“Please,” I told him.
Will reached the tiny kitchen and flipped on a light switch. As he shuffled back and forth, turning the coffeepot on and grabbing mugs, I inspected the room around me. Besides the couch and the table I’d stubbed my toe on, the only other furniture was a reclining chair that looked like it was going to fall apart the next time someone sat down. There was also a bookshelf that was almost empty except for a small collection of tiny, potted cacti. Compared to the old furniture, the only thing in the room that looked new was the flat-screen TV hanging directly in front of me on the far wall.
“Cream, sugar?” Will called.
“Just cream.”
There was the distinct clanking of a spoon being stirred and the fridge door slamming shut, and then Will came out of the kitchen with two steaming cups. He handed one to me before taking a spot on the recliner. Amazingly, it didn’t collapse.
“So,” Will said. “What’s wrong?” He hadn’t taken a sip of his coffee, yet he was starting to look more awake than when I’d first found him.
There was no point in beating around the bush. “Nathan’s in the hospital,” I told him as calmly as possible.
“What?” It was a good thing that Will had already set his coffee down, because if he hadn’t, I think he would have dropped it in his lap. “Was there an accident on the ranch?”
“Not exactly,” I said. “He had a seizure.” When I saw the dread on Will’s face, I added, “Don’t worry. The doctor said he should be fine.”
Will was shaking his head in disbelief. “But how did this happen?”
I paused. “They said he has epilepsy.”
“But—he’s so young.”
“I don’t think age has anything to do with it.”
“I know, it’s just…” He trailed off, burying his face in his hands.
“I’m so sorry, Will.”
He was still for such long time that when he suddenly stood up, making the recliner screech in protest, it startled me. “Is everyone still at the hospital?” he asked.
“Yes, I think so.”
“All right.” He snatched a pair of keys off the table. “I just need to put on a different shirt and then—wait,” he said, stopping to stare at me. “Why aren’t you there? How did you even get here?”
I flinched at his questions. “I–I walked here.”
“Why did you do that?” he asked. Glancing away, I didn’t say anything for a long time. There was no way I was going to tell Will what Lee had said to me. “Jackie, are you okay?”
I sighed. “I left the hospital because I couldn’t handle the thought of Nathan being hurt,” I told him. “It reminded me of, of—”
“The accident,” Will finished for me in a whisper.
“Yeah.” It wasn’t a lie. When Cole had brought Nathan to the kitchen unconscious, I was overwhelmed by the fear of losing someone else I cared about.
“Oh God, Jackie. I’m so sorry.”
Then I was crying, big heaving sobs that made my chest tight and throat sore. I was crying because of so many things: the blank, uncaring look I saw in Cole’s eyes at Mary’s party, and the crushed look in Alex’s when he saw me with his brother, Nathan’s accident, Lee’s cruel words, the loss of my family and home. And I was crying because I knew I shouldn’t be. Will was the one who had just found out his brother was in the hospital, but still he sat by my side, trying to comfort me.
“Shhh, it’s going to be okay, Jackie.”
But I didn’t know if it would be.
***
I must have cried myself to sleep. When I opened my eyes, I could feel the dried tears on my cheeks and the hair plastered to the side of my face. My neck was stiff from lying on the couch. I knew I was still at Will’s, but the apartment was dark again and I couldn’t see anything.
“Will?” I called out, my voice groggy.
“He’s at the hospital.”
The lamp next to the couch clicked on to reveal Cole sitting in the recliner. There were circles under his eyes and his hair was sticking up in the back, as if he had been trying to sleep in the chair but couldn’t get comfortable.
“What are you doing here?” I demanded. Seeing him made me feel sad all over again.
“Will wanted to go see Nathan, but he didn’t want to leave you alone, so he called me.”
I lay back down on the couch so I wouldn’t have to look at him. After falling asleep, Will must have tucked a blanket around me and I pulled it up to my chin now for protection. “But why are you here?” I asked, rephrasing my question.
“Because I was worried about you.”
I forced a laugh. “Please, you don’t need to lie.”
“Why would I lie to you?”
“Cole, stop pretending like last night and everything that went down at the party didn’t happen,” I said. “I’m not in the mood for your bullshit right now.”
He sighed. “I know.”