I secured my rifle over my shoulder and stuck my hands in my pockets. It seemed that I was spending a lot of time lately getting lectured. I’d thought that leaving the Factory would end all of that, but I guess I should have known better.
I turned from Megan and Abraham and looked across at the wall nearest me. I was having trouble focusing on the guns, which was a first for me. My mind was working over what she’d asked. Why did being called a nerd bother me?
I walked over to her side.
“… don’t know if it’s what we want,” Abraham was saying.
“But the explosions are so big,” Diamond replied.
“It’s because they took the smart ones away,” I said softly to Megan.
I could feel her eyes on me, but I continued staring at the wall.
“A lot of kids at the Factory tried so hard to prove how smart they were,” I said quietly. “We had school, you know. You went to school half the day, worked the other half, unless you got expelled. If you did poorly the teacher just expelled you, and after that you worked full days. School was easier than the Factory, so most of the kids tried really hard.
“The smart ones, though … the really smart ones … the nerds … they left. Got taken to the city above. If you showed some skill with computers, or math, or writing, off you went. They got good jobs, I hear. In Steelheart’s propaganda corps or his accounting offices or something like that. When I was young I’d have laughed about Steelheart having accountants. He’s got a lot of them, you know. You need people like them in an empire.”
Megan looked at me, curious. “So you …”
“Learned to be dumb,” I said. “Rather, to be mediocre. The dumb ones got kicked out of school, and I wanted to learn—knew I needed to learn—so I had to stay. I also knew that if I went up above, I’d lose my freedom. He keeps a lot better watch over his accountants than he does his factory workers.
“There were other boys like me. A lot of the girls moved on fast, the smart ones. Some of the boys I knew, though, they started to see it as a mark of pride that they weren’t taken above. You didn’t want to be one of the smart ones. I had to be extra careful, since I asked so many questions about the Epics. I had to hide my notebooks, find ways to throw off those who thought I was smart.”
“But you’re not there anymore. You’re with the Reckoners. So it doesn’t matter.”
“It does,” I said. “Because it’s not who I am. I’m not smart, I’m just persistent. My friends who were smart, they didn’t have to study at all. I had to study like a horse for every test I took.”
“Like a horse?”
“You know. Because horses work hard? Pulling carts and plows and things?”
“Yeah, I’ll just ignore that one.”
“I’m not smart,” I said.
I didn’t mention that part of the reason I had to study so hard was because I needed to know the answer to each and every question perfectly. Only then could I ensure that I would get the exact number of questions wrong to remain in the middle of the pack. Smart enough to stay in school, but not worthy of notice or attention.
“Besides,” I continued. “The people I knew who were really smart, they learned because they loved it. I didn’t. I hated studying.”
“You read the encyclopedia. A few times.”
“Looking for things that could be Epic weaknesses,” I said. “I needed to know different types of metal, chemical compounds, elements, and symbols. Practically anything could be a weakness. I hoped something would spark in my head. Something about him.”
“So it’s all about him.”
“Everything in my life is about him, Megan,” I said, looking at her. “Everything.”
We fell silent, though Diamond continued blabbing on. Abraham had turned to look at me. He seemed thoughtful.
Great, I realized. He heard. Just great.
“That will be enough, please, Diamond,” Abraham said. “That weapon really won’t work.”
The weapons merchant sighed. “Very well. But perhaps you can give me a clue as to what might work.”
“Something distinctive,” Abraham said. “Something nobody has seen before, but also something destructive.”
“Well, I don’t have much that isn’t destructive,” Diamond said. “But distinctive … Let me see.…”
Abraham waved for us to keep searching. As Megan moved off, however, he took me by the arm. He had quite a strong grip. “Steelheart takes the smart ones,” Abraham said softly, “because he fears them. He knows, David. All of these guns, they do not frighten him. They won’t be what overthrows him. It will be the person clever enough, smart enough, to figure out the chink in his armor. He knows he can’t kill them all, so he employs them. When he dies it will be because of someone like you. Remember that.”
He released my arm and walked after Diamond.
I watched him go, then walked over to another group of weapons. His words didn’t really change anything, but oddly, I did feel myself standing a little taller as I looked at a line of guns and was able to identify each of the manufacturers.