The Lost Saint

You’re better than him.

I picked up my pace, running harder and faster. My backpack smacked against my back with every step. I dodged pedestrians and cars and leaped over anything that got in my way. I knew people were pointing, stopping slack-jawed to watch the girl who was running like she was being chased by a monster. But I didn’t care. I just had to run.

I’d started running because Gabriel said he wanted to take me away. But the monster I ran from now was the words he’d spoken before that. They trailed after me like a demon after its prey: In eight hundred and thirty years, I’ve yet to meet a single true Urbat who didn’t eventually fall victim to the wolf.

Those words haunted me. Just like the aching, shaking pain inside my muscles that wouldn’t ease—no matter how fast I ran. No matter how hard I pounded it out on the pavement, no matter how much I embraced my powers. Nothing eased the pain like before—it only grew stronger and stronger with my raging thoughts.

Gabriel was wrong about me. He couldn’t help me. He didn’t understand me. He had no right to say I was going to fall. He didn’t even know me.

You’re better than him!

But I couldn’t shake what he’d said, that all the Hounds eventually fell. Gabriel had to be wrong. Falling wasn’t inevitable. Why would God have invented the Hounds of Heaven in the first place if all of them failed?

No, you’re not like them, the voice said. You’re special. You’re the Divine One.

Yes. Yes, I was different. The Urbat thought that you couldn’t receive the cure without dying—but I’d saved Daniel. I’d cured him.

I was better.

Daniel knew that.

Gabriel had tried to make Daniel forget that—tried to turn Daniel against me. But Daniel had believed in me once.

He loved me.

Yes, Daniel loves you. He’s the one who loves you most. Make him remember that.

Go to him.

My body shifted, and my direction veered toward Oak Park. I can’t explain it, can’t describe it, but every part of me needed to find Daniel, needed to see him, feel him, touch him. Needed to know that he still needed me.

I kept on running until I stumbled down the steps to Daniel’s basement apartment and collapsed against his door. I sank to the concrete, quivering like the bright orange aspen leaves surrounding the house. My heart pumped so hard it felt like it was going to burst out of my chest. I’d never run so far, so fast, but still that horrible aching inside of me made my muscles clench with agony.

The door opened, and I heard Daniel say my name as he pulled me up into his arms. “Gracie, what are you doing here? Are you okay?”

I wanted Daniel to ease the pain inside of me, to prove that Gabriel was wrong about me, but hearing his voice and seeing his face weren’t enough. I wrapped my arms around his neck and then wove my fingers into his shaggy hair. I kissed the side of his face. Kissed him along his jaw and then behind his ear.

“Well, hello to you, too,” he said. “What’s gotten into you—?”

I pressed my lips over his mouth and kissed him with such force that he stumbled back into his apartment. I kicked the door closed behind us, dropped my backpack on the ground, and pressed my body against his.

I tasted him with my lips, drew in his almondy scent with every heavy breath, but it still wasn’t enough.

Still not enough to ease the pain.

I kissed him harder and ran my hands down his arms, feeling the curves of his muscles under his thin oxford shirt. Daniel’s arms tightened around me as he returned my kisses. His hands caressed my back and then pulled my jacket off my shoulders. It fell to the ground at my feet. Then his hands were on my waist, holding me tight by my hips.

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