Chapter 26
Hands pulled Ree into a sitting position, shaking her gently. “Ree. Ree, it’s a dream. Wake up.”
When she came to her sense and realized someone was sitting on her bed, she shoved away and fell against the headboard. She raked the hair out of her face and tried to catch her breath.
“Why is it that I never get a good night’s rest when you’re around?” Ree squinted at Roland and frowned.
“I’m sure we could come up with a way to help you relax.” Raising an eyebrow, he smiled at Ree, making her pulse race.
Deciding to ignore his innuendo, she looked at her clock and noticed she had been out for a few hours. “Did you break in through my window again?”
“How else was I going to get into your room?” Roland leaned backward so that he was propped up on his elbows along the foot of her bed. “Besides, it wasn’t like you didn’t know that I was coming. Your godling said he sent you a message.”
“He’s not my godling.”
“Then what is he?” Something in Roland’s expression intensified. “Something is going on between you two.”
Ree looked away as heat seeped into her cheeks. This was not a conversation she wanted to have with Roland, so she decided to ask about something that was prominent on her mind.
“How did it happen?”
“Ah, so you’re going to avoid my question. Very well. How did what happen?” He shook his head so his hair fell out of his eyes.
“How were you turned?” Her voice was hesitant, because she knew that it would upset him. Yet, part of her felt that she had to know. That she had to hear it from him.
His body froze and his eyes narrowed as he studied her face. “Why do you want to know that, Ree?” His jaw was tight and she could see the suspicion in his eyes.
She swallowed to buy time before responding. Should she tell him about her dream? Her mind teetered back and forth for a moment. If she told him about the dream, would he take that as an opening to say what he wanted from her? That scared her for so many reasons.
“I’m just curious,” she finally replied.
His eyes continued to search her face for something. When he finally sat up and scooted back against the footboard, she knew he was going to answer her question. Pain and fear radiated from him, making her regret asking. He was worried she would think less of him, but she didn’t know how to comfort him without giving away her dream.
“My family was very wealthy and wielded a great deal of political power. This meant that I spent a great deal of time networking, going to parties, negotiating deals on behalf of my father. The night I was turned I was at the house of my parents’ friends. The family was one of the largest and most influential families in our little part of Greece. I didn’t want to go, you know. I hated the duties that fell on me, hated the fake people and the backstabbing. To make it all worse, Tria was away on family business, which meant I wouldn’t have the comfort of her presence. She was my intended, but until our marriage was final, she still owed her family her service.” His eyes searched her face for a moment, and a wave of longing filled the room.
“Tria and Sophie were with their father, on the way to meet with merchants. He doted on his daughters and included them in his business dealings. I was prepared for an extremely dull evening of old men telling tales, but found that everyone was talking about a new girl. At first, I was relieved that there was something new to discuss. There was something different in the way she moved and spoke.” He closed his eyes for a moment, and Ree felt the inner pain the memory brought. “I wasn’t interested in knowing more about her, for I felt something dark about her motives. It’s hard to explain, but I knew that she was up to no good.
“She managed to manipulate me into walking with her in the garden. Once we were alone, she changed—morphed into the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. I wanted her, needed her. I promised her my fortune, marriage. I would have given her anything, even though there was a voice in the back of my mind screaming for me to wake up.” Curling his lip, he shook his head in disgust.
“Roland, you don’t have to tell me this.” Ree’s heart broke listening to his recounting. Adding his pain to the pain she felt in the dream was almost unbearable. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked this.”
“No, Ree. You have a right to know, don’t you?” Shaking his head, his eyes glazed over as he thought of that long-ago night. “She told me she wanted something else. When she asked me to kiss her, I could barely contain myself. When… when her mouth touched mine, the rest of the world ceased to exist. Nothing mattered until I heard Tria say my name. I saw her just before Della bit me. She was covered in blood and there was pain etched on her face. I wounded her that night….” His voice trailed off, lost in thought. Ree reached out to touch him, but he was across the room in a flash.
“No, Ree, don’t pity me. I can’t handle your sympathy after what I did to her. After what I did to you.” He paced the room while Ree sat there, dumbfounded.
“While I was at a party, Tria’s family was murdered by Dark Ones. While I was alone in a garden with a strange girl, Tria and Sophie were trying to figure out what was happening to them. They had come to find me, to warn me, and I was in the arms of another woman.” He looked at Ree, anger and hurt making his eyes bright. “Do not pity me, Ree. I don’t deserve it.”
She felt a sorrow so deep that it brought tears to her eyes as Roland looked at her. The self-loathing he felt was not something she could allow to continue. Moving slowly, she stood up and walked toward the Dark One standing in her bedroom. She knew that this vulnerable side of him was not something he shared with other people. She laced her fingers with his and studied his face.
“You don’t need me to forgive you, Roland. You know there was nothing you could have done, I know there was nothing you could have done, and Tria knew as well.” Taking a deep breath, Ree decided she would share her dream no matter what it might cause. He had suffered with this burden for centuries and deserved some closure. “Tria understood what was happening when she saw Della attack you. She never held that against you. When she called your name, it wasn’t because she had seen you with another woman, but because she feared for you.”
“You remember?” His shaky voice triggered the unshed tears in her eyes. Wet, salty lines traced paths down her cheeks. As if he couldn’t help himself, he pulled her against his chest and buried his face in her hair.
“I’m so sorry. So, so sorry.” He trembled against her, and she wrapped her arms around his waist. “Hurting you is the last thing I would ever want to do.” Tilting Ree’s head back with his hand, his lips moved toward hers.