Cherry flavored. Tea leaves. First love.
I return to my bedroom, wiping the gloss off on my hand, as there’s a CLANG against my window. And then I see what he’s about to do. “Oh God! No, Cricket, don’t!”
“It’ll hold my weight. Just grab onto that side, okay? Just in case?”
I clutch it tightly. He’s removed one of his closet shelves, the thick wire kind that’s coated in a white plastic, and he’s using it as a bridge between our bedrooms.
“Careful!” I shout too loudly, and the bridge shakes.
But he smiles. “It’s okay. I’ve got it.”
And he does. Cricket scoots across quickly, right to where I’m holding it. His face is against mine. “You can let go now,” he whispers.
My hands throb from gripping it so hard. I step back, allowing him room to enter. He slides down, and his legs brush against mine lengthwise. My body jolts. It’s the first time we’ve touched in ages. He’s so tall that his heart beats against my cheek.
His heart.
I falter backward. “What were you thinking?” I hiss, feeling all kinds of anxious. “You could have fallen and broken your neck.”
“I thought it’d be easier to talk face-to-face.” He keeps his voice low.
“We could’ve met on the sidewalk, gone for another walk.”
He hesitates. “Should I go back?”
“No! I mean . . . no. You’re already here.”
A knock on my door startles us even farther apart. “Lola?” Nathan says. “I heard a crash. Are you all right?”
My eyes widen in panic. My parents will KILL me if they find an unexpected boy in my room. Even if it is Cricket! I push him on the floor behind my bed, where he can’t be seen from my door. I jump in and pray Nathan doesn’t question the sound of bedsprings. “I fell out of bed,” I say groggily. “I was exhausted. I was having a nightmare.”
“A nightmare?” The door opens, and Nathan peeks his head in. “It’s been a long time since you’ve had one of those. Do you want to talk about it?”
“No, it was . . . stupid. A wolverine was chasing me. Or a werewolf. I dunno, you know how dreams are. I’m fine now.” Pleeeeease go away. The longer my dad stands there, the more likely he is to see the bridge.
“Are you sure you’re okay? You were so distant at dinner, and then when you cut yourself—”
“I’m fine, Dad. Good night.”
He pauses and then, resigned, begins to shut the door. “Good night. I love you.”
“Love you, too.”
And he’s almost gone, when . . . “Why are you wearing your glasses in bed?”
“I—I am?” I fumble and pat my face. “Oh. Wow. I must have been more tired than I thought.”
Nathan frowns. “I’m worried about you, Lo. You haven’t been yourself lately.”
I really don’t want to have this conversation in front of Cricket. “Dad—”
“Is it Norah? I know things haven’t been easy since she got here, but—”
“I’m fine, Dad. Good night.”
“Is it Max? Or Cricket? You turned strange when you saw him tonight, and I didn’t mean to embarrass you when I said—”
“Good night, Dad.”
PLEASE STOP TALKING.
He sighs. “Okay, Lola-doodle. But take off your glasses. I don’t want you to crush them.” I set them on my bedside table, and he leaves. Cricket waits until the footsteps hit the landing below. His head pops up beside my own, and even though I know he’s there, it makes me jump.
“My dad was talking about . . .” I struggle for a nonincriminating answer. “I saw you come home, and it was at the same time Norah was telling us about this awful client. I must have been making a terrible face.”
I hate myself.
He’s quiet.
“So . . . now what?” I ask.
Cricket turns away from me. He leans his back against the side of my bed. “If you want me to go, I will.”
Sadness. Desire. An ache inside of me so strong that I don’t know how I believed it had ever left. I stare at the back of his head, and it’s like the oxygen has disappeared from my room. My heart has turned to water. I’m drowning.
“No,” I whisper at last. “You just got here.”
I want to touch him again. I have to touch him again. If I don’t touch him again, I’ll die. I reach toward his hair. He won’t even notice. But just as my fingertips are about to make contact, he turns around.
And his head jerks backward as I nearly poke out an eye.
“Sorry! I’m sorry!” I whisper.
“What are you doing?” But he grins as he lunges to poke out mine. I grab his finger, and then—just like that—I’m holding on to him. My hand is wrapped around his index finger. But he zeros in on my rainbow Band-Aid. “Is that where you cut yourself?”
“It was nothing.” I let go of him, self-conscious again. “I was doing the dishes.”
He watches me wring my hands. “Cool nails,” he finally says.