Building Friendships…
Christmas
“God, this is amazing Toby! Thank you for inviting me to join you guys!” I was awed at the sight of the powdery slopes of the French Alps. We were staying in a chalet owned by Toby’s aunt and it was beyond beautiful.
All four of us were on the slopes all day. While Toby and Blake went hardcore, Lucy and I just did a few decent runs. She and I chatted on and on about everything… asking about Kyle and why wasn’t I with him. Christmas was a sensitive subject for me. Since I don’t have my parents, Christmas is the most depressing time of the year for me. I remembered telling Kyle that I was not flying back… he wasn’t pleased… at all.
“Sienna, for the love of God, come back home! You know I can’t fly out there. Christmas is busy for us with all these artists releasing albums. Don’t do this baby, please, be with me.” Kyle huffed out a painful sigh.
“I already told the guys that I was joining them in France. I’m sorry, but you know how I feel about Christmas. Why can’t you just fly out here for a few days? I will make it worth your while. Everyone would be delighted to meet you.”
I heard him groan on the other end. It took him a few minutes before he spoke again. “I can’t, Si. It’s impossible.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Si, are you sure you don’t want to come home because you don’t want to see me? It seems that you’re doing good without me. If you want to let me go, just say so. Just don’t make me feel like shit, Si.”
“Baby, I love you. I’m in love with you. Don’t do this. I miss you, too—like crazy—but I can’t go home. I just can’t right now. You know my situation, babe. I can’t go back, yet.” I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself. LA has a lot of bad memories for me. I can’t go back, not yet.
“I’m sorry, baby. You’re right. I do understand. I’m just being selfish. I just miss you, that’s all.” I bit my lip as I listened to his pained voice.
“I love you, Kyle.”
“I love you, too, Si. More than you’ll ever know.”
***
That night, when Lucy and Toby decided to turn in early, Blake asked me to meet him out on the chalet deck. When I did, I was surprised to find that he had the fireplace going and a couch that was pushed almost to the wood railing with comforters.
I looked at Blake, confused. “I was wondering if you’re up for stargazing? The sky is clear and the stars are out. I was hoping that you might like that.”
Oh.
How f*cking romantic is this? Well, maybe not romantic since we’re only friends and all...
“Sure, Knightly. I’ll keep you company.” I strode over to the couch as he handed me my own blanket. “Let me warn you, though, I don’t know much about stars.”
He merely laughed. “Well then, I will gladly educate you. You’re quite lucky to have such an accomplished and knowledgeable companion.”
Of course, I forgot that this dude was f*cking smart, too. He seemed to just excel in everything. It’s annoying and, at the same time, I couldn’t help admiring his sharp mind. On top of that, he had such a passionate nature. Blake told me it’s because of his half-Italian heritage. I thought, he’s right on that score. Italians are quite passionate beings.
And so, we sat and huddled with our respective wool-checkered blankets while we stargazed.
“Do you believe in love at first sight?” I asked Blake out of the blue. I looked at him sideways and waited for his answer.
When his eyes met mine, he studied me for a minute. The fire from the outdoor fireplace made his eyes dance with such spell-binding power, I felt like I was being hypnotized. Those eyes were arresting me as he probed and searched my golden depths. “Yes, I do believe in love at first sight.”
Seriously?
Blake Knightly? Huh.
I was beyond piqued. “How can you believe in such a connection of souls? You can’t seem to stay in one relationship for more than a few weeks…Or… maybe you have… but what happened?”
Without breaking eye contact, he responded, “Well, I think it’s close to love at first sight. I knew when I first saw her that my life had changed in that instant. Something altered for me and I wasn’t the same man before I met her. However, she’s with someone else and very much in love with him.”
His answer took me aback for a second. “Oh, that must suck. I’m sorry. So, this woman, she just… didn’t care for you… at all?”
Blake merely shook his handsome head. “I didn’t tell her, of course.”
“But why? If you love her… you’re not going to fight for her?” How could a person love someone and not fight for that? I just didn’t get it.
“You must understand that some circumstances are just meant to be that way. One cannot force something such as love to be an easy one. Do I wish to have her in my arms? Without a doubt, I do wish it, more than anything. Maybe the timing is wrong, who really knows?”
I gave him a quick hug and smiled brightly at him. “Maybe one day, you will get to be with her. You never know.” I wanted him to have his happily ever after.
Blake held my hand and squeezed it. “Maybe one day, but once I do get to have her, I will not let her go.”
When we reverted back to studying the stars and, while he explained to me which one was Cassiopeia, my thoughts lingered to what we discussed a few minutes ago… I wondered how it would feel to have such a compelling man like Blake want you like no other…
For the first time in my life, I imagined being with another man, one that wasn’t Kyle Matthews.