
If you choose to say here with me you can. But if you choose to leave, you can go back to your life.
My life,
I whispered, a gentle breeze kissing at my cheeks.
If you want.
I sat down on the ground beside her and plucked at the grass, thinking about my life.
But why is Annabella letting me go? Why doesn t she keep me?
Because she can let you go,
my mother said.
She could either let you go or take you both. You and Alex are bonded take one, they have to take you both.
We re bonded together forever.
But why not just take us both?
I know this is hard for you to understand, but not everything is evil.
She picked a violet flower from the ground and spun it in her fingers.
What you did to save the lives of everyone else that was the very essence of good. You need to understand that everything isn t evil in the world. There is also good.
And Annabella s good?
I let go of the pieces of grass and watched them blow into the garden full of lilies, roses, and vines twisting from the trees.
Annabella is what she chooses to be,
she said.
Just like you can.
I swallowed hard, letting it sink in. I didn t expect this. I thought I became a Lost Soul.
I know. And that s why you re one of the good ones. You went into this blind.
She paused, handing me the violet flower.
So what will it be, Gemma? Do you choose life? Or death?
I stared at the flower as it rested in the palm of my hand.
What about you?
I m right where I belong,
she said.
It s you that needs a place.
I don t think I can leave you,
I muttered.
Knowing I ll never see you again. You took your own life to save me. Why don t you get a choice?
We ll see each other again.
She squeezed my hand.
This isn t good-bye forever.
I thought about life, about the pain I d been through. But the tiniest moments the stolen kisses, the whispered words, the possibilities helped me to choose. I released the flower and let the wind carry it away to the unknown.
I want to go back.
White and red flower petals blew through the air as she nodded and stood to her feet, brushing the grass off her dress.
One last good-bye before you go.
I hugged her with all I had in me, not wanting to let go, but knowing I had to. When I backed away, she was gone and Annabella stepped out from behind the tree.
You choose life?
She asked.
Is that your final decision?
I nodded.
I choose life.