CHAPTER 12
Payton bashed the steering wheel as he raced out of Aviemore onto a deserted street. He floored it and tried to recapture the lack of feeling that came with being immortal. Speed had no meaning; no adrenaline pumped through his veins. His pulse remained steady and the passing landscape may as well have been in black-and-white. It was better this way, he thought. Everything was back to dull, as dull as his life had been until he met Sam.
Still, it was impossible to pretend that he had no feelings for her. And now he knew she could make him human again. She had changed the curse! Because she was a Cameron. She wore the Cameron coat of arms. She looked like the women of the clan. She had crept into his heart. And if she was who he assumed her to be, then she would hate him if she found out what he had done.
There shouldn’t actually be any more Camerons. He and his family had exterminated her ancestors. They had spared no one.
But he wished things had turned out differently.
Payton clearly remembered that day. His little brother, Kyle, had spilled a bucket of milk while playing with their giant wolfhound, Lou. Payton and his father were teasing him about it over a mug of ale. Kyle was a strong boy, who had just turned sixteen, and it was already obvious that he would be a strong man. Nevertheless, Lou was a massive dog, reaching up to Kyle’s waist. When Lou had lunged for the bucket of milk, Kyle dove for it, keeping the bucket from the dog. But the cook had slapped Kyle for spilling nearly all of the milk, and while Kyle held his buzzing head, Lou had greedily licked up the milk from the ground.
Kyle had come to Payton for consolation. The two youngest brothers were very close. Their older siblings were seldom at home, but Payton and Kyle actually liked to spend their time around the castle. Their talk soon turned to the family’s cows. Sheep and cattle were the family’s main source of income, and recently there had been a lot of cattle theft. It was normal in the Highlands for a few cows to go missing, but in the last weeks, dozens of cows had disappeared.
“There are two more cows missing,” their father, Fingal, reported.
This topic always upset the old man. He often told them he felt like he’d spent his whole life on fights and disagreements with the neighboring clans. And as he got older, he didn’t want anything to do with that sort of game. Immersed in thought, he combed his fingers through his shoulder-length snow-white hair.
“I have been thinking about a solution for this problem for quite a while now,” said Fingal. “I would like to hear your opinion.”
Payton directed all his attention to his father, wondering what his father intended to do. Kyle grew more serious, too.
“We joined forces with the Stuarts many years ago because it was only together that we were strong enough to protect ourselves from attacks by the other clans. That agreement made sense. Even after the old Stuart died, Cathal and I renewed our oath. Your brother Blair, my successor, is surely just as interested in keeping peace with Cathal as I always have been.”
This was all common knowledge to Payton and Kyle, and they nodded.
“One could say that I am getting sentimental in my old age, but I would like to leave my sons with a way to have a more peaceful life than I had. The old feud between the Stuarts and the Camerons is a thorn in my side. It often pulls us into trouble, needlessly. That is why I have decided to join forces with the Camerons.”
Payton looked from his father to Kyle and back. He liked the idea of settling the situation between the clans, true, but he couldn’t imagine that the Stuarts would be satisfied with this plan.
“Father, how do you think this will work? Are we to just forget the constant robbery and no longer defend ourselves?” he asked.
Fingal shook his head.
“No, of course not. We must stop stealing one another’s cattle and start protecting our herds together. Thus we could keep almost double the amount of cattle on the same land. The borderlands would be safe, too.”
“That is good. But how?”
“A bond that is stronger than an oath.” Fingal looked at the two questioning faces. “A marriage. I have already talked to Blair about it, but he didn’t like the idea.”
Hidden by his beer mug, Kyle giggled. “And it’s pretty clear that Nathaira Stuart will like your idea even less!”
Fingal nodded. “Yes, that’s what I fear, too, but these decisions are not for the women to make. No, Blair will do what I demand of him. He knows what he has to do for his clan.”
Payton remained skeptical. Kyle, on the other hand, grinned. “Father, if Blair refuses, then I’ll marry a Cameron.”
Payton laughed. “You?”
“Yes! Have you ever had a good look at the Cameron women? Each one is prettier than the next. I wouldn’t say no to such a union!”
Fingal clapped his hands on his legs, roaring with laughter, too.
They were still laughing when Blair, Cathal Stuart, and his sister, Nathaira, joined them in the hall. All three seemed to be in a bad mood, and their angry words echoed through the room. Fingal asked them to join them at the table, but only Cathal pulled up a chair. Blair stayed standing with Nathaira by his side, as always.
“Cathal, ciamar a tha thu?” Fingal asked.
“I am not well. There have been more raids. This time one of my shepherds was killed,” Cathal said angrily. “I can’t tolerate these thefts any longer. Tonight I am going to the Camerons. We will see whether they have our cattle standing in their stables!”
Everyone could see how upset the young chieftain was. And he did have to prove himself in front of his people, to not appear weak. Cathal could no longer ignore the voices in the clan who were demanding revenge, but Fingal did not want to fight anymore.
“I can understand that, but this time you will have to do without my support.”
“Father,” Blair cried out, “what are you saying? Of course we are going to stand by our friend!”
“No,” Fingal thundered, “we are staying out of this!”
“Father, you can’t mean that. I am not going to obey you. Cathal needs our help!”
Cathal himself had gotten up, too, and shot an angry look across the table. “Fingal, for all the Saints’ sakes! You can’t refuse to support me. We have an oath sealed with blood.”
The old McLean chieftain stood up slowly, leaned on the table, and declared with more determination than expected, “Cathal, mo charaid, I understand why you are so upset, but confrontation is not the only way. At my age, one wants to have one’s inheritance safe. And I do not wish to start a revolt during my last days. I will not lose good men in a fight, nor will I expose my people to arbitrary revenge. No, this is a path we are not going to tread again. An allegiance is what will bring us all a lasting peace.”
Silently, the men stared at Fingal. Only Nathaira couldn’t hold herself back. She went on the attack.
“You old coward! Just because you have no more guts. The clan will refuse to support Cathal if he doesn’t care for their safety!” She had placed herself directly in front of Fingal.
Kyle grabbed her arm and pulled her away. “What are you thinking, you stupid woman? Go! Don’t interfere in men’s business.”
He pushed Nathaira toward the door and threw a warning look at Blair. “Maybe you should marry a Cameron woman instead, as that girl only means trouble.”
Blair, who often acted on impulse, grabbed Kyle’s collar and pushed him against the table. With a loud crash, two chairs fell over and wood splintered. Quickly, Payton ran to help his little brother, but Fingal was already banging his fist on the table.
“Seas! Stop this, immediately!”
He glared in warning from one to the other as he spoke. “Cathal, take your sister and leave! You heard my answer. And you, Blair, join me in my quarters. We have much to discuss.”
With that, Fingal turned around and left the hall. Payton was standing between Kyle and Nathaira, who lingered in the door. They both looked like they still wanted to fight.
“Calm down,” Payton said.
“Blair,” Nathaira whined, “what does Kyle mean, that you should marry a Cameron? You are marrying me, I believe.”
“Yes, of course. There is nothing for you to get upset about.”
Blair had good reason to be angry. His father had humiliated him in front of his best friend, treating him like a child. And on top of that, his fiancée was acting up.
But Kyle also still hadn’t cooled down. “You idiot! You can’t put that nighean na galladh above the interests of your own clan!”
Now Cathal joined in again. “No one—and certainly not a half child like yourself—calls my sister a dog’s daughter! Away with you or you will get to know me!”
“I am only saying that if I were the chieftain of the clan I would realize how beneficial a marriage with the Camerons could be. I wouldn’t think purely with my pecker!” Kyle whirled around and stomped out of the room. Just in time, too, as Payton would have been hard-pressed to stop Blair from throttling his little brother.
“Blair, you are soon to be the head of this clan. I demand your help tonight, or I will consider our oath to be voided.” Cathal’s words echoed through the high hall.
“Of course, mo charaid. You can count on me. Sean, Payton, and I will accompany you.”
When Cathal was in a mood like this, Payton preferred not to say anything. It wasn’t advisable to fight with him. He would argue with Blair later that their father had explicitly forbidden joining the attack.
But Payton also knew that he didn’t really have a choice. When their father had been very ill a few months before, he had demanded that his sons swear loyalty to Blair. He wanted to prevent any quarrels between his sons after his death. Shortly afterward, Fingal’s health improved, and no one doubted who still was the McLeans’ chieftain. But there had never been such a fight as this.
Cathal and Nathaira left, and Blair went to his father’s quarters. Payton stayed back alone to finish his ale. Just as he put his beer mug to his mouth, Sean came into the hall.
“What’s been going on in here? Cathal and his sister just stormed right past me without even a nod.”
He sat down on a chair next to Payton, pulled up Kyle’s half-empty mug, and took a big gulp.
Payton was giving Sean a blow-by-blow account when they heard shouting coming from the living quarters. Finally, a door banged and Blair appeared in the hall, his face bright red.
“Don’t just sit around—get ready! We are riding with Cathal in an hour.”
On his way out, he bumped into Kyle, who was just returning.
“And you—get out of my way,” Blair said, pushing Kyle out the door.
Sean, who hadn’t witnessed his siblings’ fight, asked, “Is Kyle not coming with us?”
Blair looked scornfully at his youngest brother.
“No, I have no need for disloyal, impertinent children.”
A car was coming toward him. Payton took his foot off the gas and breathed deeply. The memory of that fateful day had burned itself into his mind. The guilt he felt weighed just as heavily now as it had then.
All the Camerons are dead, he said to himself. But one question after another popped into his head: How come Sam looked so much like a Cameron? And where did she get that coat of arms? Could it be that someone truly had managed to escape?
He thought back to how young and stupid he’d been. He didn’t know how many people were supposed to have been in the castle at the time. Nor had he bothered to ask how many had been killed. Cathal had claimed there were no more Camerons, and everyone believed it.
But Payton’s heart recognized Sam for what she was. A living, breathing Cameron. When he’d left her there at the pub, she was crying. He had made her cry—and he hated himself for that. And now the toughest questions came to him: Could he ever make up for what he’d done to her ancestors? Could he tell her the truth?
He would ask her to forgive him. Then he would leave her in peace, never see her again—and love her for the rest of his endless life. His immortal heart lay in the hands of a woman who would never forgive him if she ever found out what he had done. Still, he had to see her one more time.