She would not answer Collier. Though that sick yearning inside her said otherwise, she did not want the ability to control him or root around inside his mind. He had been so reckless, not willing to recognize the danger of his actions. What would happen when she fell asleep? What would the Myriad One do to him through her?
No, she could not fall asleep—not just to save herself, but to protect him.
Behind her, she could hear Jon Tayt calling out, but his words did not fully reach her. Her cloak whipped about her shoulders, fanning out behind her like a banner. Tears stung her eyes from the wind beating against her face. Faster, she wanted to ride faster!
She had studied a Dochte Mandar’s tome about the hetaera. She had learned about them, been warned about them, but really . . . so little was commonly known about them, only tidbits chronicled by Dieyre before his death. She knew about the brand on the shoulder. She knew that once a hetaera gave her kystrel to a man, her powers increased. She had also learned that hetaera always betrayed those who held their kystrels. Betrayal was their favorite tool.
Maia, please! Answer me. What would you have me do? You said last night you would guide me. Do you want me to invade Comoros? Do you want me to topple your father?
Maia gritted her teeth, anguished by her feelings. She could use her powers to stop him. But using them would only increase the Myriad One’s sway over her.
She tried to shut him out of her mind. She tried to bury his thoughts away where she could not hear him. Maia kept her gaze fixed on the approaching mountains, the hulking snow-capped peaks and rugged edges. It was beautiful, yet she was filled with nothing but dread.
She knew that no matter how hard she rode, she could not escape Collier’s voice in her head. She would not be able to escape until she found an Aldermaston who could banish the Myriad One from her body.
Cruix Abbey. The thought burned in her mind like a seething coal from a fire pit. She had to reach the abbey without sleeping.
Yet why did that thought also bring with it a small throb of glee?
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Fear Liath
The air in the mountains sliced like knives with each frozen breath. Maia was grateful now that Jon Tayt had insisted she bring both gowns, for she had needed them for the arduous journey rising into the Peliyey Mountains. While the view from the valley below was majestic in its splendor, it had been a difficult climb, taxing both her strength and her determination.
Jon Tayt had warned that because they were entering the mountains so late in the day, it would be hard to cross the Fear Liath’s lair before dark. Maia did not feel she had a choice. She could not linger in the valley to wait out the night, not when falling asleep could be disastrous. She could feel the awareness of the Myriad One inside her. Now that she knew it was there, her own thoughts so intermingled with its that she was not sure which were truly her own.
They had left the horses down on the valley floor, for the ground was too treacherous and steep for them to make the climb. Mules would have been better companions for such a journey. Maia had wrapped herself in both of her gowns and Collier’s cloak, and even with her rucksack against her back, she still felt the mountain’s chill. Her legs throbbed with the punishing climb, but she was determined to make it through the pass in time.
Not only did she have a Myriad One trapped inside her head, but she also had to deal with Feint Collier. It took some concentration and focus to block out the thoughts of where he was and who he was with, but after a persistent effort, he fell silent.
As she walked, she pondered why she had not told him the truth about her predicament. In those first moments after awakening, she had been too disoriented, confused, and frightened to think straight. But why not tell him now? He believed she was a hetaera. The mark on her shoulder could not be explained away. Yet she had not willingly accepted any hetaera vows, and she could not remember how it had even happened. She might not be able to control what she did when she lost consciousness or when the being inside her took control, but she could at least explain the situation to Collier. Certainly he could choose not to believe her, but was that truly a reason to remain silent? She struggled with indecision.
The mountains rose steeply, and she paused to drink from her flask of water. Jon Tayt did not look winded at all, and he stopped to wait for her, hooking his thumb in his broad belt. Argus sniffed at the dirt and stone of the trail thoroughly. She looked back and saw the kishion, his eyes fixed on her, as they always were. She wondered again what, specifically, her father had hired him to do. Would he be honest if she asked him?