“He mentioned something about how you were different afterward.”
This time, he stayed quiet for much longer as if he needed to gather all his energy to make his confession. “When I didn’t go out for football this year,” he started to explain, “most people just thought I didn’t care anymore because I had lost my scholarship. I guess I started acting like it too—skipping school, partying, girls.”
“And the real reason?”
“Honestly, I’m terrified that it won’t be the same. I feel—I don’t know. Broken, I guess.”
“So this replaced football?” I asked, gesturing down at the car.
Cole nodded. “I can’t fix myself, but I can fix this.”
I nodded my head slowly. I couldn’t agree with Cole because I didn’t think he was broken, but I understood how he felt. “You know what, Cole? I have a feeling you’ll be okay.”
Instead of answering, he changed the subject. “I’m moving into Will’s old apartment. He’s living with Haley now.”
“How come?”
“I’ll be closer to work. I have to save up money this summer if I’m going to pay for college.” Cole might have lost his football scholarship, but he still planned on going to the same college: the University of Colorado at Boulder.
“Well, once you’re all settled in, you should give me a tour,” I said with a smile.
“If that’s what you want.”
“Of course! Now how about you stop moping around and come join the party. I want to grab a hamburger before they’re gone.”
“You go,” he said. He was staring at me, the look on his face unsolvable. “I’ll catch up in the little bit. There’s one last thing I have to do.”
***
The next few days went by fast. Danny and I were leaving to go to the airport in the afternoon, and I spent most of my morning making sure all of my belongings were packed. As I looked around my room one last time, I noticed the pair of Katherine’s old jeans that Cole gave me hanging over the back of my chair. They weren’t on my list of things to bring, but I scooped them up and shoved them in my suitcase anyway. I wanted to bring a bit of Colorado back to New York with me.
Katherine was teary eyed when I brought my suitcases downstairs, and I knew it was hard for her as she watched Danny and George load the back of the truck. She was losing three of us in the span of one week. During the graduation party, Cole had packed up his car and moved out of the house, leaving only a note on the kitchen counter to explain where he went. When I heard he was gone, I felt like it was my fault. He’d mentioned leaving back in the garage and I should have known he was trying to tell me good-bye, but I didn’t realize he was planning to go so soon. I called him twice, but both times it went straight to voice mail.
“Before you all go, I want to show you something,” said Katherine. She had been acting mysterious for the last two days.
“You finished the mur—” Isaac started.
“Don’t ruin it!” Nathan butted in before Isaac could wreck the surprise.
“Come this way, Jackie. You have to see.”
Katherine led us around the side of the house to the barn, with everyone following behind us.
“You have to close your eyes,” she told me and covered my face with her hands.
“All right,” I giggled, not quite sure what was going on. Someone pulled back the squeaky barn door and guided me inside.
Parker gasped, someone started to clap, and I heard Jack and Jordan arguing about who looked better. I twitched to see what everyone was so excited about.
“Okay,” Katherine said, taking her hands away. “Open your eyes.”
My eyelids quickly snapped up, and I blinked a few times to see if what I was looking at was actually real. “Oh my God, Katherine!” I gushed, walking forward in astonishment. “This is—I don’t even have a word to describe it.”
“Don’t touch,” she warned Zack and Benny. “It’s still wet, and thank you, Jackie. I’ve been working hard on it ever since you decided to leave with Danny.”
One wall of the barn was covered in a spectacular mural. In the middle were Katherine and George, surrounded by their children. The little twins were painted wrestling on the ground, Nathan with a guitar in his hand, and Lee with his skateboard. But then I noticed the girl with two arms wrapped around her shoulder. I was in the painting, and Cole and Alex were smiling on either side of me. On the top of the entire mural in Katherine’s cursive font were the words: “My Family.”
It was then that the meaning behind it really sunk in.
“Katherine, this—this is the best surprise anyone has given me,” I said, barely able to get my words out. My hands were trembling as I pulled her into a hug. There was nothing I could say to truly show her what this—having a family again—meant to me.