I gritted my teeth against the hate that was filling me.
“Frey?” a voice questioned from outside the hut.
The part of me that had acted before, relished my secret knowledge, was in control again, taking a calming breath before answering. “Yes, Ruby?”
“We should probably get started.”
Two more deep breaths.
“Okay.”
I stood, trying to get a handle on the tremor that was racking my body. One more deep breath and I stepped out, into the sun.
I tried to keep my face clear as I scanned the temple. Anvil. I remembered him before. He’d been there in some of the older memories, helping the scarred man with training, no, practice. I would focus on those memories later, no reason to stare at him now. I continued, seeing Grey and Steed by a pillar. I couldn’t decide on their involvement, they might have just been here for Ruby.
Ruby. Ruby the troublemaker? Was that why she was involved? For fun, entertainment? And then I remembered what Steed had said. Her interest in the diary was because of her mother. Was that the reason? Revenge or some sick obsession because her fairy mother had come up with a crazed plan because of my mother, because of me?
“Frey?” Ruby’s voice was concerned. Her hand wrapped around my arm, pulling me to focus on her face. “Frey, what is it?” She sounded panicked and I realized I was shaking again.
I had to cover. I couldn’t think clearly so I spat out the first reasonable truth I could give. “I… I just remembered something.”
She waited.
“Council… a council member.”
“Who?”
“I don’t know. I only see his face. Nothing else.”
She nodded and rubbed her hand on my arm in an attempt to soothe me. I played on her sympathy and eventually she encouraged me to lie back down.
When I was alone again, the rush of thought and emotion tore through me. I struggled to hold myself together. I couldn’t believe they would betray me but how else could I explain their association with Asher, the man who had ruined me, my mother, the North? A wave of nausea hit and I doubled over, sweat thick on my brow. I tried to wipe it away with a shaky hand but found I needed it to keep from falling. My eyes closed as dizziness took over. Someone was coming in and I realized I had been moaning in agony.
I heard them talking. “What’s wrong with her?”
“Get Ruby.”
And then, moments later, Chevelle’s voice. That pushed me over the edge.
Fever drove my dreams to new heights. The most irrational paranoia seeped through all of my old dreams, turning them to nightmares. But it was the new ones that were most disturbing. Even the colors frightened me. Blood red and flame orange saturated everything one moment and then the next stark white swallowed me whole. My companions, my guard, surrounded me in the long robes and tassels of Grand Council. Chevelle approached me, his face hard. As he closed in, his mouth twisted in a menacing grin and he grabbed me, pulling me close for a deep kiss. When he pulled away I tasted blood. Then the fire lit around me and they gathered to watch me burn. I tried to scream but my throat was dry and I knew intuitively it was dust from the sandy pillars that surrounded me. The flames threw wicked shadows across the ground, which began to sway, and I lost my footing, falling down only to be kicked by the watchers. I laughed then, crazed by the flame, and I could feel my mother. I knew she had done so, laughed as she burned, and I began to scream.
This time, the sound woke me, my own hoarse scream. I started up in panic but Ruby held me down, patting my forehead with a damp cloth. I was drenched and an errant thought wondered if her cloth had started out dry. My eyelids fluttered and I fell back into a deep sleep.
When I woke again, a groggy relaxation kept me from opening my eyes right away. I could hear their whispers. “… maybe that’s not even why… maybe we overdid the training… no, let her rest…”
I silently took stock. My body seemed to have recovered from the days of practice. My mind was rested though still in pain. I tried not to think of why, wanting to stave off the worst of the pains.
They gave me the rest of the day to recover. That evening, after Ruby had brought me dinner, the door to my room flew open.
Chevelle stood, staring at me. His voice was impatient as he commanded me to get up and return to my training.
For just a moment I was surprised. And then, in a flash of violent anger, I found myself responding without thought. “Why? For him?”
He looked irritated that I was talking back to him but then his face turned to confusion.
I couldn’t stop myself. “How could you? After what he did. How?”
A small group had gathered behind him, seeking the source of the commotion. It enflamed me.