“Do they always bloom at night?” I asked, tucking my legs in as I sat down.
Cole shook his head. “They like shade, so they normally open near the end of the day. These guys just haven’t closed up yet.”
“Since when did you become a flower expert?” I asked.
“I know lots of random facts about plants. My mom loves gardening. Just wait until she starts working on her flower beds this summer.” He was smiling at me, trying to scoot closer.
“So what did you need to talk to me about?” I asked then, realizing that the five minutes I’d given him were already up. He was quiet at this, looking away as I tried to catch his eye. “Cole, why did you bring me here?” I demanded. I didn’t want to play any of his games.
“Jackie…” He scraped his hair back, the look in his eyes regretful, and I knew he was trying to apologize for the night we went TPing.
“No,” I said and took a step back from him. “No, no. You can’t do this, Cole. You don’t get to do this.”
“Will you just listen to me?”
“Why?” I asked. “Everything you told me at Will’s was a lie.”
“That’s not true!”
“Bullshit. You gave me this crap speech about being a jerk because you were jealous of Alex, but as soon as we get home, what do you do?”
“Jackie, please—”
“No, Cole,” I snapped. “I’m so done with your shit. You don’t get a second chance.”
“What about Alex? You’ve given him two!”
“You’re right, Cole. I did. But the difference between you two is that what you did—that was out of spite. And want to know what I think? I think that you enjoy being an asshole.”
“God, Jackie!” he exploded. “What did you expect after I opened up to you? I tell you my feelings, and then you turn around and date my brother.”
“What feelings, Cole? You never said anything about your feelings!”
“That I like you, Jackie! I didn’t know I had to spell it out, considering everything I’ve done for you.”
“Oh, so now you care about me? If that’s true, why would you try to get me in trouble like that?”
“Because you said yes to Alex!” he screamed. And then, as if he was out of steam, he dropped his head. “Why did you say yes?”
He buried his head in his hands, and we were both quiet for a long time.
“Cole,” I finally said as a chilly breeze drifted through the clearing, covering my arms in goose bumps. He lifted his head slowly but finally met my eyes. “I don’t understand you. One minute you’re making out with the entire cheerleading squad, and the next you’re mad at me for dating Alex? That’s not fair.”
“This was not how I imagined our conversation going,” he said, ripping a clump of grass from the ground. He started to shred the long green slices into tiny slivers.
“Lots of things don’t turn out how we plan,” I responded. After everything I’d been through, I’d learned to understand that.
“But I didn’t even plan for this to happen.” He moved his hand back and forth in the foot of space between us, indicating something more. I knew he meant me and him, and this thing going on between us, whatever that was.
“Look, Cole,” I said. “Neither did I, but I’m still dealing with it.”
And that’s when it hit me—about Romeo and Juliet, I mean. I never figured Cole or Alex into my life, just like Shakespeare’s most famous couple never anticipated falling in love. The Walter boys were unexpected, but I was still managing just like Romeo and Juliet did. Sure their way was unconventional, but what if that was the best they could do given the circumstance? Maybe I hadn’t given them enough credit.
I had been trying to fit my world into a small, safe box for so long. But life didn’t work like that. It could move in and out of the lines. You couldn’t control everything, because it wasn’t all meant to be perfect. Sometimes things needed to be messy.
I got up from the rock. So I couldn’t control the fact that Cole and Alex were in my life, making it one confusing mess. But I could uncomplicate it once and for all. Unlike Romeo and Juliet, I was going to take the easy way out of love. I had already made my decision the night I said yes to Alex. Now I had to follow through.
“I need to go back to the party before anyone starts worrying about me,” I said then. “You should go too.”
Cole didn’t move as I made my way out of the clearing. He just let me go.
***
The backyard was a sea of red cups, and I had to pick them all up.