“What happened?” Jasper asked, his eyes haunted as he slid to the floor with his mum and sister. You don’t want to know, Jasper.
Oakley looked up and pressed her back against my legs. Clearing her throat, she slowly told her story, stopping to cough or to regain control. As she explained that at the age of five, shortly after Jasper refused to go on any more camping trips, Frank started to turn up. She told us in as little detail as she could what happened. She told us that the first time Frank raped her was when she was just ten.
Bile rose to my throat. I clenched my jaw together until it throbbed in pain. Ten. Taking deep breaths, I tried to stay calm for her sake.
“It stopped when I was thirteen. Dad never explained why. He didn’t even tell me I shouldn’t talk still, but then he didn’t need to.
“I really believed him when he said it was over. At first I was scared to go away again, but he said he wanted to…”
She paused and took a deep breath. Wanted to what?
“That he wanted our relationship to be how it was when I was little. Before. I wanted that too. I wanted him to be a proper dad again.” She started shaking again. “I really believed him.”
Her strangled sobs made me feel like shit.
Chapter Twenty-one
Cole
It had been ten days since Oakley spoke up about what had happened to her, and ten days since I had slept properly. I stayed at Oakley’s house and held her while she cried herself to sleep. Then I just watched her, managing to drift off for only a few hours a night.
The police had searched the house and taken Max’s work computer and laptop away. The next morning Sarah had packed up all this things and threw it all out. There wasn’t even a trace of Max in the house; even all the photographs with him in had been burned.
Oakley blamed herself whenever she saw anyone crying. I had told her a million times that none of it was her fault, and I would tell her a million more until she believed it.
She rolled over in bed and snuggled against my chest. Her long blonde hair was fanned out on the pillow behind her. When she slept, she looked so peaceful. Every morning I hoped she would sleep just a little bit longer so she wouldn’t have to deal with everything. It was strange that now, when everyone was falling apart, Oakley was the one picking us all up – when she was the one who had endured the most. I used to think she was this fragile girl, afraid of everything, now I knew she was the strongest person I had ever met.
For the past few days she’d been distant. We were together most of the time but she was somewhere else, holding something back. I hated that she wasn’t talking to me. She was trying to cope but the vacant look in her eyes told me she wasn’t.
“Are you okay?” I asked her, as her bright blue eyes fluttered open but didn’t look directly at me. Of course she isn’t okay!
“Yeah.” She lied.
I frowned.
“Why can’t you look at me? Are you angry? I know I should have seen what was going on, I’m so-”
She pulled back and pressed her finger over my lips.
“Don’t ever think that. It’s not your fault.” I knew she wouldn’t ever blame anyone else, but no matter what anyone said, I would always feel guilty.
I kissed her forehead.
“Oakley, we slept together...” I trailed off not really knowing exactly how to put it. I needed to know that she actually wanted to and that I hadn’t taken advantage of her. She said yes, I knew that much, but did she mean yes?
She stiffened, looking at me in horror. The colour drained from my face.
“I know. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let you. It was really selfish.”
Her eyes filled with tears.
Wait, selfish? She didn’t think I would want to after knowing the truth.
“Oakley, that’s not what I meant. I hate what happened to you; I want to kill them for doing it, but it’s not changed how I feel about you. You’re still the most perfect and beautiful girl to me. I still love you more than anything,” I told her honestly. “You definitely wanted to though? I mean, we didn’t have to if you didn’t want to.”
“Yes, I wanted to. Being with you was something completely different to Frank. You made me feel safe and loved and special.”
I breathed out a sigh of relief.
“It almost feels like it happened in a different life. When I was thirteen, and Dad said it was over, and I shouldn’t think about it, I did. Well, as much as I could. It was always at the back of my mind, but I did move on. I felt like because it was over I could start being a normal teenager. Well, almost normal, I still wasn’t allowed to talk.”
Her voice was still really quiet and husky, and broke occasionally. I loved hearing her voice again.
“I just couldn’t go back to that place again. When I saw Frank, I knew what was going to happen. I couldn’t do it.”
“You shouldn’t have ever had to. I’m sorry you couldn’t come to me.”