For the rest of the plane ride, I just looked out of the window. A huge quilt of cloud hid most of the sky, but it was still peaceful. It also provided me with something to do rather than listen to Jasper go on about how many times he had scored on holiday.
Cole listened to him and laughed a few times. I wondered if he wanted to do those things, like having sex outside or on a plane. That wasn’t for me. Cole had made sex feel normal and beautiful, but I didn’t think I would ever be one of those people that had to have it everywhere, all the time. I hoped that I could be enough for him.
The plane landed too soon, and I followed my family down the stairs of the plane and into the airport. My heart sank as we stopped to pick up our suitcases. All I wanted to do was get back on that plane and go back to Italy. Cole seemed to sense my mood and stepped closer to me.
I hoped that we would get to spend some time alone before we told everyone. Everything would change then. We wouldn’t be allowed to be alone in our rooms, and they would be checking up on us all the time. I was worried how people would react. I knew people wouldn’t understand why he would want to be with me. I didn’t either. Would people be weird with him? Try to convince him he can do better?
“It’s gonna be okay,” he whispered smoothly into my ear. I nodded in agreement, although I wasn’t convinced, and grabbed my suitcase from the conveyor belt.
Once everyone had their bags; we walked to the long stay car park, where we had left the cars. “Are you coming with me, Oakley?” Mia asked as she unlocked her car.
I nodded and handed my suitcase to Dad’s outstretched hand. I got in the back with Cole and took one last look at the airport.
“You drive,” Mia shouted, throwing her keys to Jasper. I wanted to switch cars. Jasper drove like a stereotypical boy racer and it terrified me. How he hadn’t crashed already, I had no clue.
“Buckle up, kids,” Jasper chirped, smiling with wide eyes. I did buckle my seatbelt, and then double-checked it. Whoever gave him his licence should be fired. Gripping the door handle as Jasper revved the engine, I said a silent prayer and closed my eyes.
By the time we got home, it was getting dark. The sky was a dark moody blue, the shade it usually turns before a storm. It made me miss Italy even more. While everyone fussed around getting the suitcases out of the cars, I wrapped my jacket around myself as I felt all the anxieties and fears inside of me resurface. Back to normal.
“Right, we’d better get inside,” Dad ordered, with what felt like a pointed look at me. “We all could do with an early night.” That meant I couldn’t hang out with Cole any more tonight.
“Yes,” Mum agreed, and started saying goodnight to Jenna.
Cole pulled me into his arms. No one even batted an eyelid. They had seen us give each other friendly hugs all the time.
“I’ll see you in the morning. I love you,” he whispered in my ear.
We smiled at each other as we stated walking in opposite directions to our houses. Mum unlocked the front door and ushered us inside.
“You tired, love?”
I nodded, and she kissed my cheek.
“Okay, off to bed then.”
I wasn’t going to disagree. Spending the evening with Mum and Dad wasn’t something I wanted to do, and Jasper would just play his computer until he collapsed. I changed into my pyjamas and climbed straight into bed. Stretching out my arms and legs like a starfish, I suddenly wished Cole was with me. The bed seemed too big now I was alone.
As soon as I pulled the cover up to my chin and wrapped it around me like a cocoon, my phone beeped. Cole, I thought with a smile.
‘I miss you! Doesn’t feel right you’re not with me. Be ready at 8 tomorrow. I love you. X’
I couldn’t wait until eight o’clock, whatever it was for. I clicked reply and contemplated sending: I love you too. How bad could it be to send one text message? Dropping my phone on the bed with a soft thud, I pressed my face into the pillow and started crying silently.
I woke up in the morning and my head was pounding from crying so much. Checking my phone for the time, I squinted my eyes at the sudden light. 9:52am. Wow, I’d slept in late. I pushed myself up and rubbed my eyes. Someone laughed, making me jump. I recognised Cole’s laugh immediately.
“And here I was thinking you’d be ready by now,” he said, grinning in amusement. “You alright? You look tired.” He sat down and tucked my hair behind my ear, frowning in concern as he saw my swollen eyes.
“Have you been crying? Oakley, what’s going on? Are you okay?” I nodded. He pulled me close to him. “You want to go out? We don’t have to. We can just hang around here if you want?”
I shook my head and got up off the bed. I grabbed some clothes out of my drawer and held a finger up at Cole.
“Yeah, like you’ll actually be ready in one minute,” he called after me as I ran to the bathroom to shower and get dressed.