Pretty soon that’s going to feel so good!
I’ll make you tea.
They don’t let us have tea. We had milk. Porridge and blue milk. What’s left when all the cream is skimmed off, eh? We drank that. The bell rang. It was always the bells. All we did was to the bells. Pretty soon you started hearing them all the time.
I still hear them.
Bang around in your head, eh?
Like a feast day.
Goodness, my girl. I feel that heat coming on. The cold sinks into my bones down there, like always. That first year, they took away my blanket, my little warm rabbit blanket. They took away my fur-lined makazinan. My traditional dress and all. My little shell earrings, necklace. My doll. She’s still down there in that souvenir case, eh? They sold things our family sent along with us for souvenirs. Traded them. You wonder.
What they did!
I know! With all the braids they cut off, boys’ and girls’, across the years.
There was hundreds of children from all over as far as Fort Berthold, so hundreds and hundreds of braids those first years. Where did the braids go?
Into our mattresses? We slept on our hair, you think?
Or if they burned our hair you would remember the smell.
But with our hair off, we lost our power and we died.
Look at this picture, said Mrs. Peace. Rows and rows of children in stiff clothing glowered before a large brick building.
Look at those little children. Those children sacrificed for the rest of us, my view. Tamed in itchy clothes.
These kind of pictures are famous. They used them to show we could become human.
The government? They were going for extermination then. That Wizard of Oz man, yes? You have his clipping.
LaRose drew out bits and scraps of paper, newsprint.
Here.
THE ABERDEEN SATURDAY PIONEER, 1888
BY FRANK BAUM
. . . the nobility of the Redskin is extinguished, and what few are left are a pack of whining curs who lick the hand that smites them. The Whites by law of conquest, by justice of civilization, are Masters of the American continent, and the best safety of the frontier settlements will be secured by the total annihilation of the few remaining Indians. Why not annihilation? Their glory has fled, their spirit is broken, their manhood effaced, better that they die than live as the miserable wretches they are.
1891
BY FRANK BAUM
. . . our only safety depends upon the total extermination of the Indians. Having wronged them for centuries we had better, in order to protect our civilization, follow it up by one more wrong and wipe these untamed and untameable creatures from the face of the earth.
Oh well, said Mrs. Peace, here we are. It’s a wonder.
This ain’t Oz, said her mother.
Looks like Oz down in your graveyard. All those green glowy lights.
No poppies there in winter.
I’ve got better stuff in here.
Mrs. Peace rummaged around. Under all of the papers and mementos in the rose tin, she kept her Fentanyl patches—white with green lettering, in translucent pouches. She was extremely careful with their use. She was supposed to keep ahead of the pain, but she didn’t like to get too cloudy. She let the pain crank her up until she could think of nothing else. Her patches gave the medicine out in a slowly timed release. The amount she took now would have killed her years ago.
Exterminate or educate.
Just take the pain away, she said.
It was good we became teachers so we could love those kids.
There was good teachers, there was bad teachers. Can’t solve that loneliness.
It sets deep in a person.
Goes down the generations, they say. Takes four generations.
Maybe finally worked itself out with the boy.
LaRose.
Could be he’s finally okay.
It’s possible.
The recliner went plushier. The air dripped with sound. Watery streams of soft noise rushed along her sides. She put out her arms. Her mother took her hands. They drifted. This is how she visited with her mother, who had died of tuberculosis like her mother and grandmother. It was a disease of infinite cruelty that made a mother pass it to her children before she died. Mrs. Peace had not died of her mother’s tuberculosis. She had been in the sanitarium in 1952, the year isoniazid and its various iterations astonishingly cured the incurable.
I was sure that I would die like you. So I tried not to get attached to anything or anyone. You are numb for years, she said to her mother, then you begin to feel. At first it is a sickening thing. To feel seems like having a disease. But you get used to sensations over time.
You were saved for a reason, eh?
Those kids, said Mrs. Peace. To knit with them, make them powwow clothes, bring them up dancing. Have our little tea parties where I put just a little coffee in their mugs of milk.
Do you ever see them now?