I thought he was going to continue arguing, but he must have sensed that something was wrong. “Okay. In any case, you know where to find us if you change your mind.”
Cole shut the door. I sat unmoving, staring at the swirling blue of the ocean waves that Katherine had painted on the wall. It reminded me of my childhood summers—warm, sunny days spent at the beach house in the Hamptons, where Lucy and I would munch on fresh picnics spread out on our beach towels and suntan on the seashore, occasionally dipping our toes into the cold water to cool off.
I needed to hear a familiar voice, someone who could comfort me. Grabbing my cell phone off the desk, I dialed a number I knew by heart.
Sammy picked up on the first ring. “Hola, chica, what’s up?”
At the sound of my best friend’s voice, my lips started to tremble, and I could only manage a measly greeting without bursting into tears.
“Oh my God, Jackie. What’s wrong? Is Colorado, like, horrible or something?” she asked.
“Sammy, it’s worse than horrible. I’m on a ranch in the middle of nowhere. Katherine Walter has twelve kids, and I haven’t seen a Starbucks since leaving New York.”
“Holy cupcakes! That string bean of a woman pushed twelve people out her who-ha?”
I managed a half smile. “Only ten of the boys are hers. Two of them are nephews.”
Sammy gasped. “Did you just say boys plural, as in all twelve kids have a Y chromosome?”
“Parker’s a girl, but she doesn’t act like it.”
“That’s still pretty good odds, if you ask me. Any hotties?”
“Sammy,” I groaned. The Walters were the last thing I wanted to talk about.
“What? That’s a completely reasonable question. My best friend is completely isolated from civilization, so it’d be nice to know if she at least has some eye candy to cheer her up.”
There might be one or two drool-worthy guys. As soon as the thought crossed my mind, I felt the guilt twisting in my stomach. How could I be thinking about cute boys when my family was gone? “Can we please talk about something else?” I muttered into the phone.
“Talking about delicious boys is my version of therapy.”
“You’re not cheering me up.”
“That’s totally what I’m doing. Now spill! What’s his name?”
I paused, not sure if I should tell her. One little name won’t hurt, I decided. After all, it didn’t mean anything. A sigh escaped my lips. “It’s Cole.” His name came out in a whisper, as if I was giving away a secret.
“Hmm. I guess that’s hot. I mean it’s no Blake or Declan, but Cole has a nice ring to it. Okay, now give me details. What does he look like?”
I buried my face in my pillow. “This is not how I envisioned our conversation going.”
“You’re making the whole process difficult with all the stalling.”
“Fine,” I said quickly. “He’s tall, blond, and from the sound of things, a complete pig. Besides, I can’t even think about boys right now. I just want to come home, okay?”
“Oh, Jackie,” Sammy said, her voice soft. “I wasn’t trying to upset you. I just wanted to take your mind off the bad things.”
“I know,” I responded, feeling bad that I’d snapped. “It’s just, all my stuff arrived today, and I can’t bring myself to unpack it. It would make everything feel so permanent.”
“I totally feel you, sister. My new roommate moved in last night. It was so weird seeing someone else’s stuff on your side of the room. And don’t even get me started about French class. Like, I had to sit by myself.”
The cord around my heart tightened as I thought about my old school, old dorm room, and old classes. The move to Colorado had cut me off from my old life and everything that was familiar to me, and the only remaining link to that world was my best friend. “Sammy, you don’t know how good it is to hear your voice. I miss you so much. I wish—I wish…”
“Jackie,” Sammy said slowly and deliberately. “Everything is going to get better, okay? Just promise me you’ll make an effort to settle in. It will help. I know it.”
“Okay,” I told her even though I didn’t want to.
We stayed on the phone for the next hour. Talking to Sammy made me feel a little better, but as I curled up under the covers of my bed, a feeling of complete and utter loneliness kept me wide awake.
***
The next morning, getting up to run with Nathan was nothing short of torture. No matter how many times I rubbed my eyes, I couldn’t shake off the blanket of drowsiness that was draped over my entire body. Then I caught Olivia sneaking out of Cole’s room. It was such a shock, seeing her standing in the hallway with rumpled hair and wearing one of his shirts, that I was instantly snapped awake. We both stared at each other with the same deer-in-the-headlights look, and then Nathan stepped out of his room, making the situation even more awkward. Even worse, we all had to walk down the stairs together.