Chapter 37
(Gemma)
She blobbed down the hall, a silver body of fluid, leading me to her sister, Annabella. This place was different, haunting like a whisper of wind. White wisps of ribbon danced around and coiled up the leafless trees that lined the garden we walked in.
She s going to want something,
Helena said.
An essence perhaps, if you have one.
What exactly is an essence?
I asked, blowing a ribbon from my face.
A spirit,
she answered, smoothing the wrinkles from her body.
So what s the difference between a soul and a spirit?
A spirit is the ghostly form of a person,
she replied.
They are still themselves, possess their soul, can walk and talk on their own. It s what happens to humans when they die. And Lost Souls are the ones disconnected from their bodies, the ones that are lost due to a death before their time.
I thought of Nicholas and how he walked the world.
So why torture the Lost Souls?
Why does anyone torture anything?
She smiled with her thick lips of silver.
For power.
But you lost your own soul,
I said.
You d think you d be more sympathetic.
Sympathy is weakness. Something you should keep in mind before you make your decision.
She swirled down the path, a shimmer of light in the white sunlight.
You re a powerful girl, I can sense that. But your humanity makes you weak.
I think you re wrong.
I stood tall with confidence.
It s my humanity that makes me strong.
Her lips twitched.
You re a stupid little girl.
Perhaps,
I said.
But maybe not.
We neared the end of our journey. A woman stood beneath a large willow tree, her hair as white as cotton, her lips as red as a cherry, and her eyes sparkling with silver. She watched us approach, her gaze never faltering, her long black dress trailing in the grass.
Annabella,
Helena s voice nipped.
Annabella lowered her head.
Helena, I d sensed you d crossed.
Of course you did.
Helena stretched her body, trying to rise taller than her sister.
You always do.
Annabelle s eyes were kind.
And you ve brought someone who wants something from me.
I stepped below the branches of the willow tree.
I ve come to ask you for a favor.
You want me to free an essence.
It s wasn t a question.
I nodded.
If you would.
But why?
She ducked under a branch and stepped in front of me.
Why ask for the freedom of someone you dislike.
I don t dislike him.
But you don t like him,
she said.
Yet you re still here in death, asking me to let him live again.
I sighed deeply.
Nicholas & he isn t that bad. And he s helped me out.
It was the partial truth.
Is that the only reason?
She wanted more.
I let out a breath.
I feel responsible for his death.
But he s not a Lost Soul,
she said.
No one is responsible for his death.
The branches pirouetted, tickling against my cheeks.
Perhaps he should have ended up one.
Why do you feel responsible for things that are out of your hands?
she asked.
He died because I exist,
I admitted in the secrecy of the branches canopy.
Many people have.
It s not your fault you exist,
she said.
Everyone has a path in life, even the Lost Souls. They re there because they have to be. They re there because they re lost.
This is confusing.
I sighed, swatting a branch away.
Death always is.
Her silver eyes held my gaze powerfully
You re better than you think you are, Gemma. Your soul is pure, despite what you think.
Then she held out her hand, her skin shimmering like glitter. It swirled down, forming an orb in her hand.
Nicholas s essence.
I was hesitant to touch it.
You re just giving it to me?
She smiled.
Not everything is complicated. Sometimes the answers are right in our hands.
I traced the scar of the Blood Promise, thinking of Alex.
Nothing s ever easy.
Sometimes it is.
She urged the orb at me.
But it s the easy answers that humans question, which only makes it complicated.
I think I understand,
I said, and gently picked up the orb of essence, which was warm in my hand like sunshine.
Remember,
she said.
Not everything is as hard as you think. Sometimes the answers are right in front of us.
I nodded, turning away from Annabella, her words the wisest ever spoken to me. I followed Helena back through the garden, leaving the warmth of the trees behind and we shifted back to the darkness of the world of Lost Souls.
My sister makes things too easy,
she wallowed, pooling her body back onto her throne.
She just hands it over, without any bargains. She s always been the stupid one.
It s hard to believe she s your sister.
I cupped the orb carefully in my hands.
You two are nothing alike.
That s because she believes in good, which makes her weak.
And what do you believe in?
I asked.
She smiled vainly.
Myself.
I couldn t help but think of the story of Malefiscus and his brother Hektor. One selfish, the other good. And in the story, good triumphed for the time being. But I wondered how the story would have gone if Hektor had to sacrifice his life to trap Malefiscus in the portal. Would bad have triumphed instead? Or would he have thrown down his life, to save everyone he ever cared about.
The question you asked me earlier, I have your answer.
I approached the throne, not steady with great sureness, but terrified and emotional. Because that s who I was. I wasn t a fearless soldier with a hero complex to save the world.
I was just a girl, doing what I had to do to make things right.